18 days down the drain...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Will_Power, Jul 23, 2014.

  1. Will_Power

    Will_Power Fapstronaut

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    So, just washed 18 days down the drain. How do you guys get up after a fall, and motivate yourself to start all over again at day 0?
     
  2. Kravnky

    Kravnky Fapstronaut

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    Just like you did for those last 17 days! Be proud of what you accomplished, don't dwell on the negative, start moving forward again. You can do it! If it was so easy, they wouldn't have a reset button on the trackers!
     
  3. kingp1n

    kingp1n Fapstronaut

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    Get back on the wagon and try to build some momentum. The first few days will be the hardest.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2014
  4. Phoenix-free

    Phoenix-free Fapstronaut

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    Your 18 days are not down the drain. Those days are still yours! You can't focus on the set-backs. Keep looking forward. I used to feel that all my hard work was for nothing when I'd mess up. But like any other deep-seated addiction, relapses are to be expected. The fact that you're trying to overcome these destructive habits is wonderful and says volumes about your character. For me, I wish that those trackers would also track your total days and the number of times you had to reset. Good luck buddy...you can do it!
     
  5. thedaiem

    thedaiem Fapstronaut

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    Dont worry bro. You did it for 18 days you can do it for even longer. Just dont lose hope and surely you'll beat it. Nobody has left it without relapsing. Dont worry and dont give up!
     
  6. Geyser

    Geyser Fapstronaut

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    Hey pizzaman,

    If you activate the ticker function on your tracker it keeps track of your lapses. For up to 60 days I believe.

    As for other things in life. Create additional trackers. Or use a calendar.
     
  7. PaulBaron

    PaulBaron Fapstronaut

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    Hi. I'm 45 years old.
    I relapsed many times after a streak of 37 days. Didn't yet managed to reacomplish such a long streak HOWEVER, I'm still trying hard. As you can see in my banner, most of the days I stay clean. So we should look at the bright side. At all those "clean" days, that didn't use to be there a while ago.
    Today I relapsed, but the last 5 days in which I was clean - were quite easy. So I don't dwell in self resentment or pity. I'm looking forward to cross again the 10 day barrier, and then carry on. :)
    That's how I deal with it.
     
  8. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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    You may not be where you want to be, but you are certainly not where you used to be.

    I personally see recovery as a "walk" from one destination to another and not as a "climb" from the bottom up. If you see recovery as a "climb", every time you stumble it will feel as if you have slipped back to the ground. But I personally do not see things that way :cool:

    Here is what is happening to you: You are on a journey from point A ( addiction) and going to point Z (recovery) which is your final destination. But between A and Z there are B, C, D etc...What has happened is that you have probably reached point K and had a stumble. It may feel like a waste but it is not. The stumble happened at K and not A :)

    So, my friend you may not be where you want to be yet (Z) but you are not where you used to be (A). Your stumbles happened along the way (K). So, regardless of how much you might have binged, get up, un-dust yourself and keep going. You have managed 17 days. It is a clear sign of your resolve and inner strength. You will be free. It may not happen today, or tomorrow. But it will surely come. Remember your reset will be at K and not A :cool:
     
  9. Will_Power

    Will_Power Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all of the uplifting messages!
     
  10. Jalus

    Jalus Fapstronaut

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    Hey Will, I'm right there with ya bud. I just caved in after 30+ days, but to be fair, I was edging and juicing a few days ago.

    *sigh*

    Whelp, there's nothing to do but get back on our feet and try again. Note well, as Matt Queppet says, whatever you do (this is to you and me now!), DO NOT BINGE. Yeah, you caved in once, but if you can put up some resistance, it will go a long way. I just Matt's video on Relapse and it helped me a lot:

    Learning from Relapse
     
  11. perusan

    perusan Fapstronaut

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    Damn, man! I was checking out one of your threads and wondering how you were doing. 18 days is great, but damn I want to kick your ass for relapsing :) You know you can do this!

    Relapsing is a real pain. It happened to me after 78 days. 78 days! 12 days away from completing the 90 day challenge. My counter was sooooo green and then BAM! gone. You feel like a fool - because you know it was a foolish thing to do. But you reset the counter and remember - this is NOT starting again. This is continuing. You started this journey when you first searched out nofap. You are 19 days into your journey - it is just the score that has changed.

    Keep going! Stay strong! Good luck!
     
  12. Geyser

    Geyser Fapstronaut

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    That's an awesome way to think about it Perusan.

    I agree, one lapse does not undo all the hard work and effort you put into getting as far as you did. Neither does one fap or even two.

    Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get right back on that horse.

    Best of Luck To You Perusan and to Jalus,

    Geyser
     
  13. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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    It's not down the drain. You just tripped on your way. Get up and continue where you left off

    Going 18 days without fapping must've affected your brain chemistry in a good way. A single fap wont affect your reboot significantly. Continue and keep in your mind that you should beat your previous record of 18 days. That's a good way of thinking of this.
     
  14. Madrileño

    Madrileño Fapstronaut

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    And ask yourself what did I learn from that 18 days. What went right, what could be improved, where did I have a choice and maybe took the wrong one? You (we) are rerouting long established neural pathways. That takes time but clearly can be done over time. We have a powerful enemy living right inside our minds - like some kind of Alien scenario - it / he doesn't want to die but can be progressively weakened till there's nothing left.

    I like to use visualisation techniques similar to what some have found helpful in cancer recovery

    http://edition.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/03/ep.seidler.cancer.mind.body/

    I wouldn't like to trust a cancer diagnosis only to the power of imagination but in our case it's our imagination that has got us into this mess so it seems kind of fitting to use the positive power of the imagination to help us out. I try to think that the pmo craving isn't me - it's something that feeds on me but in fact its only a set of chemical reactions and connections that are in direct opposition to the "real" me - my cognitive and decision making self. One of the effect of porn addiction is called "hypofrontality" where the role and even physical size of the frontal cortex (the decision making executive part of the brain) are reduced by long term addictions. So the "real me" needs to take control again. I see cravings as mere chemicals and I am not obliged to do what the chemicals want if the real me choses differently.

    Just one tool or technique but it might help you not to feel flattened and back to square one and give you another way of helping rewrite the brain.
     

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