1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

20 Days no MO, 2 month no P. PIED gone. Libido back, girlfiend very happy.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by BringMeToLife, Jul 27, 2018.

  1. BringMeToLife

    BringMeToLife Fapstronaut

    7
    9
    3
    Hi guys, i have to say that this is real, the benefits of abstaining from PMO, and regaining control of the body and mind are incredible. I have been doing PMO regularely for the last 6 years, even if i was always in a relationship. In my first one there was no PIED so i never tought about it as a bad thing, on the opposite, i thought that is helping me be better at sex, last longer etc. My nightmare started when i left my ex for my curent girlfiend. I quickly lost my libido due to many factors, anxiety started and i turned to P in order to get an erection. Sex with my gf was awful, no connection, I was put down by it and relied on P to get a full erection on my own. We stayed together and tried to overcome the past since we love each other. Our sex life improved, but i was still PMO and struggling with anxiety and depression.
    After i read about PIED and NOFAP about 2 months ago, i finally understood that i am not alone, that like me there are many of our generation, maybe even many of my friends yet is so shamefull in our society, worst than being a drug addict, to not be able to get it up. and nobody ever talk about it. This is something that makes you die inside. Getting rid of it is what brought me back to life. It is the best decision that one can make in order to improve their quality of life.

    Quickly after deciding to go hard mode for 30 days, i started feeling the benefits, in so many ways. Anxiety gone,pied gone, overall mood improved, energy boost, clearer toughts,confidence, impressivly frequent intimate moments with my gf in many with penetration,without O for me, but with many for her. She wants me more now, i want her more, we actually feel connected and i love being inside her.

    One problem is that 2 days ago, we had sex again, only that this time she pegged me while i was wearing a chastity cage. I allowed myself to go a bit crazy and i had about 3 prostate O... I feel slighltly anxious about it as having broke the rules, and she seemed a bit dissapointed as well or maybe i am just projecting my feelings onto her.

    If anyone has been thru something similar please let me know your thoughts. Is this a reset? Or maybe, since i am able to have pleasurable sex with her now i should keep out the PM,as i intend to do for a long time, and P for ever, but allow myself the O with her only.

    Thanks
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2018
    Lefty2, dboy18 and 28yrsold like this.
  2. Hi BringMeToLife,

    I wouldn't worry too much about having an O with your GF if you think that it won't cause you to PM. Personally, I am only doing PM myself. I know it has been said by others on here that it will delay the reboot or whatever but I think once P is eliminated for good and maybe at least a long break from M then that will make a huge positive difference to my life anyway. The important thing really is to not be too harsh on yourself here. If I can manage 20 days no MO and 2 months no P like you have done I would be very happy with my progress. Well done on your progress!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2018
    BringMeToLife likes this.
  3. BringMeToLife

    BringMeToLife Fapstronaut

    7
    9
    3
    Thank you for taking your time to answer.
    It is the first time in my whole 26 years when I went on for so long without O. I only realised now what was keeping me from being the best version of myself, from achieving, or even having goals. I was blind and now I see.
    I am determined to quit P for good, since I have a gf who could easily be a P star both by look and attitude.
    It was very frustrating to be with such a woman and not be able to get turned on by her very shortly after moving in together (10 days after we got together) in the begining i was very turned on by her,I just lacked initiative. All went downhill from there. Broken trust, addiction problems etc.

    Regarding the pegging subject, I have spoken to her about it, about how I feel. We got to the conclusion that we should not let it put us down. Instead of resetting, we will finish this 30 day challenge together, in order to increase intimacy and to take the mind away from focusing on the destination rather than the journey, she will abstain from O with me for the next 10 days. Then I will Make my decision about what to do next.
     
    dboy18 and The Passenger like this.
  4. Sounds like a great GF you have there. She seems very understanding of your situation and it's cool that she is taking up the challenge in solidarity with you. I don't mind taking longer to reset as long as P is gone so I will continue to have sex with my GF. We had some very good sex this evening and I feel closer to her without my head being messed up with P. She once said she would like to peg me but said she wouldn't as she thinks I wouldn't enjoy it. I think I would like her to do it but I am usually so dominant in bed with her so it would be a seismic shift for us in the bed.
     
  5. BringMeToLife

    BringMeToLife Fapstronaut

    7
    9
    3
    It all comes down to what anal experience you have. Allowing her to peg you does not automatically make you submissive,you can do it in a dominant manner.

    The best O of my entire life was achieved while rolling on molly, my ex pegged me but I was in control, I leaded the whole thing, she was a tool for my pleasure and God, there was a lot of pleasure. Mega O that build up over minutes and minutes and lasted longer than anything I ever experienced. That fucked my brain up as it pushed my known limits further than I could have ever dreamed. Dominant women enjoy having their sweet spots stimulated by a penis, they enjoy what their anatomy has to offer while still being dominant. A man can do the same once he takes some pre conceptions out of his head. It is mind-blowing to have discovered this kind of pleasure, and I am happy that not only women can get that sort of intensity,fair game mother nature. However upon discovery o the holy grail of O's I had many struggles and battles with myself, lost interest in the "traditional" thing, turned to porn to chase that memory... It all spiraled down to rock-bottom.

    I am a lot better now, wiser and with alot more knowledge, so all the bad for the.best i guess. I have hope for the future and I am sure that I will beat my demons, now that I now what I am battling against.

    If you ever try pegging, go slow, train yourself, inform and relax, you might be surprised to find out how it is like to feel a bomb of pleasure exploding from within you into your whole body, something that most of men have never experienced.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2018
    The Passenger likes this.
  6. BringMeToLife

    BringMeToLife Fapstronaut

    7
    9
    3
    Yes, she is great. Better than I could have ever hoped for. We had some really hard times but she sticked with me. I feel like the past is in the past now and we are a lot happier and ready to fully enjoy each other.
     
    The Passenger likes this.
  7. I think it is more to do with hang ups that I may have in how I view myself as a person. I'm ok with who I am now and that my moods/turn ons keep changing and I'm pretty sure it will be ok if we decide to do that. I told her I was bi-sexual early in our relationship after I had a few drinks. She was ok with it but seems to be under the impression that that makes me feel unfulfilled in our relationship which is anything but the truth.

    "Yes, she is great. Better than I could have ever hoped for. We had some really hard times but she sticked with me. I feel like the past is in the past now and we are a lot happier and ready to fully enjoy each other."

    --I'm happy that things are going so well for you. Hope everything works out for the best for you and your GF.
     
  8. BringMeToLife

    BringMeToLife Fapstronaut

    7
    9
    3
    Good luck with everything, life will get better, once we take control of it, and stop harming ourselves and the ones we love with our probelmatic behaviour. I noticed that i am alot more active since i stoped faping to P. Since i remember myself having a computer and internet connection i was always lazy, demotivated, abused many substances, gambled, partied and fapped alot to internet P. Now that i don`t put so much energy into fapping i actually want to do things, i have the energy and the will, the voice in my head that before was talking me out of doing anything is now talking to me differently, motivating me instead of pushing me more into the darkness and loneliness. I am finally reaching that balance and peace that i always seeked in my life, but i was focusing on the wrong things every time i had some free time instead of taking control of my life i allowed P to take control of myself.

    I want to see that badge of yours showing more and more days. You can do this. You are strong, you can do anything!
    You will soon see the benefits and it will make you feel on top of the world.

    P.S This is the first time i ever try this challange, but because of the PIED and the way it affected me, i am determined to stay away from anything that can make me lose my most precious atribbute (my mind) ever again.

    I am not sure what your situation is, what are you struggling with but if you feel that you want to speak, i am here to listen.
     
    The Passenger likes this.
  9. lifetimehighline31

    lifetimehighline31 Fapstronaut

    10
    5
    3
    I’m on a similar journey but just one week in. No PM, only seeking O with my lady. One week in so far, my lady and I had sex and I almost O’d. Closest I feel like I’ve been in nearly 10 years to O with sex.

    Hoping 2 more weeks of abstaining from P and M will allow me to O naturally. Porn really messed us up, huh?
     
  10. Amen to that brother. Thank you for the support. I too am here to listen to you if you want. I suppose that's what this place is all about, finding and giving each other support.

    My struggle I suppose is wasting a lot of time watching porn and being unmotivated. I feel it has made me more disconnected from my GF. I had always associated my struggles with sexual behaviour in general and not with porn. I used to quite often in the same day PMO in the morning, MO later, have sex/bj with GF and then maybe another PMO. I thought I was a sex addict. Seeking out information to try and help myself I have come to the conclusion that Porn has over sexed me to the point were I would be horny all the time. I used to get constant erections throughout the day and my mind would be constantly thinking arousing thoughts and every woman I looked at I used to wonder what it would be like to have sex with her, what her kinks are etc. I used to get through some days without PMO by MOing first thing in the morning, but if I was at home during the day I would PMO anyway and the day would be gone and I would feel jaded and ashamed that I wasted the day and also at some of the stuff I started watching.

    My longest streak of no PM is ten days and I felt great, remembering that feeling I had helps motivate me to get back there again. People worry a lot about their bodies and physical health but the health of the mind is often neglected. There are so many young men committing suicide and engaging in problematic sexual behaviour that I often wonder if porn is a contributing factor. I mean, there has to be so many men out there negatively affected by porn who don't find support or understand what is happening to them.

    When you and the GF reach your goals don't take your eye off the ball. I have read stories from others on here who thought after a year of no PMO/PM that they were all good but slipped. I let my guard down after my ten day streak, it can happen.

    Here is a link you might be interested in if one of your goals is semen retention: https://www.menprovement.com/multi-orgasmic-man/ . He talks about how to have multiple orgasms without cumming.
     
  11. Well done on the progress. Porn certainly has messed us up, and as this site proves, it has messed up a lot of us.

    I am also only doing no PM with only O with my lady. I think it is important not to rush things. Before, some time last year, I completely gave up P for a few days and it caused me problems. It was after a week or so of PMOing really hard and I struggled to get a hard erection. I was able to do the business but it was not very pleasurable for me and I was paranoid afterwards that my GF wasn't satisfied. I started watching P again regularly because of it, to keep myself "sexed". I didn't have the patience then for things to work themselves out.
     
  12. BringMeToLife

    BringMeToLife Fapstronaut

    7
    9
    3
    Porn does really mess us up!!! Good luck on your journey to a healthy satisfiyng life!

    Here is a link you might be interested in if one of your goals is semen retention: https://www.menprovement.com/multi-orgasmic-man/ . He talks about how to have multiple orgasms without cumming.

    Thanks man, i read something about it before but i had no patience to read it because i had to fap to P.
    Actually that is amazing, i reached that point of having multiple O without ejaculation and it is a real thing. I will keep practicing it, since most of the time when i have sex i don`t want to cum because i just want to make her go crazy over and over. Having this kind of control over the own body and mind is fantastic. Still get alot of pleasure from it tho`. It does make you feel like a god once you master it. Especially when your girl call you that way while moaning in pleasure.

    How old are you ? You sound like me when i was younger and with less responsibilty and stress to cut my libido. I was able to PMO and still have satisfiying sex every day, like a crazy.
    Try putting the energy that you used to put into faping, into your relationship, explore your girfriend`s kinks as well as your own rather than wondering about strangers. Have and your girl ever considered involiving a third person into your sex life? Anything that can make your real sex life more appealing than PMO is wellcome. Open to your girl, take her on to your journey with you.

    Try abstaining from O for a while, get her to do the same. You will feel a different kind of sexual tension between you as time goes without O. It will make you connect emotionally since you won`t be able to have hard sex after a while without O. Instead it will be intense on every move, no matter how slow, every hug while inside her will fill you with pleasure, whith every thrust you fill her with your love, your body and soul it is there with her and so you connect. It makes you feel strong, it makes her see you stronger, since she knows how hard it is to abstain from such pleasure.
    At the end of this, you will be able to have hard sex with her while being connected as one, rather than pounding at her while thinking of P. My girl is also into Hard sex and bdsm, yet she loved the way sex felt on the other side of the spectrum, claiming she never felt anything like it before.

    Abstaining from PMO is great, i feel a lot better, even if with ups and downs, some good days, some bad days.
    On our last day off we have been camping for the fist time. Just me and her, overnight. Bought a tend, hammock and all the necesary and went on the lake. It was great. It was brought up before, when i was still struggling, but i would have not done it because of the anxiety. Big big change!

    I am happy to see your badge showing 9. Break that record and keep going. Be proud of yourself, you are on the right path.
     
  13. Good stuff man. Yeah, we are going to do a bit of sex shop shopping soon. For such a dominant personality she is quite shy and submissive in bed. I am 28. I have a strong heart which helps but I know I won't be young forever.

    We would never involve others in our sex lives, she would not have it and I wouldn't either if I am being honest. I want to try that multiple O without cumming, just need to start training it ha.

    I have been thinking along the same path as you I think, the other night I wanted to last longer so It was real slow and intense. Not usually her bag but she seemed to really enjoy it. Also the kissing and hugging on the couch without expectation makes for good bonding too for us.

    I am happy that things are working out for you so well. I have to agree that I am also experiencing the ups and downs, but keeping things in perspective things are way better than they used to be. That is all the motivation I need right now to keep going. Yes, this path also helps big time with the anxiety too. Keep it going brother BringMeToLife. I am sure we could have some fantastic conversations over a few beers or 20.
     

Share This Page