18 y/o dealing with PIED

This is my honest opinion. I think that to begin with doing nofap while you are in a relationship is going to be very difficult. It adds stress and anxiety to the equation. The last time I had sex with a girl it made her feel really bad because of my ED and she did not understand it. It was only a one-night stand but I can imagine that if it was my GF then it would be 10x worse. She wants to have sex but you are not ready to do it but you might do it anyway because you don’t want to disappoint her. But you still can’t get it up because you have not given yourself enough time to heal so she feels even more depressed and you are getting depressed too.

You need to give yourself a break down there that means no touching, sex or anything so that it can regain its normal function. But if you keep going at it then its going to heal much slower. Here’s another take on it. You have injured your leg and the doctor tells you that you need to take it easy and not walk on that leg so it can heal. You would not keep walking on the same leg would you? Of course not because you know its going to slow down the healing process.

So what I’m trying to say is you should not be doing anything that’s my opinion. But I understand its going to be hard for you because you already have a GF.

 

Alright bud I'm going to lay this out for you plain and simple. Be open with her and really tell her what's going pn. Show her the site show her videos so she really gets what's going on. Let her know that what's happening is a real thing. From there it's on her she's either going to stick with you and support you or she isn't. So if she sticks around then you need to be supportive of her as well cause it's going to be very hard on both of you. Also romance her and what I mean by that is buy her flowers, write her little letters let her know she's appreciated and cared about. I hope this helps.

 

I second what, @A2789 says. Be 100% honest with your girlfriend. I can tell you deception hurt the relationship more than the porn. Definitely show her this site. My fiance didn't have PIED, but during his usage, there were times where he would go soft in the middle of sex and I was crushed because at that time I didn't know about his addiction and thought it was me. Ever since he has quit his erection are very solid and I've learned about porn addiction and realized that it was never about me. Communication is key, so just have an open and honest talk with her.

What helped my fiance is that once he quit porn he also didn't masturbate and the only sexual outlet was me. He retrained his brain to respond to a human rather than a screen. Sometimes things didn't work, and sometimes we still aren't always synched up with our moods and desires. I have the higher drive, so I tend to be the one rejected a lot, and it hurts, but at the same time I understand if he has had a long day, so instead of sex, I ask if we can cuddle and talk or watch our favorite show together. That way we bond outside of the sexual relationship.

Rebooting/nofap is and can be difficult in a relationship, but if you and her are serious about each other, then it's worth it! But tell her to check this site out so she can understand and know she isn't alone. It's true that if you guys stay together, you are going to need to make her feel as safe and loved as possible. That is very important in healing the relationship after addiction. Yes, romance her! Today marks a year for my fiance being clean and me finding out, so even though we made it a year, the one thing he never did was romance me, which I told him that is something I personally need to be able to heal and feel like he wants me and chose me and is with me and only me.