18 months later: A new life is possible! It is like moving to another country.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by SnowWhite, Jul 10, 2015.

  1. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    My success story is rather quick .

    I'm 43, and I was totally addicted to PMO for about 27 years. The addiction has taken a lot of my lifetime from me.

    In January 2014, I became top-serious to get out. I said to me "either get out or die".
    I did a "cold turkey": 30 days full hard mode. I became mad, I went through hell but also though heaven and paradise the same time.

    To cut it short: During the next 18 months, I went through several phases - ups and downs. But I was able to do streaks of hard mode again and again.

    I also understood that going out of PMO means to change your attittude. Not just "stop PMO", but "incorporate a new attitude". Connect to people, focus on positives, focus on goals -- really pursuit your goals, have the guts to do the things you want. Don't doubt in yourself, don't hesitate. And have a positive attitude. Whatever happens: You can always see it in a positive light.

    Also, I learned new social behaviours. I had a helpers's syndrome, and I overcame it. I learned not to help all the time, it even is BETTER no NOT help sometimes, and I learned to "take" and know my value, instead of "giving for free" all the time.

    Finally, about 16 months later, something noticeably began to change in me. I felt that I had become used to the hard mode, and I enjoyed it. And then I felt that my urges to PMO became more silent.

    Today, I feel that I have really made progress. The urges now come very seldom, and they always come in low voice, and I'm always able to let them go by and move on. It is like an old pattern which is there but becomes more and more silent.

    My best comparison for that feeling: It is like moving to a foreign country and learning a new language and living in a totally other culture. In the beginning it is hard, but after 1-2 years, you begin to assimilate the new culture in yourself. This is where I feel to be today.

    And after more years, you begin to think in the new language and finally, you even begin to "forget" your mother tongue.

    So: Although you can never fully delete your memories, you can overwrite them with new behaviour and new patterns. And that's what it is all about.

    So finally: A new life is possible. You just need to begin somewhere.
    My advice: Begin today with the first step.

     
  2. Spider92

    Spider92 Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations man!! It is noticeable that overcoming PMO gave you new motivation for life.
     
  3. curt

    curt Fapstronaut

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    What a great post. The internet changed my life about 20 years ago and then that lead to more.
    I am 100+ days. NoMO. One brush with porn two months ago. I'm just deferring my sex life with the hope of starting over even at this late date! Me wife is on board too.
     
    DannyCool likes this.
  4. Iggyismyguide

    Iggyismyguide Fapstronaut

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    I'm a new guy, forgive me for asking, but what's hard core mode again? Thanks.

    Oh and congrats. This is really inspiring!
     
  5. curt

    curt Fapstronaut

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    Hard mode means you don't use any pornography, you don't masturbate in anyway and obviously you don't have orgasms. Basically you touch yourself to go to the bathroom and wash it and no intercours. I'm married taking a break from sex so I can get a fresh start.
     
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  6. Iggyismyguide

    Iggyismyguide Fapstronaut

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    Okay thanks. A follow up, a fresh start means your brain is functioning like it should?
     
  7. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

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    Oh my! Did you pick 18 months as your goal for hardmode? Why did you stay celibate for so long?
     
  8. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, no, that is a misunderstanding. I meant that my whole proces now took 18 months. During that, I had PERIODS (streaks) of hard mode from 5 to 35 days; I made it 4 times for 30-35 days.

    But today, after more than 18 months, I can really say that you are becoming better and better.

    But you also need to be aware that the old behaviour never goes fully away. You can override it with new behaviour, and practically you are healed. But even then, the old behaviour patterns are still stored in your brain, and if you get into a vulnerable situation, then the pattern might be triggered. You can of course learn to overcome the pattern, but the trigger still is there.
     
    Musta likes this.
  9. Mackap

    Mackap Fapstronaut

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    Awesome! You've definitely had a fresh perspective of life. Very happy for you
     
  10. Ray Breslin

    Ray Breslin Guest

    WOW.That sounds wicked!Great work man!
     
  11. Temujin

    Temujin Guest

    congratulations!
     
  12. 9999ocb

    9999ocb Fapstronaut

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    good work snow white, thanks for posting the inspirational message. Most of us here need to hear these success stories. "pursue your goal, don't doubt" I like that !!
     
  13. McMillerino

    McMillerino New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for sharing. That really was inspirational!
     
  14. ThatOneGuy56

    ThatOneGuy56 Fapstronaut

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    Congrats man, I hope to be like this one day too.
     
  15. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    Congratulations @SnowWhite , your story gives me strength.
    Is there any reason why you do not use a counter?
    You should be proud of showing this great achievement!
    Keep doing the great job
    Fercho
     
  16. This is a fantastic post, and one I completely agree with.

    Nothing stays still IMO: you're either moving forwards or moving backwards. Great advice.
     
  17. canadianspartan

    canadianspartan Fapstronaut

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  18. Sentinel

    Sentinel Fapstronaut

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    It's never too late. You've changed your life to the better, that's the one and only thing that matters. Congratulations!

    Helpers syndrome? Tell me about it. I've had that since late 2009, I've been used, abused and everything in between, until now. And it has always been my own fault. You are the only one responsible for yourself.

    I learned that "you should always accept, what you expect",
    like if you expect to get treated like shit and never get payed by this prick, you should accept it.

    If you expect a decent pay, respectable treatment and so on, you won't settle down until you get it.
    And you'll eventually get it before you know it.
     

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