21 days NoFap hardmode. Just want to let you know that you can do it!

During the time that I was trying to drop my PMO habit, I thought that it was just something that I would never be able to do. I thought that it would have a fierce hold on me forever. I have been trying to maintain a NoFap streak for years now, and the farthest I have got is 6 days in the past. This time is different, I'm on my 22nd day now. Here is my advice as a 17-year-old who has been struggling with porn for years now.

The only way that I was able to start a somewhat serious streak was by digging myself the deepest, most disgusting hole I could imagine. Just quitting wasn't working, so I decided that I would not try and force my corrupt mind to make choices to fix itself, instead, I would simply watch the chaos unfold. In a way, this was my breaking point. I just went on watching all the gross porn that I would normally watch, and then hate myself for watching it. Months went by, and I was so unhappy with myself. After I was done indulging in PMO, all I could think was that I was robbed, and I knew I would be robbed again. Still, I didn't stop watching porn, I kept doing it.

This got to the point where I was so disgusted with the state of my life, and it had gone on for so long that all of my normal excuses had worn out.

"You'll get there eventually"
"You're 17 and you can't do NoFap when you're this young."
"I just don't think it's possible."
"Maybe when my life is in a better place, I'll do NoFap."
"I'll start seriously when I'm 18."

This is all bullshit.

However, I had to get to this place where I was so utterly disgusted with myself and so ashamed with where I had ended up, and of the idea of indulging in it again, that quitting was easier than going on with this habit, (At least emotionally). I would always think to myself what a failure I was for my habit with PMO. However, once you fail yourself beyond your own wildest conceptions, there comes a moment of stillness where you see that things cannot possibly get worse. You've arrived at the worst place that this addiction has brought you to, and you cannot get any lower. This catastrophic failure is a miracle though, without having failed so terribly, you would have no starting point for recovery. The starting point of recovery is the same place as the endpoint of all of your failures.

You will not lose anything by quitting porn and masturbation, because there is nothing there to lose. There is no core and no substance to porn, it is a seductive mirage that distracts you, leaves you beat up and leaves you penniless. You can't lose something that was never there in the first place. Porn is the most wonderful lie that was ever told, and in quitting, you hope to remember the truth.

In my mind, I was the worst porn addict that I would have imagined. I'm in no way cured yet, I still have over 65 days until I hit 90 days, and even that is just the beginning.

I want to bring the message that you can do this. I thought that I was too young to successfully do NoFap, so especially to the people my age who are silently struggling with porn addiction, you can do this. It will be the hardest battle of your life, but victory will feel better than any false promise that porn ever gave you.

I'm in the flatline process right now, so I figured now that things are calm, and I've gotten to a relatively good anchor point in NoFap, I would give this message.

I'm looking forward to continuing the journey and wanted to help spread the wonderful news, that even if you are in the worst place imaginable with PMO, you are capable of beating this terrible habit.

You can do this.

 

I had terrible urges last night too haha. I felt like I was missing out on my old habits and the dopamine it brings. It was like me brain was trying to making my awareness shine only on all the old porn I used to watch. I only managed to stop the urges when I told myself to remember that you miss out on nothing when you renounce porn, however you miss out on all of the real life interactions when you choose to indulge.

Congrats on 23 days!!