170 days RELAPSE

It's because your brain released dopamine the dopamine in the brain it's a chemical that makes you feel good I wouldn't consider this an relapse because you didn't use porn and after 170 days if you faped just once it's not a problem but becareful you will feel the desire to fap again really soon try not to go to workout or do something else you like have a nice day

 

Relapse means something different for everyone. If I were you though, I would be less concerned about whether or not this "counts" as a relapse and more concerned about how M was the only coping mechanism available to you to deal with your depression. As said above, it's an easy dopamine hit that will inevitably give you some level of pleasure, no surprise there. But even though it made you feel better at the time, it's not a sustainable way to deal with your depression. Those feelings you felt will probably come back because you did not address the root problem but rather used M as a sort of band-aid. Why exactly were you feeling depressed? What can you do to directly work on those factors? I would spend some time figuring out what other activities you can do next time to get yourself out of that "zombie state" ... if you keep using M to cope, I think it could just lead back into a cycle of addiction, and most likely make your depression worse.

 

It sounds like you are suffering from real depression. I would highly recommend going to see a professional therapist or counselor about that. I don't think the symptoms you are describing are purely due to "withdrawal". Again, the reason you feel better after M/O is because it causes a chemical reaction in your brain that is pleasurable. That dopamine rush will wear off and you will just feel the need to relapse again. I don't think it's healthy to be in a place where the only thing in life that gives you pleasure is M/O.