180+ days success motivations and tips (helpful for Muslim fapstronauts)

I'm planning to edit and post the messages I sent to fapstronaut groups at different stages of my Nofap Journey. It's loaded with religious content. So those who are not religious, please excuse me. You can also read my Journal Here

WHY I WANT TO QUIT PMO?

Because, I want myself back in my fitrah... I want to be pure in my thoughts and my actions, my soul, my heart, my intellect and my body... I want to fill my heart with the words of my rabb.. On the day of judgement, I want to say to shaythaan: "I have failed you with the help of my rabb and you are the ultimate loser. And your assumptions about me were wrong. " I want to be among those who will be able to fall in sujood at the sight of my rabb... I want to set my gaze upon my beloved Muhammad SAW and be able to drink from his hands... How can I achieve any of this when I have anything to do with the filth?

Because I want to be among the people:
فَأَمّا مَن أوتِيَ كِتابَهُ بِيَمينِهِ فَيَقولُ هاؤُمُ اقرَءوا كِتابِيَه
إِنّي ظَنَنتُ أَنّي مُلاقٍ حِسابِيَه
فَهُوَ في عيشَةٍ راضِيَةٍ

في جَنَّةٍ عالِيَةٍ
قُطوفُها دانِيَةٌ
كُلوا وَاشرَبوا هَنيئًا بِما أَسلَفتُم فِي الأَيّامِ الخالِيَةِ
(18)Then as for him who will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Here! read my Record! (19) "Surely, I did believe that I shall meet my Account!" (20) So he shall be in a life, well-pleasing. (21) In a lofty Paradise, (22) The fruits in bunches whereof will be low and near at hand. (23) Eat and drink at ease for that which you have sent on before you in days past! )

I don't want to be among the people who would try to hide the record.. May Allah make all of us among those who will show our record with pride on that day.. Aameen

 

Assalaam guys.. It's really late here and I'm not asleep yet as I was really busy preparing for an upcoming project. I skimmed through all the 400+ messages. I felt that I should say some things, even though I don't have enough time. Please read carefully. These are just my suggestions. I'm not eligible to advise anyone. As I have said before, I'm writing this to motivate myself as well. I need someone of you to remind me, if I get to a low point in future.

M IS NOT JUST BAD
Guys, those who are searching for motivation to get rid of P and M, just go and read yourbrainonporn.com ... I can testify myself how Nofap is getting me back to my early teens (mentally), when I had a clear mind and super high confidence. M will mess up your mind and body, destabilize your hormon levels and there is no wonder if we don't develop beards and mustaches even after we have finished our teen ages. My body remained teenish even at 22, I think this is the reason. We lose or underproduce a lot of testosterone by exhausting our reproductive system that our body donot get enough to develop muscles or even for getting motivated. When it combines with P, we become worse than animals. Testosterone is essential for confidence, motivation, etc, etc.. I see a lot of changes in my confidence level and social skills after just 3 months of nofap. Previously, I always had wanted to disappear in the society. I didn't take any leadership role in university. I always kept hiding. My insecurity levels were so high. I believe it has changed a lot and I hope and pray that I can continue progressing...

Please don't get your hands below your waist level. keep it high. It's worth much more than that. That's the rule I followed. If you have righteous family members who have died, our aqeedah is that our deeds are presented to them...Imagine them seeing us in this kind of filth.. Just think of it, if we are not bashful of Allah, the most pure.
BEAT YOURSELF UP ONCE IN A WHILE
And please be more serious guys... You should beat yourself up once in a while(not always) if you relapse frequently. Get as much regret and sadness as possible. Have as much contempt as you can for yourselves. Just to remember later about the feeling when you feel like relapsing next time. It is not enough to relapse, pray two rakaah salaatutawba and begin the next streak. He azza wa Jal asked us to do taubatannasuhah- the sincere repentence. If we think about it, the real sign of acceptance of our taubah will be our inability to go back to that sin. Allah SWT is Arrahman, he may forgive us. But think about our audacity to disobey him, while he has provided everything for us and we don't have anything that belongs to us. Think about it, we don't posses even our 'self's. We belong to him totally.
STOP GIVING EXCUSES, TAKE ADVICE
We need to give our full effort and stop giving excuses. Take advise from those who have gone through the journey, from experts. Because, this is not just a spiritual issue. This is a disease that has affected our brains. To de-addict and normalize our brain, we need to follow certain medications. This group's motive was to build habits- one of the medicines in the list. Build habits to change your life around, to be more productive, to be more pious.

IF YOU FEEL SO CAUGHT UP
Something that worked for me was that, on the day of Arafah, I went to Masjid before Fajr and spen my entire day there until Ishaa'. Fasted on that day. And kept asking Allah about mostly just one thing- just purify me and get me out of this mess. I found nofap very soon after and began my streak. If you feel so caught up in this, just do that. Go to a masjid and stay there for a day doing ahdkaar, reading Qur'an and praying nawafil and ask Allah.

 

Fwd from https://www.wattpad.com/145988292-stories-of-tawbah-repentence-the-accepted

Do not prefer my Fire over my Light, and do not be deceived by what you own in this world, for what you own is preventing you from getting what is saved for you in the afterlife. True, what you have might have been called a kingdom, had it not been for the fact that it will all soon perish. And your life might have been called a life of happiness and joy, had it not been for the fact that it will be followed by anxiety and misery. So beware of falling under the spell of these worldly ornaments, or you will join the ranks of the destroyed ones.

وَسَارِعُوا إِلَى مَغْفِرَةٍ مِنْ رَبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا السَّمَاوَاتُ وَالْأَرْضُ أُعِدَّتْ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ

And march forth in the way [which leads to] forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for al-muttaqoon.[Aal-Imraan : 133]

 

There is no time we are unworthy to call upon Allah, my friend... Say: "O my Servants who
Have transgressed against their souls
Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Az-Zumar-53)

"And when My servants ask you, concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided. (Al-Baqarah 186)

Day 75 .. Alhamdulillah.. Years after keeping the app called 'Goalist' in my handphone, started using it. It certainly helps to structure our time and cut out useless activities. Plan your days, guys. If we keep ourselves busy with the things we should do, we can overcome the temptation, in shaa Allah.

Some of us have bad thoughts coming from no where that make us relapse. This paper by yaqeen institute gives some really practical insights into meditation in an Islamic way. Meditating regularly would help us let the unwanted thoughts pass.

https://yaqeeninstitute.org/en/justin-parrott/how-to-be-a-mindful-muslim-an-exercise-in-islamic-meditation/

It's really important to learn to let the thoughts pass. During Nofap, we have to start living a normal life- it should be the beginning. For doing that we shouldn't dwell on it all the time. This was a mistake I committed in the past. Set a time to look up Nofap.com or look it up when you get an urge. Otherwise, live your life normally without giving much thought to PMO. Pretend that it didn't exist in your life or you are free from it. Such affirmations will certainly encourage us to get rid of it, I believe. We have to be cautious. But Fake it until you make it. That will help our subconscious to imbibe the idea quicker and probably help the healing process better.

 

THE REAL KEY TO SUCCESS IN NOFAP FROM A MUSLIM PERSPECTIVE...

We as Muslims have a lot of tools and opportunity to be successful in our Nofap journey than anybody else. But are we utilizing them?

If we want to succeed in Nofap, we need to put in effort- Real effort. NOT MENTAL EFFORT. But effort through actions. When Maryam (Salaamun Alayha) was in dire pain, tired and exhausted with her carrying a child, what did Allah tell her? But he called her from below her, "Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream. And shake toward you the trunk of the palm tree; it will drop upon you ripe, fresh dates." (Maryam 24-25). Allah Azza wa Jal could have given her the dates in front of her like he provided her out-of-season fruits in her chamber. But he didn't. He asked her to move and shake the palm tree. She was in pain. But she was in the middle of a trial.
We may be tired or exhausted or it may not be convenient or comfortable for us to put action for Allah. But are we ready to do it anyway for the sake of Allah? Then his help will come for sure, in shaa Allah.

What do I mean by effort or action?
It is something that we can experience by our senses. Something we do with our limbs. We have to sacrifice our comfort to do that. Somethings that we don't do normally, but we have do them with the intention to recieve Allah's help in this matter of Nofap.
That effort should come with sacrifice. Only then we will be able to see stable results. Whenever we give up that effort or action, we will fail. (May Allah protect us from that). Ask anyone who is successful for a long time in Nofap, all of them will have something that they do or did constantly daily during their long streak. Whenever they abandoned their particular actions, they might have failed as well. (I failed previously because of that).

This can be special naafil prayers you do. Or ii'tikaf in the masjid or you walking to a masjid which is a bit far from your home or you spend time to memorise Qur'an -anything that requires considerable sacrifice from your part DAILY.

SACRIFICE
Sacrifice is required in terms of time, energy and even money if you can.
I would suggest to kick start such a daily activity with something that is big. Like spending a day and night in the masjid making dua and doing voluntary prayers. Or if you can go for Umrah, do that. Or fast for a few days and ask Allah everyday of your fasting to help you get rid of this habit. But even if you can't do that, start today- Make some effort daily with the intention of Allah's help and never leave it for long time.

If you can add this with other actions that will help you spend your time well, then it will be a perfect combination for you to say good bye to your PMO habit.

But the key thing is effort, sacrifice and Istiqamah (steadfastness) from our part.

May Allah help us all in this..
“Man taraka shaian lillah, 'awwadhahullah khairan minhu” Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will substitute him with something better.

 

The Extra Things You Should Avoid
The fight will become easier as time passes, in shaa Allah. If anyone does not know, let me make clear the Things You Should Avoid other than watching P or doing M or other triggers:
1. Fantasizing- This is obvious. But I'm reiterating because of its gravity. This is infinitely important if you are serious in your nofap journey. No compromise in that. If you allow yourself to fantasize, failure is on the way. Keep your mind free from all such things. Whenever somethings come up, Seek refuge in Allah from Shaythaan and the evil of your own nafs. Move on to another thought.
2. Excessive Youtube, Facebook, instagram, browsing : If you can avoid them altogether for a while, that would be the best.( Remember Sacrifice). If you do, then limit them to Islamic lectures or academic stuff. I think even news or comedy shouldn't be consumed for a while giving our brain to heal.
3. Free time : If you see that you will get free time ahead, plan something for that time. Don't leave time unplanned.
4. Miss Obligatory Prayers: You miss them, shaythaan has got another prey in you. If you look carefully, you can see that you relapse mostly when you delay your prayers. There will be a surge of temptations when you delay your prayers. Didn't Allah say:
(29:45) اتْلُ مَا أُوحِيَ إِلَيْكَ مِنَ الْكِتَابِ وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ ۖ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ ۗ وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ
"Recite what is sent of the Book by inspiration to thee, and establish regular Prayer: for Prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds; and remembrance of Allah is the greatest (thing in life) without doubt. And Allah knows the (deeds) that ye do."
Pray as soon as the adhan is given or when you know it's time for prayer. If you are not a person who is consistent, try harder to pray more times in a day until you succeed in praying 5 times.
May Allah help us all in this..
“Man taraka shaian lillah, 'awwadhahullah khairan minhu” Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will substitute him with something better.

 

A verse that caught me today :
أَمْ حَسِبَ الَّذِينَ اجْتَرَحُوا السَّيِّئَاتِ أَن نَّجْعَلَهُمْ كَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ سَوَاءً مَّحْيَاهُمْ وَمَمَاتُهُمْ سَاءَ مَا يَحْكُمُونَ
Do those who commit evil deeds really think that We will deal with them in the same way as those who believe and do righteous deeds, that they will be alike in their living and their dying? How badly they judge! (Al-Jathiya 21)

We sometimes are under the delusion that if we do many ibaadaat, then our sayyiaat may not have any effect on our lives. But Allah clearly says that it will be different in 'living' and dying. Allahummaghfir.....

 

We should pray in the masjid if we have a masjid nearby. If we aren't used to, then we should try our best to change that. Majority of the scholars say that it is obligatory upon Muslim males to perform their five times obligatory prayers in Masjid. I'm not eligible to give any fatwa, but I've heard and been taught so.
It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbas RA that:
The Prophet SAW said: "Whoever hears the call and does not come, his prayer is not valid, except for those who have an excuse." (Ibn Majah 793)
Nabi (SAW) didn't give concession even for Abdullah ibn Ummi Makthoom RA who was a blind sahabi. So how about us?
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: A blind man [Ibn Umm Maktoom] came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have no one to lead me to the mosque,” and he asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to grant him a concession allowing him to pray in his house, and he allowed him that. But when he turned away he said, “Can you hear the call to prayer?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then answer it.” According to a version narrated by Abu Dawood (552) and Ibn Maajah (792) he said: “I do not think there is any concession for you.”

And it will certainly help us to keep ourselves away from Fawaahish, in shaa Allah

 

I'm really focusing on memorizing Qur'an. I hope my heart will be opened to Qur'an. Whenever I get an urge, I remember the words of Imam Ash-Shafii : 'the reason why we forget is sinning. Because, knowledge is light and Allah's light will not come with a sinner. ' I'm a person who lived this fact. It had become hard for me to memorize or even remember what I had memorized. I had almost lost my confidence over it. Now, I'm slowly recovering from that stage I believe. Still struggling though..
It took me a while to train myself to control my gaze in real life. It has been going well for sometime now. I hope it will continue to be so.
I 've avoided every unreal, virtual and useless dopamine triggers : instagram, facebook,youtube, whatsapp,etc.. except for academic or spiritual content..What I've learned is that when we consume just what is necessary, our mind will become clearer for thinking and our speech more eloquent. As many people said, I have begun taking care of smaller things in life, having more determination and confidence in doing things. The art of defying our minds to a point of subjugating it to our goals and intentions is a tough one to learn. But I'm realizing that control slowly by slowly...

The biggest positive influence in nofap journey apart from Salaah, Qur'an and Dua , for me is time management. I'm a person who has a lot of family - responsibilities. So utilizing my time properly to learn more and do more without wasting it for useless things has certainly helped a lot. This app called 'Goalist' has become my companion in that regard. I'm still striving to achieve 100% productive day without wasting a single minute. But, I hope I can achieve that, in shaa Allah. I always used to pray for barakah in my time as I always had struggled to do all the things I'm required of doing without realizing that I've been doing it all wrong. The real key to barakah in anything is first of all, we make sure we do not use that resource for haram, and second being grateful for it by utilizing it without wasting it.

Mastering Meditation and mindfulness techniques is my next goal. even with little practise, I've learned that they have tremendous effects on our mind. I wonder why these are not taught in schools.
The productivity we can achieve from a clear mind is beyond anything we imagine. And that is exactly nofap will do, if we accompany it with meditation, dhikr, etc.

Nofap.com certainly has been a huge help. I could dissipate any urge by going there and forcing myself to read succes stroies and other content. That post by D.J. called 'In Case You Didn't Know' is like the preamble to the constitution of Nofap... Really really helpful. I would recommend that to anyone who is embarking on their Nofap journey.

Have firm belief in yourself while being conscious of your own weaknesses and flaws. We have to address our subconscious with affirmation in our abilities to break apart from this habit or do anything we want to accomplish. Any negative feeling will certainly decrease the strength of our resolution and eventually our commitment itself.

Another thing I've tried to do is to be more conscious in my prayers and stop rushing my prayers. For that, I've added more duas to rukoo' and sujood. People may look weird in masjid when they see that we take more time to pray. But that's ok. I've reduced that urge to satisfy people to look normal. I think, as people who are trying to get closer to Allah, with our hearts so timid and turbulent with the effects of PMO, we should make sure that we ask : 'Allahumma yaa muqallibal Quloob, Thabbit Qalbee alaa deenik. Allahumma yaa Musarrifal Quloob, Sarrif Qalbee alaa Taa'atik"(O Allah, Turner of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your deen. O Allah! Controller of the hearts, direct our hearts to Your obedience) in every single one of our sujood, atleast while praying alone, as we may not be able to do that while praying in jamaa'ah.(We can still break it down into two for two sajdahs).
I hope and pray that we all can get out of this mess forever. I sincerely pray that our current streaks be our last and final extending until our deaths...

 

Thanks. Hope you can do the same.

1. Allah do not require perfection from any human being. Perfection is only for Allah. The best stage a human being can achieve is excellence(Ihsan), which is considered as the third most important component in Islam. It is achieved only by a very few among the people.

2. No one (even the prophets or messengers) gets to paradise except through the mercy (Rahmah) of Allah. This is our belief. At the end of the day, he is the most Just as well as the most merciful. We hope and pray that we face his mercy rather than justice.

 

Wa Alaikkumussalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh...

 

It's certainly possible for anyone my dear brother. Give your best try and seek help- first from God and then from the people.

 

Wa Alaikkumussalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh... Certainly there are considerable improvements in social skills. I can make conversations without thinking a lot. There is significant increase in self-confidence as well. I can think clearer and and my mind has acquired much more calmness.. I'm not sure about any date or such, but it came in between. Just keep on and go forward. I hope and pray that we all can throw this garbage out of our lives..

 

Happy to hear that.. These are motivations I used myself during my streak. Will update as I go forward, in shaa Allah. Wish you all the best in your journey brother.. May Allah purify us all.. Aameen..

 

1. Because he understands his creation and he didn't create them to be perfect in every aspect of their lives.(He himself says :"And Allah wants to lighten for you [your difficulties]; and man was created weak."[Qur'an 4:28]) That imperfection is part of their test in this life. They should try for excellence. The messengers of God are the best human beings who walked the earth- but even they made minor mistakes. In reality we believe Allah look towards the PURSUIT of excellence and rewards us based on our pursuit- not the results of it in this world. How sincere is the pursuit? That is what matters the most.
2. Justice will be enacted in affairs among his creations. If someone oppresses another, the oppressor will have to deal with the punishment for his oppression in the hereafter, if the oppressed is not ready to pardon him. Only the one who was wronged can pardon the one who wronged. There will be retribution for every wrong committed by every single one of his creations towards another.
His mercy is concerned with affairs between him and his creation directly. Like to those who fell short in worshiping him, or did things that he forbade, those who sinned without harming others in the process, or those who transgressed the limits out of ignorance or compulsion, etc. That's his perfect balance between mercy and justice.