2018 Relapse

I had a pretty good streak going, now starting over after a 48-hr. screw-up. Look, the first thing you have to do is not beat yourself up over it. This isn't supposed to be easy, so give yourself a break, then get up and try again. The important thing is that with each failure try to learn something from it. Looks like you figured something out there about at least one trigger - good, well done. So this next time around, factor that into your plan. Also I suggest maybe a more realistic goal. How about something like 30 days? You can always renew your goal. When i started my goal was 30 (which btw I failed at like five times) ... then I extended to 90 ... then made it to 110. Keep trying man, this is a challenge for sure, but you can do it.

 

Should probably reset that counter...

But I hear you man. It’s difficult. You’ve just gotta get up and try again. The year’s still young, but even more importantly, the ‘year’ doesn’t really matter. Who cares if your clean streak coincides perfectly with the year 2018? 365 days is 365 days no matter when you start it. And to get there, you’ve got to pass 4 days, 30 days, 90 days and so on so focus on the most immediate, obtainable goal.

It sounds like you’ve already identified things which will trigger you and taken steps to prevent them. That’s good and already takes willpower. I’ve been clean just over two weeks but it was only yesterday that I could bring myself to finally delete my stash. Learn from this ‘mistake’, plug the hole in your barrier, and jump right back in. Don’t see failure as an excuse to abandon your goals and binge because that will make you feel much worse in the long run.

 

Look, a nofap journey doesn't have 0 relapses. If long term goals seem dofficult, start with short term, if the longest you've gone is 4 days, then try to do 7, if you get to 7, try to do 14, and yoh keep going further and further. If you get to a month, try two months, and eventually you can be free.

 

You planned 365 days??? ... seriously ..

Lets be a little realistic. cut it down, not to months, not to weeks, not to days or hours but to moments.

Survive these moments in your daily life, where you usely get hit by triggers and give in! These moments either make your or break you. Survive, watch yourself and guard yourself.

Be real to yourself, don't fool arround. When it's enough, it is enough. Don't give in to the fantasies, urges or whatever struggle comes upon your path. I don't give a damn about how you feel inside, you must not give in!

 

Sorry to hear about your relapse mate, but I think that you are doing it the wrong way. if you can't get rid of PMO for more than two days then setting objectives for 1 year seems a bit exaggerated. You should start by smaller streaks and I believe that it's by this way that you will be eventually be able to reach a looong time without PMO. For example you could take part in the forums challenges such as the 21-challenge cause it makes you being part of something. I mean you will still be fighting your urges everyday, but you will not have the feeling of doing alone.
Another thing that could help you to start your journey is distraction. Getting focus on something else helps a lot, so I suggest that for your first week of no PMO you get everyday planned as if you were the fuc***g prime minister. Like really, fill your days so you will not be able to get even 5 min of resting alone at home
Hope this will help you, we are all with you brother (and sorry for my english if I made mistakes)

 

When triggered I always remember the feeling I have after PMO'ing, the groggy, grim feeling of why did I do this? this helps me abstain as I know of course I will get a rush of dopamine, but the after effects aren't worth it. Just like stimulating drugs, great buzz, worth it in the long run? definetly not!

 

hang in there, reflect on the reasons you relapsed and do not avoid the emotions feelings after fapping. Sit quitely for a moment and reflect on the mistakes.

 

I feel for you bro I know exactly how you feel I too have trouble going past 4-7 days and yet here I am thinking about doing a 365 day streak. Like you I too have lots of free time I know I need to study and not procrastinate but I am doing the same mistakes again this year I know i should suck it up and focus better on my work and studies but I understand when guilt and urge combines and motivation drops you forget your promises and remove all the blocks that you installed. I too got close to relapsing checked videos of indian actresses in sleeveless( in the lowest possible resolution) and it triggered me but not much I got kind of turned off by the poor quality of video even though i satisfied my brain by tricking it. I resisted that momentary slip came to nofap read your story. Its like you are my future self in about 2 hours. So whenever your urge comes just visit the site look for people who are regretting their relapse you dont want to be that person so from next time follow it if it suits you. Hope this helps

 

@chanceok101 I personally don't have that much urges coming when I randomly get into a possible trigger. I haven't block P websites on my computer and as I often read mangascans, there are a lot of ecchi adds and stuff but when I see those kinds of add I just remind myself that I decided to change my life and that I will not fail for 15minutes of pleasure.
About the schedule thing, I most of the time have not any problem about making it full cause I need to study like 10 hours a day ( first year in university is no fun I tell you that) but when on holidays after my exams I just find myself things to do! Plan on doing sports, go for a walk around your town or if you prefer staying at home well watch a movie or something, it's still better than gazing upon social medias bunch of shit that will make you relapse quickly.

 

I like how you compare it to drugs. May be we dont give up on PMO because we were brain washed for years that PMO is nothing uncommon everybody does it its not life damaging like drugs and cocaine are. I think we need to convince our brain it is as bad as drugs for our life. Fear can be the biggest motivator after love.