1st Date & I'm Nervous!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by MontStar48, Mar 8, 2017.

  1. MontStar48

    MontStar48 Fapstronaut

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    Jitters, Butterflies & Overthinking: Met this girl about a month ago on OKCupid :rolleyes: & I'm actually digging her! Of course she's beautiful, smart & has a sense of humor...

    But she's a bit reserved then the women I'm use to talking to. Usually I can turn my charm on & melt a girl out of her panties with a drink of course. But she seems distant & cautious, which I respect, but 4 weeks before our first date?

    Now that the moment is here, I'm PANICKING:eek:

    I stressed cause I want to make a great first impression. Overthinking has me worried & flustered!

    Advice is welcomed!?!?:oops::confused:o_O
     
    Bryaan, skeptical and LoyalKnight like this.
  2. rs25uk

    rs25uk Fapstronaut

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    Hey man! Good job on getting the date and I hope it goes well. I have some advice - divert your mind as much as possible! Stay busy, challenge your intellect, and starve your mind of the fuel it's using to create the panic and thoughts assessing risks etc. Study philosophy, play instruments, socialise, work out, watch films, write poems, do whatever but as long as it challenges your brain and ban all thoughts of her and the date completely! Like force yourself to do other tasks. Your brain will calm itself and you'll have a great time.

    Peace.
     
  3. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    Good luck man! Just be yourself! Fear and being nervous is normal. The only way to overcome this is to meet your biggest enemy in your face.

    Tell us how it went!
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  4. skeptical

    skeptical Fapstronaut

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    Oh boi :) what about treating her exactly as you treated the other ones you've been successful with?

    You better tell us how it went brother, I am excited for you :)
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  5. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    Good luck brother. As corny as it sounds, just chill and be you. If she don't enjoy that then she ain't the one. Simple as. Not being nervous on it's own scores you major points with chicks...even more than planning the date itself.
     
    Marka and MontStar48 like this.
  6. I was in a slightly similar situation recently. I met this great girl in real life last year, but she lived far away. I stayed in contact with her, and was due to meet up with her again, but I was really nervous. After a while I thought, you know what? Even if things don't go well, I'm glad I met her, and she's helped me to avoid PMO. That helped.

    In the end, it went well anyway lol.
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  7. MontStar48

    MontStar48 Fapstronaut

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    On my way to the date now, appreciate all the good positive feed back!

    I picked a little lowkey bar called the tiki lounge & will definitely give details on the date went!
     
  8. alphamale2003

    alphamale2003 Fapstronaut

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    Lets us know how it turns out man just relax and be yourself. You gonna Git you some I just feel it...
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  9. MontStar48

    MontStar48 Fapstronaut

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    Post Date:

    So the Tiki bar was closed & we ended up at a Cuban restaurant next door. I was 30 mins early, so I could have a pre drink to take the edge off :D (which didn't work)

    I asked the waitress what were the popular items & set up a 4 course meal to be brought out upon her arrival. We shared appetizers & a pitcher of sangria & the conversation flowed.. We both opened up about so past hurdles, shared a few laughs & awkward glances.. :)

    After dinner, we walked to her car, dropped off the leftovers & decided to take a bit of a walk around down town.. She told me about her trip to cuba & how she love to dance. And we shared a few more laughs..

    Walked her back to her car, waited for my lyft together & then I gave her a big hug & stole an unexpected kiss :eek:

    She giggled & called it sweet, but not quite sure how she felt about it. She text me later, letting me know she made it home safe & thanked me for dinner.

    I was not smoooth at all on this date lol, I stumbled over words & made little eye contact.. I even mentioned I had the jitters, which made her laugh lol..

    Not sure how the situation will progress, but seemed like a good 1st date lol..o_O
     
    LoyalKnight likes this.
  10. Accolade

    Accolade Fapstronaut

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    Hopefully next date is better. But it wasnt a bad first date. You need to look in her eyes bro. Really
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  11. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    When I read your date, it sounded like it you have done dates before, but no: That was your first date. Really well done though! I could not have it done better myself.
    It was a successful date, at least I'd consider it as one. You laughed together , had fun, hugged her and got a kiss from her.

    Really well done, brother. Keep us updated.

    I'll warn you though: I know lots of cases where people fantasized after their first date and PMO'd. So, stay safe all the time!
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  12. rs25uk

    rs25uk Fapstronaut

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    Well shit I think you shaved off some ring rust, good going bro. Hope you see each other again, if not, well I'm sure there will be others now you're back in the game.
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  13. alphamale2003

    alphamale2003 Fapstronaut

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    You did it 2nd date just relax. I can tell you like this girl.
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  14. NoneForMeThanks

    NoneForMeThanks Fapstronaut

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    with first dates, you gotta just let it happen. You are nervous because you have high expectations. let these go, and just let it flow.

    Worst Case Scenario: It train wrecks, you talk for an hour, you both want to leave, and you leave. You find someone else and try again....Okay!

    she is more nervous than you I guaruntee it. The more you force it, the worse it will be. You will do fine man.
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  15. MontStar48

    MontStar48 Fapstronaut

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    You're % Right!!!!

    I actually really like this girl, but I know this with clarity. I'm not thinking with my "2nd Head" so to speak & really just trying to connect & be real with her!

    As I replayed the date in my head yesterday, I realized not once did I check out her butt lol. & that's usually the first thing I look at!

    But something about her feels special & she does have my full attention..
     
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  16. MontStar48

    MontStar48 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the positive feed back bro, it wasn't thatbit was my first date. I usually do good with the ladies & average 2 dates a week lol (Not tooting my horn)

    But they were all empty relationships if even that. Most of my first dates, my objective was to end the date in me bed or hers & sometimes in the back of a car.

    So interacting witha female counter part on a intellectual level & not seeing her as a sexual object is part of my reasoning for the reboot. Being on day 17 now after I had last 43 days (which was my longest) the last stint!

    The nervousness of the first was more based on I actually want this girl to like me back, rather then if I don't get the panties I'm on to the next one or PMO'ing..

    Thanks for the good feed back & if interested, I'll keep you updated on howbit goes!
     
  17. MontStar48

    MontStar48 Fapstronaut

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    Yes my friend! I was thinking the same thing! But of course I had to over analyze it & overthink possible scenario lol.. For the 1st with clarity & think with my big had rather then my little big head I actually like a this woman.

    You're right, it was a great first date! She told me how much she enjoyed herself, plus she had recently took a trip to Cuba. So the Cuban restaurant was more of a good choice then I knew..

    The positive feed back is needed & appreciate you helping to look at it from a glass half full perspective..

    Thanks brother!
     
  18. rs25uk

    rs25uk Fapstronaut

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    Ahh ok I was thinking you were out of the game for a while. But I hear what you're saying, wanting to form a genuine connection. I can imagine that would be much more satisfying and rewarding. I'm not a ladies man as such but shit I don't want to be, just would like the emotional/intellectual bond myself so I can relate in that sense to what you're saying. I personally think you'll probably do even better with the ladies after, perhaps you'll find yourself gravitating more to a different sort of girl? Hope it goes well anyway man.

    Peace.
     
    MontStar48 likes this.
  19. What the hell is OKcupid? Internet dating these days...jeez...

    You might be nervous because you are rushing things? And how the hell do you date someone that is reserved and quiet? I would be bored out of my mind like wtf do I tell this girl.
     
  20. MontStar48

    MontStar48 Fapstronaut

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    She not quiet, just reserved & not boring at all.. A sweet heart thatis taking her time to get to know me.

    You're right, I maybe being over zealous cause she's such an amazing girl & I don't wanna mess things up or miss out on the opportunity.
     

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