180+ days: How I feel.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by ThisTime, Feb 6, 2020.

  1. ThisTime

    ThisTime Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, I don't feel good right now. I haven't eaten well today, I slept poorly last night, and just did homework to the point where my eyes hurt looking at a screen. It's another day I haven't met a girl I like, another day not liking the way I look in the mirror, another day thinking about doing something then not, another day thinking about a dream I'm unsure I'll achieve. I want to go home from university and see my parents and hang out with my sister and my dogs.

    But today is another day of not watching porn. (Typing the word porn in this last sentence just felt awkward. In a kind of fantastic way.) It's been so long since I typed that word. It made me realize that watching pornography is not what I want to do because I know it won't make me feel any better. It's not going to solve any problems I have. I know this and I don't even have the urge to engage with porn. I think this is what a success story looks like on a day to day level for me.

    For me, I stopped watching because it was wasting my time, hurting women, and distorting my visions of love and sex. And I am so proud of myself for doing this. I've shown myself I have discipline. I have courage. I have strength. I matter.

    I've learned not watching porn doesn't mean you won't feel shitty sometimes. Shitty days happen no matter who you are. Even after you stop watching porn. But remembering that I don't watch porn reminds me I am more than a single shitty day.

    I am so grateful to this community for providing voices to people looking to reflect on themselves. I believe in you all as others believe in me.

    Feel free to ask any questions.

    I love you.
    ThisTime
     
  2. victorious136

    victorious136 Fapstronaut

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    this is cool. Keep going and hang in there. Shitty days happen indeed, but I like your determination!
     
    All all, ThisTime and Marshall 5 like this.
  3. IceColdKilla

    IceColdKilla Fapstronaut

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    Keep hustling bro. We are all better off without this life sucking habit in our lives.
    Keep your head high and keep pushing.
     
    All all, ThisTime and Marshall 5 like this.
  4. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    Thanks for such a transparent story. Definitely NoFap isn't going to solve all our problems and make life a Garden of Eden. But life is so much more vivid and beautiful without this nasty habit.
     
  5. winningover

    winningover Fapstronaut

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    Are you expericing withdrawals? I am going through severe withdrawals. I am porn free for more than 9 months now.
     
    All all likes this.
  6. Hooktora

    Hooktora New Fapstronaut

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    That 1st paragraph really stricked a chord in me. Thats what i have always felt everytime i was depressed, but at least this days we are fighting to keep our happiness intact. Keep on going strong man.
     
  7. ThisTime

    ThisTime Fapstronaut

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    For me, some days and/or weeks are better than others. This week in particular was pretty tough. Images and videos popped into my head that really disturbed me. I got boners that wouldn't go away and I was upset at myself that I did. But (1) oftentimes that's out of my control, and (2) I can get control back about what I think by reminding myself about what I really want in life. The two weeks before this one were fantastic with minimal urges and porn took up quite a small amount of memory in my brain.

    I think it really ebbs and flows, but I just take it one day at a time because that's all I can take.

    Hope this helps :)
     
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  8. IceColdKilla

    IceColdKilla Fapstronaut

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    ThisTime likes this.
  9. Homo Deus

    Homo Deus Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing!
     
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  10. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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    When does the strength of the urges go down? I'm on day 22 and probably experiencing the worst urges so far.
     
  11. winningover

    winningover Fapstronaut

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  12. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Nice to hear a different view and story. Thanks
     
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  13. IceColdKilla

    IceColdKilla Fapstronaut

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    Gotta look out for one another bro :) We in this together
     
  14. ThisTime

    ThisTime Fapstronaut

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    Hey man!

    Speaking honestly, there is no "one day" when the urges go down. However, getting the discipline to not watch porn has been a process, and your brain helps you out. Over time, the images start to fade, the videos pop up less frequently. Every day, while it may not seem that way, I know I am getting better.

    Setting goals for yourself is immensely important, whether it's trying to make it 30 days, 90 days, forever. Just know that you can only control today, and take it one day at a time. I try my best not to have the mindset "I will never watch porn again", but rather "today I won't watch porn because...".

    Good luck. This community supports you. You are loved.
    - ThisTime
     
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  15. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man
     
  16. I kind of relate to what you said in the beginning. I'm still working on improving myself too. But every day I look in the mirror I see the guy that's slowly becoming the best version of himself. Congratulations on your huge success!
     
    ThisTime likes this.
  17. theoptimist

    theoptimist Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing!
     
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  18. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    Bad days are a fact of life, that’s 100% true. But at the back of my mind, knowing I have a long streak under my belt is something that I can fall back upon. It’s a foundation. I have that at least.
     
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