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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Sep 9, 2017.
Wow. I lasted 1 whole day more than last time. Well done me.
Ffs! I was doing so well!
Really annoyed that I have reset. Started looking and then thought "Well I am going to have to reset my counter now anyway". In fact I am not sure if I did consciously think that, because I clearly just wasn't thinking.
Day 5 of 21!!!!!
Last time I failed, it really did just feel like a blip. I was feeling really good in general and it didn't seem to effect me. I felt like I was still building on what I achieved before.
This time, I feel like crap! Struggled to sleep, really strong chaser effect. I still really want to look again now! I have barely thought about it for days!
So this could be the most testing day 1 that I have had in a while, because I will not crack. In the long run this will make me stronger!
Keep going! You're still doing really well and your runs are getting longer! You'll really have to push through the next couple of days but the urges will wear off if you don't give them oxygen. I had to do that on Saturday the day after my reset. Instead of feeling like you have to fight the urge, see it as you would whenever you have any other stupid idea popping into your head... just smile, acknowledge it as a silly idea, let it go, and bring your focus back to whatever it is you're doing. I find that helps.
You mentioned that you feel you weren't thinking... I find that it's helpful to do stuff like meditation that trains you to be more aware of your semi-unconscious thought processes. Have you written down a list of SUDs (Seemingly Unimportant Decisions)? Think of all of the small decisions that you sometimes make that get you one step closer to P. It might be using the internet at a specific time of day, or getting up or going to bed late, or opening a specific social media site/app, taking a hot shower, or skipping part of your morning routine like going to the gym, taking your phone to the bathroom, using your computer in a private space, or not taking a break from work or screentime every hour or so, taking a specific route to work that gets you closer to triggers, or closing the door to your bedroom. These things are personal, so it depends entirely on what triggers you. Then make the decision not to do those things for the next 3 weeks! I've found that being more aware of the smaller steps in the process towards the relapse helps a lot. What did you do earlier that got you closer to those urges? How could you have avoided them? What exit strategy are you going to adopt the next time you have a similar situation?
Day 4/21. Yesterday was a busy day and didn't have time to think about online temptation. Wasn't perfect on the ogling though - today I intend to fully resume bouncing the eyes and getting back on the horse on that front.
Check out this awesome reboot material. PDF attached.
Thanks for the support and the advice mate
Yes, been doing the meditation thing.
Not done the SUDs. It is all to do with when I spend too much time on here, my laptop or phone. In this case it was because I was trying to avoid doing something else! Run out of news and social media to check etc and then started to wander. Working on other areas of my life though, and got some tougher walls than not looking at P to crack! haha Life long habits of procrastination, avoidance and being unproductive to deal with.
This had better be fucking worth it! hahaha
day 4/21, didn't feel in the mood for a cold shower today, but will take 1 tomorrow
Day 6 of 21!!!!!!
Day 0... I need this...
back to day 0.
Day 5/21. Was slipping yesterday evening and made some risky searches on google and FB that could have led me to binging on P-Subs. Before I started browsing through videos and images I stopped myself, but I'm not happy that I allowed myself to make those searches. Likewise, I could have worked a lot harder on the ogling.
Today, I am going to crack down on the ogling, which is the biggest problem now. If I want to kick the desire for PMO, I need to kick the habit of ogling too. My mantra today is going to be "How is my behaviour today different to previous days?"