Hey everyone. Very glad to finally have the courage to create my first thread in the community. To be honest I joined the forum when I was 17 years old. I just used to look at the posts as they would motivate me from quitting my 7-year porn addiction. However, I realized I must journal because it means I have a grip on my journey. It has been a seriously rough journey with some nasty impacts. I nowadays feel quite insecure and anxious. Furthermore, thoughts of not having a non-lustful relationship with women always come through my mind because I can never see them the same way ever since I watched porn. I also get emotions of always being watched by someone and everyone. I've always wanted to get out of this dark pit but every time I decide that I will stop I rationalize my way through by "testing myself with porn" which I find quite irrational right now. By journaling my journey daily I think it will help me to finally get out for the better. I have read the success story of others and even though my journey to recovery is at day zero and I currently feel quite sad about it. I know by posting my experience it will encourage and help someone who has the same fear I had of posting my recovery to post his or hers.