18yo new Christian Fapstronaut who is trying real hard to quit PMO

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by mellifluousdude, Nov 12, 2018.

  1. mellifluousdude

    mellifluousdude New Fapstronaut

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    When i was 8(4th grade) a guy in my class told me that he saw a picture of a woman drinking piss of a man(it was Oral sex), I did not understand and i was really confused. He asked me to Browse the F-word on the internet. I did that and that was the first time i saw an explicit image like that, I was really grossed out and didn't use the computer for a long time. A few years later i started going through women magazines in order to see the ads of women wearing inner-wears. I started doing that on a regular basis and discussed that with my friends. My friends introduced me to the world of Porn at the age of 12.

    Soon i started Mastrubation once or twice a week. I knew it was wrong but i did it anyway. It was On and Off for a few years. Once i turned 15 my libido was very high and i started PMO more frequently. I stopped for a while when i turned 16 when i got a Girlfriend. I stopped because i got more attached to the word of god and i thought that it is wrong to cheat on my girlfriend with Porn. Then i started Masturbating without watching Porn. I started having sexual fantasies and wet dreams about my Girlfriend. I thought it was okay to Masturbate while thinking about her because it didn't amount to Adultery as i had every intention of marrying my Girlfriend then.

    We broke up once we joined different colleges , we broke up because i thought that the relationship would not workout as both of us are from different communities and different Religions. The Breakup Made me go back to Watching Porn and excessive masturbation. I couldn't control my feeling and i had failed miserably at Nofap multiple times. I was driven by Lustful thoughts and fantasies. I started fantasizing about the girls i met in my daily life. That's when i realized that i had to stop PMO once and for all... The only solution that came to my Mind was Getting into a Relationship (Because the last time i was in a relationship was the time i masturbated the least). I texted my Ex and we got back together , But things didn't go as i thought it would. I didn't feel guilty about PMO even though i was in a relationship

    I turned 18, i texted my GF whenever i felt horny and surprisingly she replied to my Horny texts. This became a thing ,and a few months later we had sex. I text her every now and then and most of the time we talked about having sex . All this while I continued with PMO . Now i'm tired of this and i don't want my life to revolve around sex, I have Lustful thoughts many times a day and i think of sex a LOT!

    Now I'm suffering from depression , Low self esteem, Lack of confidence and other Physical Problems. I wanna change, I wanna be normal... Though i've failed at Nofap several times i'm not gonna Quit !
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2018
    Contentful T likes this.
  2. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

  3. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

    Can I ask if you are into any Christian metalcore?
     
  4. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

  5. mellifluousdude

    mellifluousdude New Fapstronaut

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    I just heard one now from the links you've sent me.. it's really good...I like it.
     
  6. Blackberrybush

    Blackberrybush Fapstronaut

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    Lust is a form of demonic oppression. It makes you unsatisfied with the real life God blesses you with because you want fantasy life! What started out as lust has now morphed into depression. If you had not stopped, you would notice the rest of the seven sins manifesting. The demons bring you to a point where you want to take your own life! That is what they want, they want to bring as many people to hell as possible. You have to cast your burdens to God, put on your armor, and use your faith in Jesus Christ to fight these demons! “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). It is spiritual warfare my brother and you cannot go at it without God. Remember we are members of Christ and never shall our members be united with a prostitute (Cor 6:15). Our lives are meant for more than PMO. Seek Gods word during a tempting time and you will receive strength to keep resisting. We can do all things through Christ
     

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