19 y/o virgin.. and that's my fault

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by LionHart, May 7, 2017.

  1. LionHart

    LionHart Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, I just wanted tho share some thoughts with you about being a 19 y/o virgin.
    It's very symple : I think I'm just scared to do it. In the last years I've met some girls that I know for sure that they were interested in me, and with a good amount of effort I could probably get a GF, but that didn't happen...I just run away from every girl that showed any kind of interest, just avoiding to make the great step. That's ridicolous, because I definitevely want to kiss a girl, but on the other hand I'm just too scared to do it, because I've no experience at all, while every other guy/girl of my age certainly has.
    I should add that I've a little problem with my penis, but I know that it's not a big deal and it can be totally fixed.. but I'm afraid also of doing this. But maybe this is exactly why I'm afraid of having sex, so the first thing I should do is to resolve this issue first.
    Do you have ever had similar thoughts , or do you have any disfunctions of any kind that are holding you back from having sex? Please let me know your personal experience, I would really appreciate that ;)
     
    IamtheWalrus, iWILL123 and The Errol like this.
  2. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    This is really great to see you. ur 19yrs and ur reflected urself very well.
    u said ur afriad and scared . just one of PMO disadvantage.
     
    TheQuarrel likes this.
  3. Man I scared for the longest time to have my first kiss! I didn't kiss my current girlfriend (my first kiss) for 4 months after we started dating! I was scared too!

    She had kissed other guys, I didn't want to disappoint her...but man, if you find the right girl who is down for you as much as you are down for her, she won't care. If a girl is upset over something that trivial, she's not the one and it shouldn't matter :)

    Same thing happened the first time I was going to have sex...couldn't get it up, I was just too nervous! But the the same point stands. If they're the right one, they won't pressure you and they'll be understanding. If they aren't, they aren't the one worthy of you sharing such an intimate moment with.

    Hope this helped :)
     
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  4. LionHart

    LionHart Fapstronaut

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    You're certainly right bro...if she's really the right one she'll understand , it's that simple. You really helped me a lot , thanks :D

    It's actually a phimosis, but not a serious one, I've made researches and I know for sure that it can be fixed..I'm just scared that another man touches and examines my penis, lol it's so weird but I know that's their job. But I must do it, or I'll never be able to have sex ( having sex with a phimosis could be extremely dangerous, you don't wanna know the consequences...). I'll do it, I promise you ahah, otherwhise all my effort in doing the nofap challenge will be useless, because I really want to have a gf, not just for having sex, but for a personal spiritual growth that will be caused by this unique experience.
     
  5. TheQuarrel

    TheQuarrel Fapstronaut

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    Maybe no fapping is not the solution for you because it is not your main problem.
    You look a little a great person who is unsatisfied with himself... Before loving someone else, you should love and understand yourself, bro. I am sure that you have something about feel pride. Do not feel guilty about you have done: try to improve and do not fall again into the same problem.
    By the way, have you ever tried to solve your phimosis going to a doctor?
     
    LionHart likes this.
  6. IamtheWalrus

    IamtheWalrus Fapstronaut

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    Same here, and nothing is wrong with that. It's your body.
     
    TheQuarrel likes this.
  7. Please could someone like my post so I can modify my signature? Also great work so far everybody. Im going for a record of 27 days!
     
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  8. iWILL123

    iWILL123 Fapstronaut

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    Bro, I feel your pain. I am 18, and still a kissless virgin lol. Sometimes I just feel like a loser and I hate it. I, too, have experiences where I've been foolish enough to ignore the girl in front of me who clearly showed signs of wanting me, and I was a dumbass thinking I could get the hottest chick on the planet.
     
    LionHart likes this.
  9. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    I'm 18 and a virgin. My first kiss was when I turned 14 and it was a dare. I had my opportunity with a girl in the past, but I was scared and blew it. Honestly, I try not to focus on that stuff. Yes I'm a virgin. Yes I haven't had an actual kiss with a girl. I've acknowledged that and I rather have those experiences with someone who I care about and they care about me. Overall don't focus on that stuff until the time comes. Doesn't matter if you're 18, 19, 25, so on and so forth. Hang in there dude. You'll make it through.
     
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  10. LionHart

    LionHart Fapstronaut

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    You're perfectly right...I know I'm not satisfied with myself at all, and I don't even know why. I'm not a lazy person at all...I go well at University, do sport 3 times a week, read every day, go to the mountain, play the piano...but although all these things I do, I still can't be happy. I'm always upset and sometimes even depresses. Maybe I sould just need a GF who appreciates me for who I am. But as you said, before doing that I have to focus on myself, and the first step is to go to a doctor who can figure out a solution for my problem. That's my main goal right now ; I'll do it, and I'll let you guys now how it goes :)
    "The mark of a mature man is a certain scar he bears : the memory of a perfect woman never won, or of a once true love forever lost. However, much he may love you, he is only here because she is not"
    Bro, the mistakes we've made are part of our lives, they're like scars of a battle...but by learning from them, we can assure that these mistakes will never be repeated, and the next time we'll see a nice girl who shows interest for us, we'll never fall in the same trapp again. Let's do it together, I'm sure we can :)
     
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  11. LionHart

    LionHart Fapstronaut

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    Makes sense...ok, I definitevely won't rush it, it's just that I'm tired of being alone, I don't know how long I can go on living like this. But I totally agree with you : it does not matter the age when you do it, but only if she's the right one.
    Thank you guys, I really appreciate your comments and your support :)
     
    The Consigliere likes this.
  12. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    Believe me I've felt like I was alone and I really need a relationship. But for me I'm at a point in life where I'm fine being independent and not with someone. It's not like that for everyone though. But I do wish you the best of luck!
     
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  13. LionHart

    LionHart Fapstronaut

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    Damn I wish I could be independent like you ! I pretented to be strong and I tried to not give a F about nothing, but it didn't work for me...the truth is that I really need a girl, I've no other options available, because I've tried everything but I still can't be happy .
    Anyways thanks for your support!
    I'll made it through
     
  14. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    You have to learn to be happy with yourself first. I'm still working on that and knocking out the kinks of it. But I feel a lot happier with myself right now then I did a few months ago. And I've still been on NoFap on and off. But love yourself before you can love someone else.
     
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  15. LionHart

    LionHart Fapstronaut

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    Very well said bro...I'll go absolutely nowehere if I don't accept myself for who I am. But I'm having lots of troubles ..It's difficult to explain, I just don't know what to do...maybe I should talk about it with a psychologist, idk
     
  16. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    I second that. I lost mine at age 22, it still was earlier than necessary. Now I'm 27 and haven't had sex in three years, but apart from occasional yearning for intimacy it's not a big deal. Looking back, these three years have been extremely purifying.
     
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  17. TheQuarrel

    TheQuarrel Fapstronaut

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    Ok! Step by step. I am sure about you will improve your life.

    By the way, the last year I have had a GF for two months for feeling better (well, actually it was for her, but it doesn't matter) and it didn't work at all. It was quite artificial to have sex or even to talk with each other. Besides, after ending our relationship I felt so bad about her. Our toxic emotions (grudges, hatreds...) intermingled in a frightful way...
    Now that I feel better about that I opine that maybe a good relationship would be awesome. The problem is that, as the youth are, it is very difficult to find anything good...
    Besides, public psychologists don't help too much. I don't know much about private ones.
    Friends and family, in my opinion, are the best option to solve our personal problem. NoFap can be an alternative, though.

    Good luck!
     
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  18. Rimen85

    Rimen85 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, just wanted to say I'm on pretty much the same boat as you and you are not alone in this battle. We are both gonna get through this. Good luck and if you are looking to talk a little more about it don't hesitate to message me. We got this bro stay strong!
     
    LionHart likes this.
  19. chastedude

    chastedude Fapstronaut

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    I have an intense fear of being vulnerable, ending up with the wrong girl, low self-image. I've been working in these though. Glad I'm not the only one who experiences anxiety.
     

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