19 Months clean

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by fercho29, Dec 14, 2016.

  1. Dear Fapstronauts:
    One more month went by and I am still solid with my reboot. I has a couple of challenges this past month, but stayed strong.
    Last week I faced a dangerous situation last week in the gym of a hotel, I was in a business trip just by myself (meaning no wife and alone in my room). I watched a guy working out ( i am bi) and he realized and approached me and started flirting. For 5 seconds all the fantasies of having sex with him came to my mind. But I stand on my feet, used some of the tools, and had the strength to "let this golden opportunity go" (this was what my brain was telling me).
    The most powerful tool I have is to question myself : "If you want to know if something is good or bad for you, you need to ask yourself tow simple questions: where will this lead me? And how it will leave me".
    Replying me these questions gave me the clarity of mind to leave the gym and contact my AP @goldstein (thank you again man) , because my heart was pounding and my legs were shaking. I engaged in a chat with him , went back to my room, took a cold shower and went to sleep. The danger was gone. One more battle won.
    Today I discussed this with Mark Queppet and @alexander during the NoFap Academy weekly video call. Mark said: " the newcomers ask how long the reboot will take and when the PMO addiction will be part of the past. This example shows how is life after reboot. We will keep having urges sometime, we will have fantasies and temptations because we are human beings. What we learn during reboot is to say no to practices that are not in agreement with which type of person we want to be. We may be tempted, but we learn how to say no. We learn that it is not worth it, and that we may face some uncomfort now, in order to keep having a great life in the future".
    I wanted to transmit this to all the NoFap community, we need to be prepared to keep fighting the addiction for good. It gets easier with time, because will power it is like a muscle: the more we exercise, the stronger it gets.
    On the other hand, I look back to the guy I was 19 months ago, and I realize how much I grew up. When I started the reboot process I thought that this was just about PMO, but this is really a journey of discovery, while we walk this path we learn, we grow, we change in ways we would never suspect.
    After 41 years of PMO addiction (plus hook ups and escort addiction) I can enjoy the benefits of a life PMO free: I feel happier and more free than never before in my life.
    Keep on fighting, the fight is long and hard, but it is worth it
    Fercho
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2016
  2. t.rapsfan

    t.rapsfan Fapstronaut

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    BOOM! 19 months! nice work man!!!
     
  3. damirios

    damirios Fapstronaut

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    Thank you @fercho29 for sharing again your success story!! i´m having strong urges and almost relapsed, but I came here and by accident saw your post. Now I´m going to sleep instead of PMO!
     
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  4. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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  5. h215

    h215 Fapstronaut

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    Wow bro! It was inspiring!

    Congratulation for your hard battle won.
     
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  6. goldstein

    goldstein Fapstronaut

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    I think that one of the most important things that we learn from this struggle is that you never stop learning. This journey is one of self-discovery and self-development. Sometimes i think that this addiction is a blessing that allow/oblige us to look for ways to improve ourselves, things that otherwise we would not know about. Happy to hear about another battle won.
     
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  7. Happy to have you as my AP @goldstein , you saved my life last Thursday big time.
    And you are right: even at 52 years old, this journey is an amazing way to rediscover myself. It is never too late to straighten our paths and live a better life
    Fercho
     
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  8. It is a pleasure @The Wizard , I hope this can help your own reboot.
    I like a lot the footer in your profile. Can I post it in my "Emergency Toolbox" post? This is a bunch of inspirational readings I have complied during my reboot, which I read when I have an urge and help me remember why i am in this fight
    You can read some of them if you are interested. I will acknowledge that you wrote it, of course

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...t-320-days-of-reboot.62938/page-3#post-562878

    Thank you
    fercho
     
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  9. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Beautiful post! Thanks for sharing!
    This is a good one!


    I can't rely to the grewing up thing more.. I'm only 4 months in and in this 4 months i already grew more than in the last 4 years. I realize now what a little kid i still was back then(not in a good way).


    Stay strong! Have a nice day! :)
     
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  10. Ben W.

    Ben W. Fapstronaut

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    So inspiring @fercho29 . I had a relapse today but I got the same attitude to this as you. This is a journey that I've already begun and I'm not going back to start again just because I made a misstep today. I'm not going to be depressed because of this. This is a battle I probably have to fight until I die, but I will be stronger as the days goes by. Thank you for sharing your stories.
     
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  11. Thank you so much @t.rapsfan !!!
     
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  12. You are right @vibemaker , we stray in a teenager stage, jacking off like kids and hiding behind porn, instead of realizing that we are already grown up adults who needs to face problems .
    The good thing is that it is never too late, although I am 52 and spent 41 years of my life in PMO, I am glad I could rehab so I can live a better life for the rest of my existence in earth
     
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  13. That is so god @damirios , instead of MO like a monkey, it is good to come to this site and read some posts looking for inspiration
     
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  14. I have fought so many of these during my last 19 months of reboot. And still fighting at least one of this per week.
    I got yesterday a big urge with a young gardener who was working in my community yesterday. I approached him to make some conversation with any excuse, because I found him handsome. He was all smiles and I got an instant crush. My mind started building a fantasy ( like a porn scene inside my brain), which was always how I started the path downward and ended up in PMO in the past. My brain started entering in this "foggy autopilot mode". It took me 1-2 minutes to recognize what was going on, and started using my "emergency tools" to get out from the foggy zone". The most useful is to ask myself: " If I relapse or have a real sex story with this guy: Where will this lead me? And how it will leave me?". For some reasons these are very powerful questions for me, because I replace all the "golden fantasy of sex" with the harsh reality: I will end up being super depressed, sad and with my self-esteem down on the floor.
    Anyway, what I wanted to say is that we need to be constantly alert and ready for a fast response. Shit happens around us all the time, and will keep happening. It is up to us the way how we respond to it. Either falling down and letting the shit driving us down, or staying on our feet, standing, resisting the negative forces, as real warriors.
    Keep on fighting
    Fercho
     
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  15. damirios

    damirios Fapstronaut

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    It´s good to hear @fercho29 , that you have build such a strong willpower !! Even people like you who are clean for so many days experience urges and I´ve read that there are many fapstronauts who relapsed after months or years and stay in that downward spiral.
    For me coping with the urges is the hardest part, to become aware when I go into autopilot and to act according to my higher intentions.

    What I would like to know, when you decided to quit PMO and the escorts, did you come clean the first time or did you have several relapses before that?
     
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  16. ndrew

    ndrew Guest

    Great story
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  17. Thank you very much @damirios
    I was lucky, it was my first attempt using NoFap
    O tried several times whenI was a teenager but failed
    This time I was so desespérate to stop the downward spiral of my life that I could resist all the dark forces that wanted to get me back to PMO
    First two months were hard , I suffered a lot and had terrible withdrawal symptoms , had painful blue ball ache and my mood was like a roler coaster . One moment I was super excited and next one wanted to punch somebody in the face
    One day I was in a business meeting with 20 people and started shouting somebody ( he screw up a big project , but nevertheless Inwas out of control)
    I realized I could not stop so I rush out to the restroom and started crying
    Fortunately things get better with time and endurance
    Will power is like a muscle: the more you train the strongest it gets
    The NoFap Academy e-course helped me build my will power stronger, they have several exercises to enhance it
    Happy Holidays
    Fercho
     
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  18. damirios

    damirios Fapstronaut

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    I´ve subscribed to the NFA. It is really helpful for me, thanks for recommending that.
    All my life I run away from discomfort and quitting PMO is really painful but that´s what I decided to do because I want to live a more awesome life. A life that is in alignment with my belief system.

    I wish you a merry christmas!!!
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  19. Hi @damirios that is the best gift you can give yourself this Xmas
     
    damirios likes this.
  20. Thank you @ndrew , Happy Holidays
     

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