21 day milestone

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Galaxian21, Jan 24, 2020.

  1. Galaxian21

    Galaxian21 Fapstronaut

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    I just finished 21 days without porn and M to O. I abused porn for the better part of 30 years, and ruined my first marriage partly due to my inability to understand the problem. This milestone is important to me because I have always heard it takes 21 consecutive days to form a new habit—or in this case lose a bad habit. I’m not sure how many years it has been since I went 21 days without porn—I’m 49 and started in my teens—but MANY for sure. Life is too short to waste any more of it.

    I am in a loving relationship again with a beautiful woman with a high sex drive, and I have had sex to orgasm several times in this 21 day time frame. My approach to this process is slow steady growth, measuring progress through our sexual experiences. My main goal is to permanently cure my PIED, DE, and intrusive, distracting thoughts of porn during sex. I want to have more authentic and intense sexual relations with my SO. We are already experiencing the benefits and the results are very encouraging; this is my “why.” I don’t want to hurt my SO any longer, she’s the best thing has happened to me in a long time and we deserve better together.

    I’ll use this as my place to relay observations as I progress. 21 days is the first real milestone I have been shooting for. I have no intentions of regressing on porn use, and thus far has been “easy” so to speak. The damage I have done to myself and others, once I put 2 and 2 together, has been too devastating and embarrassing to ever go back to that way of life. As my mind becomes free of this obsession, it is perfectly clear to me now that PMO has been the root cause of so many problems and failures.

    It feels great to finally be on the right track, and I am excited for what is yet to come.
     
    Lazlo Lorex, Nugget9 and JustADude like this.
  2. JustADude

    JustADude Fapstronaut

    I have tried to quit many times. The longest I have abstained was 20 days. Maybe there is something to your 21 day achievement. Congratulations on your new marriage and best of luck to continued happiness within it.
     
    Galaxian21 likes this.
  3. Galaxian21

    Galaxian21 Fapstronaut

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    Ha, we aren’t married—but thanks anyway. We are happy together. We’re both divorced with kids (mine are older) and only get to spend time together once or twice a week. I’ll see her tonight, can’t wait! This gives me small manageable goals with a reward system built in.
     
  4. HocketSmith

    HocketSmith Fapstronaut

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    Woah three weeks man well done keep it up. I hope she appreciates the effort you're putting in.
     
    Galaxian21 likes this.
  5. Galaxian21

    Galaxian21 Fapstronaut

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    The reviews are very positive thus far! She has been quite patient with me for a year... I’m lucky to still have her.
     
    HocketSmith likes this.
  6. Galaxian21

    Galaxian21 Fapstronaut

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    Pros: clearer thinking, more energy, better erections, no DE, fading PIED, no shame, losing feelings of jealousy/retroactive jealousy
    Cons: I have experienced some hot spots/itching on my arms, last night was the first in a while I didn’t wake up with a burning itch on my arm.
     
  7. HocketSmith

    HocketSmith Fapstronaut

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    Losing feelings of jealousy? Is it because you feel more secure do you think?
     
  8. Galaxian21

    Galaxian21 Fapstronaut

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    This was something I have struggled with and never really knew why. I think it is related to guilt from watching too much porn, or some weird association of porn fantasy that I am watching vs. the realities of real people and real relationships. I haven’t solved it yet, but I am definitely feeling more secure and less jealous as a result of all this. I’m still in the infant stages of course.
     
    HocketSmith likes this.
  9. HocketSmith

    HocketSmith Fapstronaut

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    Well that's good. That burning itch is a bit worrisome though, never heard of that.
     
    Galaxian21 likes this.
  10. Faceplanter

    Faceplanter Fapstronaut

    Oh for sure, watching porn makes you think that everybody around you is likely getting it on way more than you and with great lighting!
     
    Galaxian21 likes this.
  11. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    Washing and no touching except for washing and peeing. Absolute key. Plus no fantasy and looking away. Focus on partners emotions and other love languages.
     
  12. T-rex123

    T-rex123 Fapstronaut

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    good job man im 22 and im now on day 19 i feel little depressed rn i think my dopamine levels are really low i guess. check this is a NoFap time line from day to day seems interesting for me so maybe also for you
     
    DannyCool likes this.
  13. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    You will push through that. A bit of a rest is no harm.
     
  14. T-rex123

    T-rex123 Fapstronaut

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    defenately by day 30 dopamine levels will raise by little pieces looking forward to it
     
    DannyCool likes this.
  15. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    It is a sign of a good reboot.
     

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