AModernMiroku
Fapstronaut
Friends,
Peace,
Once more, as the title implies, I have finally made it to 180 Days of No PMO.
Although my time to write is short, I still wanted to attempt to parse out a few things regarding this journey.
For more context, I link both my Journal & my 90 Day Success Story.
As I had stated in my last bit of success, my desire to commit to another 90 days largely had to do with the following idea: the first 90 days was trying to gain a sense of normalcy right after the initial fall; the second 90 days would be an abstaining that begins on cleaner ground. Put another way, the first 90 days did not feel like a true 90 days due to the heavy PMO memories that haunted the first portion of the journey. I wanted a truer 90 days of being clean--and hopefully, being clean from the start.
Maybe it is akin to restarting a computer? The first part entails the actual restart; the second part involves using the updated systems &c.? The analogy is imperfect.
As for this journey: I did notice that the start was both cleaner & easier. To be sure, in the early 90s I had some heavy difficulties (such that I could not believe it! I thought to myself, "Is this really what a post-90 days looks like? Some of this looks similar to the start."). If I had to guess, this might further reinforce my goal of another 90 days. Perhaps my initial 90 days was more akin to 60 days?
Regardless, I also had some trouble near the Day 130 mark (as indicated by some of my statuses & journal entries). This difficulty mirrored the usual timeframe of difficulty that the first round experienced. Usually, after the initial success period is secured, Days 30-40 are the next waves of urges. This was true for the same timeframe for the second journey: I had some difficulties around that same 30-40 day mark after Day 90 (so, days 120-130).
After that point, however, things became far easier than I had imagined. PMO/fetish urges were more like back-of-the-mind suggestions than anything else. There is still a pull--& if I acted on it, I am sure (from experience) that I would fall back into some addiction problems & feelings--but it is controllable & fading.
I remember a time like this in my past--but I eventually acted out on my desires despite everything.
To add a point (because someone asked last time): I think there was only 1 wet dream this time around, whereas the first round had a lot (which surprised me).
To add another point: this second 90 day period was likely assisted by a reduction in life stressors. I got a new job sometime during this timeframe. It helped a lot. If you have life stressors, I advise looking in ways to reduce them. Perhaps you have an obvious fix (like me), & a new job will aid greatly?
I am sure that there is more that I could post (& I might in a later edit), but my time is short, so I ought to conclude this for now.
My next goal is a year's timeframe. This would be the next streak that I need to "regain" in climbing back up the ladder of success.
I hope that this next round only continues to bring forth results.
If you have questions or any such thing, feel free to ask.
Thank you all,
God bless,
A Modern Miroku
Peace,
Once more, as the title implies, I have finally made it to 180 Days of No PMO.
Although my time to write is short, I still wanted to attempt to parse out a few things regarding this journey.
For more context, I link both my Journal & my 90 Day Success Story.
As I had stated in my last bit of success, my desire to commit to another 90 days largely had to do with the following idea: the first 90 days was trying to gain a sense of normalcy right after the initial fall; the second 90 days would be an abstaining that begins on cleaner ground. Put another way, the first 90 days did not feel like a true 90 days due to the heavy PMO memories that haunted the first portion of the journey. I wanted a truer 90 days of being clean--and hopefully, being clean from the start.
Maybe it is akin to restarting a computer? The first part entails the actual restart; the second part involves using the updated systems &c.? The analogy is imperfect.
As for this journey: I did notice that the start was both cleaner & easier. To be sure, in the early 90s I had some heavy difficulties (such that I could not believe it! I thought to myself, "Is this really what a post-90 days looks like? Some of this looks similar to the start."). If I had to guess, this might further reinforce my goal of another 90 days. Perhaps my initial 90 days was more akin to 60 days?
Regardless, I also had some trouble near the Day 130 mark (as indicated by some of my statuses & journal entries). This difficulty mirrored the usual timeframe of difficulty that the first round experienced. Usually, after the initial success period is secured, Days 30-40 are the next waves of urges. This was true for the same timeframe for the second journey: I had some difficulties around that same 30-40 day mark after Day 90 (so, days 120-130).
After that point, however, things became far easier than I had imagined. PMO/fetish urges were more like back-of-the-mind suggestions than anything else. There is still a pull--& if I acted on it, I am sure (from experience) that I would fall back into some addiction problems & feelings--but it is controllable & fading.
I remember a time like this in my past--but I eventually acted out on my desires despite everything.
To add a point (because someone asked last time): I think there was only 1 wet dream this time around, whereas the first round had a lot (which surprised me).
To add another point: this second 90 day period was likely assisted by a reduction in life stressors. I got a new job sometime during this timeframe. It helped a lot. If you have life stressors, I advise looking in ways to reduce them. Perhaps you have an obvious fix (like me), & a new job will aid greatly?
I am sure that there is more that I could post (& I might in a later edit), but my time is short, so I ought to conclude this for now.
My next goal is a year's timeframe. This would be the next streak that I need to "regain" in climbing back up the ladder of success.
I hope that this next round only continues to bring forth results.
If you have questions or any such thing, feel free to ask.
Thank you all,
God bless,
A Modern Miroku
