I'm officially 2 years hard mode clean. I'm too tired to write a thorough review right now but I will make sure to do one later because hell, it was 2 incredibly hard, beautiful, atrocious, rewarding years, and I'm beyond bewildered that I'm still alive. I met the girl that made me start it all twice, I have too autographs from her, this year I kissed my first girl too, who happens to be Lana Del Rey whom I am an extreme fan of. I'm going to the gym, I'm working my ass off. NoFap doesn't cure mental illness. It doesn't cure depression. For me it cured no shit. But it tremendously helped. First because I've met some incredible souls here whose wisdom is still to this day taking me aback, and because it made me WANT TO IMPROVE. And to be a better person, the possibilities are endless. So yes, I STILL DO WANT TO WATCH PORN. I miss it. Every single day, I miss it. I get crazy aroused at the smallest glimpse of anything, when nothing calms me down only the memories I keep intact after two years do, I miss porn, I miss porn, I MISS PORN. the thing is, I've learned to live with it. I'm used to it. It sometimes hurt, even physically, but I don't do it. And I won't. Yes, sometimes I still do want to masturbate. And I have only one thing to say about this: I don't. You can ask all the questions you wish, I'll do my best to attempt to answer! And last thing: yes, I'm doing it 1000000000000% for religious reasons. It's sometimes fucking torture yo, especially when you're as mentally ill as me, but it's ok, I've done some fucked up shit and it's good repair. And very last thing: Mamie, you died on January 5th, 2014. In a few days, it will be two years. I miss you. Thank you for giving me the strength. I wouldn't be here without you. I'm proud.