18 y/o Virgin Trying To Better Himself From PIED

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by LetsGetStarted, Jul 15, 2019.

  1. LetsGetStarted

    LetsGetStarted Fapstronaut

    Hey Guys,

    As you can see in the title i'm 18 years old and still a virgin. I've kissed quite some girls and gotten erections from them but never have I gotten a HJ or BJ. I discovered having PIED about 8 months ago when I was kissing a girl and had no movement whatsoever downstairs. I thought it was the alcohol. But the second time kissing a girl and not getting a erection about 1,5 months ago, I was sure it was PIED.

    Little background:
    I started fapping when I was 12. At first soft porn like pictures. When I was 13/14 I watched real porn. At 16 I started watching extreme porn to keep my dick working just till 53 days ago. And I would fap daily. Sometimes more then just once. So that's around 5/6 years of porn usage.

    The bad thing is, I knew about NoFap for 3 years already and I knew a little bit about PIED for 2 years. But I always thought that my libido was so high, that PIED would never hit me and I would simply click away that terrifying article/site. Yet here I am, 2 years later, having PIED and not even getting it up with a girl while kissing. I was so naive and stupid.

    So yeah, I started right after my exams were over (HARD MODE). (I GRADUATED!). On May 23rd.

    I did however start earlier with kinda doing nofap (8 months ago). I thought that masturbating (to pics) just two/three times a week would already heal me. (NOT!). I would relapse so many times (to porn), it really was unbelieveble. On May 23rd however I started doing HARD MODE. While I am writing this I am on my 53rd day, July 15th. I have the feeling that I am in a flatline, my symptoms of a flatline: Random Boners are rare maybe once a week and I do not feel any sexual attraction/desire to girls even while clubbing and mostly my dick looks like a dead noodle. My flatline started around day 10 and is still going
    I simply hope that my dick will function again after 6 months (180 days) in, yeah I know I still have a long road.... But I haven't relapsed yet and my urges to fapping and watching porn are gone (I guess? Maybe because of the flatline).
    And I really want to get this shit over with once and for all. My goal is 6 months but after that I will stop the streak and live a life without porn and masturbation.

    Because it is holiday now. I am spending a lot of time talking with my friends, socializing and going to the gym. Especially working out and socializing are the two things holding me from relapsing. But on the other hand lying in bed all day, watching Netflix is one of the cons of a holiday and makes my whole body feel like a dead noodle.

    The reasons I started NoFap:
    1: I do want to get hard erections again from real life girls. DUH?
    2: I literally thought I was gay? (It's one of the worst feelings ever if you think you are straight. Not getting it up from real life girls made me seriously question my sexuality. However I tried fantasizing about guys and even watched gay porn. I could not get it up either.) (Thank god)
    Side effect: I also started to think I was Asexual because of this. Well luckily I am not the only one and we all know it is because of the PIED.
    3: I really want to get deflowered. I hate my friends asking why I am still a virgin.. It's normal they ask that because they don't know what is bothering me and I don't have the balls to tell them. Also there are many girls and guys who think of me as a good looking guy, who should've been deflowered in his 16's. (Not to brag whatsoever.)
    I also hate it when my friends make jokes about my virginity. Fortunately I am not the only virgin in the group so that's what's keeping me going.
    4: Even though I graduated I was doing bad in school. I had no problems at school at first, because I am a smart kid. However in my last 2 years I started failing classes due to porn use and procrastinating, which is a symptom of porn addiction and lack of dopamine for other things than porn.
    I really want to succeed at university, so I have to stop procrastinating and start a healthy life.

    I know that because of the lack of real sexual experiences like BJ or Sex, my cure is not only rebooting but also REWIRING.
    Since I started HARD MODE, I haven't tried kissing a girl, just the fear of not getting it up while kissing or going home with her and still having no movement in my dead noodle is terrifying and makes me shiver. And I know that at some point in the near future this is going to happen, because it is all part of the process of rewiring my brain to real sex. And yeah I am preparing myself to my first failure attempt at sex. I really hope my dick will work again by then, but I fear not.

    My streak makes me stronger. And I will try to rewire at aproximately 90 days.

    I will try to give an update every now and then.

    PS: I am not a very good storyteller so it may sound a little mixed and English is not my mothertongue, but I hope that everyone understands.
    If you have any questions, feel free to ask them.

    EDIT: I must also state that I have been having depressional thoughts in the last 2 years. I can say that I wanted to commit suicide multiple times, or just wished I would die the next morning. Not having to go through this shit anymore. I feel less a man because of this bs.
    I must also say that I enjoy life more since nofap and I enjoy life again.
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2019
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button |Day Counter | Rebooting Resources|Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
    Sir Minato and LetsGetStarted like this.
  3. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

    Hey there,

    your story sounds a bit like mine. Not claiming that we are completely alike or something, but I had similar struggles in the past. Including the 'gay worries' (which are sometimes called 'HOCD' over here - homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder). To get over that part, I had to shift my general view on sex as a physical act. You are probably fantasizing about sex with a guy, not about loving someone. Well, if you get over seeking 'casual sex', it will pass, and even if you still might feel aroused by the idea it won't bother you as much as you won't consider acting out anymore. If you look for a stable relationship as a frame for sex, it just ceases to be an option. If you want to have casual sex by all means, there might be other ways, but I don't know any.

    I am not an expert in psychology, but I could imagine that it comes from having stared at too many strangers' dicks in a highly erotic context, and may be also from constantly touching a penis (i. e. your own one) during sexual action, instead of a female body. There might be different and more complex factors, of course.

    Anyway, regarding the PIED. When I was with a girl for the first time, I also thought it was the alcohol. Or at least that's what I said. I hadn't drunk that much, and didn't really know the reason. To make sure that I won't fail the next time, I fapped a couple of times while I imagined her in my mind, and during the second time it was even worse. I didn't know anything about PIED until three years later, but eventually I got the idea myself, thankfully.

    What can you do against it? I really don't know anything different than abstain. Other than that, I can only repeat that I would recommend waiting for a relationship with someone you love. Tell her about your insecurities, about your porn addiction, about PIED, about NoFap (may be do so before having sex for the first time). Don't expect too much. Your body and mind need to get accustomed to a whole new set of sensations than you are used to. Nevertheless, it is the natural experience, so, after 'rewiring', you should indeed slowly get it.

    By the way, you say you do not only want to reboot, but rewire. From my experience, I would again want to add that I had to change my whole outlook on sexuality to finally get it right.

    By now, I have no difficulties anymore. I tend to climax early, but it's way better than never, and I can still satisfy my girlfriend. It might all be different for your of course.

    Wish you all the best on your journey. Go day by day, step by step!
    Sir Minato likes this.

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