I remember rain falling on the roof of the car I just bought. A used car I signed no paperwork for but gave $1k for. It reeked of cigarette smoke as my almost soft smelling blankets covered me in the back seat of my new car. I looked outside my car's tinted window as rain drops slid off the car. Noone knew where I was and if they knew, they wouldn't have cared. Such is the power of mainstream social media. My family had thrown my bed onto the front lawn and began chopping it down as I drove off. It reminded me of those pictures of ancient civilizations being sacked and torn to pieces. Of course, I didn't even have a girlfriend. I was an 18 year old full of fear and insecurity, living off a shit wage and even shittier working environment. The $20k I was in debt with? It went to a car I had bought when I was financially secure. Now things were differently. It didn't help that the night I got traded either for my siblings or me, I had crashed the car so bad that it was considered salvage. Oh I got traded for my siblings, you ask? Yeah I had caught some random dude in our house who proceeded to shit bricks knowing the eldest son was in the house. I told this to my dad when my mom ran out the house with my siblings. My mom then put an ultimatum: If he wanted to see his daughters and younger son, he had to kick me out of the house. He was straight up tearing up about it too, but I knew what I had to do. I had to face the streets alone. So there I was, staring out the window of my car and marking the days I was doing NoFap for. But it all got better. I was able to negotiate with the insurance company to delist my car as salvage. Even if I had to put a large sum of money out of my pocket. Now with my steel horse back, I hit the books and got learning from the great men of the past. It would get so cold I'd turn on the car and leave the heater running. My family ended up regretting their decision and trying to get me back home. I accepted their apology and continued to do NoFap regardless. But something wasn't right. I didn't feel like the man I wanted to be. I felt like an overgrown adult living with other adults, and as a newly born leader this didn't sit right with me. I formally went to each sibling in their own room and bid farewell. I went straight to my mother and father, thanking them for providing for me. I told them this was it and that I needed to go take what was mine. After a hand shake and a hug, I went to my younger brother and did the same. I lived in the streets for a total of 2 and a half years. Getting pulled out of my car by cops. Finding my partner in life, a beautiful young lady. Killing debt. Negotiating myself out of situations. Finding a place to live in finally, with the combined strength of my girlfriend. Through all of this I basically had noone. Noone was there to lift me up. Now I run a small business, live in a beautiful neighborhood village near a mountain range with gorgeous lakes nearby. I do what I love, helping others go through what I went through, even if in support only. (Find me at https://www.twitch.tv/s1lentsurv1vor every day at 5:30 PM talking about topics like these) Being alone isn't the end of the world. Often times it is best to be alone rather than have bad influences nearby. I would ten times just be alone from all negative people, and slowly work my way to have a handful of amazing friends. Interesting to note though, but the other night as I lay in my super comfortable bed, I was describing to my girlfriend what NoFap was. She told me "I find that so amazing that in the guy community, you guys stand up for each other. You would never find something like that for women." I corrected her, "Not all guy communities are like this though. But NoFap is one of those places where people stick out for one another. It took a lot to even find them in the first place, I'm sure there is something similar on the women's side." You may be alone, but you got us and that is a win.
This is the kind of text i genuinely like to read. I reflect when I read it. Edit: All the best and success for you who wrote it.
This ultimately is the exact response a girlfriend or loved one should give when explaining nofap. I'll raise my coffee cup to you this morning. It's difficult as always to explain an addiction and some times you never can. I myself am still hesitant to tell my parents. Especially from how life is lately I don't think I could explain. At days I am 99.8% sure I'm going to tell them. But then I think to myself I'm gonna fix it and pray.
Great story, and I hope you can keep that up. You gotta be careful though. The journey has just begun, and before you get too comfy in your new comfy bed you gotta come up with higher aspirations. Or you're just gonna fap again.
I'm saying this coming from someone who has experienced quite some success from nofap, only to kind of throw it all away. Once you reach the "top" of your nofap goals, it's difficult to stay motivated. The plateau is real and it's terrible. My personal advice is to always keep some kind of nearly impossible goal on your mind that isn't enforced by anyone but yourself.
fucking INSPIRATION Rodrigov600! I'm excited to go on my recovery journey and finally share my pain and addiction with people who know what I'm going through. I will reach where you are, no matter how many obstacles life throws in my way!
Inspiring story my friend, How did you mansge to go through these days of lonelyness - All alone in the middle of the Rain... Inside your Car, How did manage that ?