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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Sep 9, 2017.
19, two days morrrreeee
I am starting day 0. Hopefully I will complete challenge and get over pmo
No worries Majik, pick up yourself. Learn from last mistake. Analyze the trigger and avoid it. Get accountability partner. Report on journal. Give spirit to others on the same journey. You can do it brother! My pray for you
Day 2 of 21!!
Alright, tomorrow will make one year since I moved to a different state. I thought at the time that a new environment, new scenery, new people would create great changes in my life and aid me in moving forwards as opposed to backwards. But after personally hitting rock bottom last year in addition to my constant battles with some of the same struggles, I’ve very slowly come to the realization that unless something were to happen that drastically turns my world upside down, I in fact may never actually change. Back in college a friend of mine would say that it’s not the place but the person who makes themselves unhappy. And I would combat that every time because I definitely disliked the area which we went to school as it was away from the city, which at the time was all I knew since as far back as I could remember. It wasn’t until my senior year in college that I began to appreciate all the things that that place had to offer. But I had to grow and open my eyes to finally see it. So I’ve realized that it’s not that my friend was speaking facts, for every situation is different, but rather that he altered his mindset to adapt to his surroundings to get the most out of it and not the other way around. Reason why this pertains to me is because no matter where I go in this world, if I allow my demons to take hold and get the best of me, I’m never going to be happy or appreciate what’s around me. I’ll always seek to find a scapegoat rather than looking within. My downfall has always been expecting life or other influences to do the work for me. Awaiting a catalyst that will set me straight rather than becoming said catalyst and creating my own life story. If I can’t cook, maybe the perfect woman would just land in my lap, who can. Don’t have a job? Then maybe the relatives I stay with will just conveniently find me the perfect paying position at the company their friend owns five minutes down the road. For some people, occurrences like these actually happen. But for the majority, nothing ventured is nothing gained. I hate what I’ve allowed myself to become. To say that I’ve tried is laughable because I quite honestly should be doing more. Hence, I end this post exactly how I started it; tomorrow makes it a year since I moved to a different state. And thus far I have nothing to show for it. Am I going to watch another year go by as I await some miracle to force me to do better? To be better? Or am I going to be the change that I want to see? I guess only time will tell... but what I will say is that tomorrow I begin anew at Day 0.
1 day back on the clock.
Yup. My alcoholic friend said it is called a 'geographical'. You think that changing where you are will solve your problems, but you just take them with you. It is not the place, it is you. Harsh hey? I am realising a similar thing. Definitely guilty of moving around hoping that things will be better.
Yeah. I don’t know why the biggest/hardest lessons in life always seem to take the most time to learn. Even if the answers you sought were staring at you in the face. It’s through all this struggle that I also finally grasped a few years ago what the old adage “old habits die hard” finally meant. I believe I can succeed. I believe you can do it too. Hell I believe we all can succeed. But the “how” is what always escapes me. Blind optimism without faith or a strong foundation has begun to sound like merely a sham. Which is why if I can’t rely on myself to crawl out of this pit, I’ll remain here forever. But am I strong enough? My efforts thus far have not been very fruitful. It’s a decent start, but I gotta make a game-changer.
Day 2. Two bits of LEGO.