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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Sep 9, 2017.
Day 11/21. Cravings were also tough yesterday. Was lazy at working on the ogling and in the evening found myself with very strong cravings circling around the video that I last reset because of - I went back to the channel and related channels and was watching as many of their less P-Subby videos as I could find, without going for the one that *really* triggered me the last time. It's becoming a regular thing to feel these cravings and feelings of frustration every night at the moment, I'm entering new territory having not M'd in 32 days, and my inner addict is trying its best to remind me of it. I really hope that if I push through and just keep saying no then the cravings will eventually fade away, as at the moment sometimes my mind is running in circles asking the question "why do I have to bother?", feeling like it's held hostage and not able to experience the pleasure it wants while others are. Totally illogical thinking, but I can't seem to avoid getting caught up in it at the moment.
How are you keeping yourself busy?
1 day back on the clock. Don't want to curse it, but been pretty good. Bit of temptation, but nothing much really. Feeling back in a certain amount of control.
Also now have the 'Sober Time' counter on my phone, which I quite like. Has goals and things, a bit like on here, but shows you them as a percentage of each one etc, whilst counting in real time. Quite a good visual way of showing it all.
Did try and get the 'I Am Sober' app, recommended by a friend, but it is not available where I am. Will have to wait until I am in a different country and then will try again.
Restarting today. Had a slip.
Day 2 of 21!!
Relapse yesterday - Day 0/21 today. Made a few too many silly mistakes that led to it. It happened in the silliest way - I hadn't cleaned out my internet history the day before and I was on a YouTube video about NoFap, but saw a recommended video in the sidebar for the channel that had the video that led to my previous reset. Clicked on the channel, looked at a couple of their less P-Subby videos but then went straight for the video I shouldn't have watched, saying to myself 'I'll just pause it and look at the comments, but I won't watch it'. And what did I do? Follow tips in the comments to the most triggering parts. I didn't even technically M, but I must have been so sensitive to stimulation that it led to an involuntary O without touching anything - absolutely absurd.
I have decided to see it as a temporary setback, but not a complete annulment of my progress. I closed it after the O happened, cleaned out my search history and set my YouTube to restricted mode, and I didn't binge. I went and did some affirmations in the bathroom mirror after, telling myself 'I am a human being and I make mistakes' over and over until I felt better about it. There's no use beating myself up about it at this stage.
I still managed to get to 32 days with no MO prior to that, which is the most I've ever done. Now I know I can do that and I can do even more.
I will have plenty to keep me busy over the coming months due to good stuff going on in my personal life, as well as a lot of stuff at work. It may not always necessarily be fun stuff, so I'll need to be vigilant, but I can keep myself away from PMO.
Sorry to hear that man, but you could see it coming hey?
You are right not to beat yourself up. Well done on the long streak! Awesome!
Now watch out for the chaser effect. Especially with your counter now back down, there can be more temptation because you are no longer losing a long streak.
Keep going mate, you are doing well!
Day 3 of 21!!!
Ooh, forgot to write that I have now done 2 days ( 4 hours, 31 minutes and 14 seconds 20, 21, 22 )
Been a decent day. Need to get off the computer now though.
Be strong everyone!
Day 3, no urges previously and no PMO today! Going well