200+ women in 4 years, my sex addiction story.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Bob8, Mar 9, 2021.

  1. Bob8

    Bob8 Fapstronaut

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    I started viewing pornography at the early age of 12, it was the age that our family had bought a computer for the house, very slow dial-up internet, but everything was out there, no age restricted blocks on the internet, it was all available, and i searched for most of it, pictures, videos, downloading whole movies from torrents (this used to take 10+ hours, sometimes a whole day to finish) but even more exciting when it had completed.

    All throughout my teens i was spending hours a day viewing these videos and images, and was edging from the age of 15/16 when broadband and the ability to surf and download quickly through the internet was available.

    I was a shy teenager, and never had any luck with girls at school or college, even though i had some interest during these times from various girls, i never pursued it and remained a virgin until 20 due to my lack of confidence in myself and insecurities about my physique. I eventually lost it to my first girlfriend,

    It ended up becoming a long-term relationship all throughout my 20's which ended after 7-8 years due to my absence with work and other complications. After the split, and taking a month to recover from the breakup, i decided to sign up on dating apps as my friends suggested i should do to move on and get over the situation, Tinder, POF etc etc,

    During this time i was travelling across the world with work, and was changing countries every week or so, i started engaging in these dating apps to meet new people, and to experience one night stands (which i had never done, i only had sex with one person, and that was my ex)

    I found myself meeting at least 2-4 girls a week on average (either at bars spontaneously or through Tinder) and most of the time they were up for having sex on first meeting, which seemed crazy, but worked great for me as i was only in that city for a day or two, it became like a sport, and my week didn't feel complete if i hadn't had sex with a few strangers, its like i constantly needed this validation that girls were sexually attracted to me.

    It came to a point where i was sure it would be out of my system and that i would no longer need this endless chain of fuck sessions, because may i add, they weren't always full of joy, 80 percent of the time i couldn't even finish due to my sensitivity being killed by my brain on porn, i could go for a long time, but never reach O.

    When covid happened this all ended, i could no longer travel with my job and no longer sleep with all these different women, and for that i am thankful, because i have had so much time to reflect on myself, my porn addiction, my sex addiction, and why i constantly need it to boost my ego, or my dopamine.

    I'm currently on day 17 and feel so strong that i will NEVER return to my old ways of porn addiction and sex addiction, i'm happier, more focussed, and no longer feel like a slave to porn and sex, i have found someone that i feel is the person i want to have sex with for the rest of my life - so i want to thank this community and the helpful things i've read and the helpful people that don't judge and offer great advice.

    I would love to hear from people that have gone through a similar situation as this, and what they have taken from it and what they have learnt about themselves.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2021
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  2. Jamex

    Jamex Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing your story
     
    Bob8 likes this.
  3. Jamex

    Jamex Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for Sharing your story
     
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  4. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    Wow. I dont share the common view here that casual sex is a terrible thing, I dont think it is. And as someone who went to bars 3/4 timews a week, every week, from ages 20 - 40, pretty much looking for some kind of "action" every time, and failing, every time (like literally EVERY time, not one ONS) I wouldnt be feeling so bad in your shoes.
    Yes you were looking for validation, but you got it, hundreds of times. Id take that over constant rejection any day.
    Hundreds of girls wanted to jump in bed with you.
    Id say youre a very lucky guy!
     
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  5. Mr Anderson

    Mr Anderson Fapstronaut

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    congrats on your new life style it's worth it, I used to have casual sex not with as many girls as you did but yeah and there was a point in where it turned into something I needed just to boost my self steem and ego, they were no longer women they started to be trophies for me. As time went through I started to become conscious of what I was doing and felt bad about it so whenever a girl approached me I would just try to make her go away because I was sure that in the end I was going to hurt her and use her for sex it was like an addiction. So I met a girl who is my wife today tried to push her away but couldn't lol she's so stubborn and ended falling in love with her, my old days of sex addiction came to an end but beware because it may spike if you let it in the future. I've been through some parts of my life when I sometimes miss going out and having sex just for fun, don't know sometimes I feel like I need that adrenaline or dopamine hit in my system, feeling like I would love to go hunting again and I have to fight those urges, one time there was this girl that started texting with me and tried to have sex with me, I broke that down in time didn't do anything but she became mad at me for not doing anything with her and came to my wife and told her many things even lies about us and that almost broke our relation but it's a fact that I was somewhat responsible about it for being weak about my old addiction.
     
  6. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    OP are you Brad Pitt by any chance?
     
  7. well done and keep going u are doing so good me 17 years just addicted to porn for 2/3 years and masturbating both things killed my life,success,energy,libido,love and more things that makes us bette ron life i will never come back to porn again i wish u come with us u have a mountain of hard things in front ur self u should with us come and we go through the mountain and we will be real humans in the end
     
    Bob8 likes this.
  8. Bob8

    Bob8 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear you didn't have much luck with this, but let me be honest, it doesn't bring lasting happiness - you can feel amazing for hours and be on this incredible high after you have pulled / seduced a woman and then had sex with her, you can feel on top of the world, the boost is right up there... but, it doesn't last long, and it can drop you harder the next day or two.. because yet again you are back to being alone, and in pursuit of that next hit (i see it similar to something like cocaine perhaps? you take the drug, you feel incredible, it ends, and then you feel terrible)

    I do feel like i've had some great experiences and made some interesting memories, but, its not something that is mentally healthy (or physically if you arent careful) for anyone to be addicted to doing.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2021
  9. TrueSaiyan2.0

    TrueSaiyan2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Not to bash you or rude man but you honestly need sexual validation????? I would be flabbergasted if a woman even came up to me at work and started a conversation which doesn't happen. Tinder is a piece of crap app to me.. Honestly I've been trying around my area and I'm getting the one message responses which really upsets me. I open up conversations to so I don't know how I'm failing or if they chatted up another guy which I'm assuming. A woman that was an accountant sent me a GIF "hey" still nothing back from her. Her photo's seemed realistic unlike other woman who just post vacations and doing shots.
     
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  10. Bob8

    Bob8 Fapstronaut

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    I didn't take it as a bash mate - i just felt like thats what i was seeking out, by acting in this way over and over again to something that didn't bring me pure happiness, it was like being stuck in a constant loop of getting that dopamine hit, validation, and ego boost.

    I spent a lot of my adult life being sexual with only one person, until i was 28, and i guess that sleeping with hundreds of women, was a way of me playing catch-up with all the opportunities i felt i missed out on in my twenty's.

    Again, i thought that it would of been out my system after a certain amount of encounters, but i just wanted more and more, the rush from playing this 'game' was too addictive, i don't fully regret doing it as it was fun and as i mentioned before it created some good memories and story's to tell from these experiences, but at the same time it also put me through a lot of heavy emptiness week in, week out while i wasn't doing it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2021
  11. Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    Absolute Chad, anyways thanks for sharing your path to holy knighthood and purity.

    Cheers!
     
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  12. Bob8

    Bob8 Fapstronaut

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    Had to google this, i'm guessing U.S slang? haha.

    I'm far from an alpha male, still quite the opposite, shy and reserved, but guys.. it still works.
     
  13. Bob8

    Bob8 Fapstronaut

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    Has anyone else been through this type of sex addiction and treating these type of ONS situations almost as sport?

    I guess the main thing i'd like to know is what they found was driving them to do this, i had a few therapy sessions with a sex / relationship therapist middle of last year, but it's still kind of a mystery to me and my behaviour for needing that gratification and validation etc.
     
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  14. Jamex

    Jamex Fapstronaut

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    It drains you as a man
     
  15. Jamex

    Jamex Fapstronaut

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    Casual sex drains you. Just like porn. You don't just realize until after much has been taken from you.
     
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  16. Bob8

    Bob8 Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree, it certainly does.
     
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  17. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    Ill take your word for it :)
    Im just off a stretch of 10 years without literally laying a finger on a woman, none of the girls i liked during this time were interested. Id take being drained from fun, no strings attached sex over that ANY day...cos that sucked. And it only ended by paying for it, which i dont regret and will do again, if thats the only way i can get laid, then im cool with that.
     
  18. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    I never had casual sex at all. I'm still a virgin, never had sex, never even had a kiss with a woman yet (aside from my mother and relatives.) However I did get into pornography at age 13 one day after sex-ed class in middle school. I started off by looking at pictures of naked women, then I started watching striptease videos and then by age 14-16 I got into extremely weird and disgusting porn genres, Tickling, Foot Worship, (I had a foot fetish prior in my childhood but porn only mutated it,) Mature Woman porn, and CBT (cock and ball torture.) I finally decided it was time for me to stop watching pornography after seeing one video of Transgender porn. This is when I realized my Porn habit had gotten out of control. I got into NoFap through meme culture, (aka, No Nut November) however I recently started taking NoFap seriously after watching the Trans porn video. My main reason for watching porn was most likely due to my discovery of it in my middle school sex-ed class and also due to my social awkwardness, and my edgy atheism phase. Now I want to convert to the Catholic Church, and find salvation with Christ to help cleanse me of my sins. If possible I also would like to find a woman and start a family, however I am convinced that is unlikely due to my history with pornography and the current state of society.
     
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  19. KingAbel

    KingAbel Fapstronaut

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    Have you had any STDs? Not gonna lie, that was amazing, in a twisted way.
     
  20. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    No.
    I don't have any STDS.
     

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