20 year old man, hates fapping

Hello everybody! I have problem with fapping. And i hate it :\

I've just found this site i thought it could be helpful. I think my story could be quite interesting.

I have a friend. I fell in love with her. But she has a boyfriend, however, somehow she fell in love with me either. In the beginning i was so excited, i didn't want to fap. It started in June, and lasted 3 months. I was so prod, that I didn't have to fap anymore. Our relationship moved on, and we touched each other. I gave her orgasms 4 times with my fingers, however she've never did the same to me. It was hard, because I was very sexually excited, and after all that i couldn't think about anything else than masturbating. I survived 1 week, thinking only about it. Still i don't know how I did stand it. Now I masturbate 1-2 times per day.