2020 the worst year ever..

How can it be any worse? Both for me personally and for the world in general. Personally I catched multi resistant bacteria after a surgery in late last year while in a psychiatric hospital. I found my crush there and we where basically a couple but because of the disease I catched I couldnt be with anyone. I got completely isolated for 4 months.

Then when I was back from isolation, she was gone. She was visiting the hospital from time to time to say hi and trying to keep our flame alive.

Then covid hit and I didnt talk with her for 4 months or so. I messaged her one day and it turned out she is becoming my sisters neighbor. So we started hanging out again. I started contacting all of my old friends and tried getting life back to normal.

And now I am unsure if she friendzoned me or not. I have like 20 friends I was going to meet the next two weeks including meeting her to see if we can have some serious dates or if I will have to move on.

Now my country is going on a second lockdown. I have a meeting with a friend two days before the lockdown. I wont be able to figure out if the other girl friend zoned me or not because I literally cant meet her.

So covid spoiled it for me and my crush twice. If we ever get together then it was meant to be because the universe is really trying to break it up between us.

 

I have been heartbroken for a week. I have no idea if I am in the friend zone. I never got the chance to go on a serious date with her because we needed to start from scratch three times already. She is maybe the best friend I have ever had but if she doesnt share my feelings I dont even know if I can hadle being with her at all. I am meeting one of her friends on thursday. It is the day of the lockdown. I am also meeting another girl on tuesday. It is probably my last social events until this blows over.

 

And yea, the friend zone thing was a bit confusing. I messaged her and said I was going to meet a girl friend in her town. She asked me who it was and I answered that she didnt have to worry, that she had a boyfriend.

Then I said I wanted to meet her on Halloween.

She then answered what?! what does that have to do with the subject?

Then I answered: I thought you would get jealous

She answered: No. We are just friends.

Then I texted her: But I was thinking a proper date on halloween. Not an option?

She answered: yes it is, anything interesting happening?

I then said: You are a nice friend but I want a date with you on Halloween.

I will let you think until thursday.

Then I went silent for 3 days.

Messaged her again today because covid is about to sabotage my whole life again.

I told her I am meeting a mutual friend of us soon and asked if I can call her on tuesday or wednesday.

Its been a couple hours and I know she havent read my message. She isnt usually answering quick. Its not a bad sign until she spends more than 24 hours to answer.

In that case I have no option but to move on.