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21 yo male. The viscous cycle of a college campus.

Balancing rebooting with studying.

  1. I'm in college, and there's tons of cute girls around. In my classes, on my way to class, in the library... everywhere.

    I can't even look at a girl and smile at them when we make eye contact. Sometimes ill pass one by in the hall and they'll do that hair flip thing while looking at me, but ill just keep staring ahead, pretending I didn't notice.

    I've never had a gf before, whenever I've had sex its been a one time thing, I didn't even know their name. I'm tired of jacking off. The thoughts I'm having are repulsive and I can only assume its because of the fetishes I've developed through porn. Its lonely as fuck out here and I've been using porn as a way to escape from that loneliness.

    I'm self-conscious about a few things, but on my day to day I think that my appearance is still attractive. Sometimes I get looks from girls when I'm standing next to my motorcycle, or like i mentioned earlier when I'm walking through halls. But I can never reciprocate, I literally can't tell my face to smile, get my self to say hi, or acknowledge their presence.

    I'm in this never ending cycle of noticing a girl notice me noticing them noticing me. Its fucking brutal. Especially being on a college campus everyday.
     
    Searchpower likes this.
  2. Someone B

    Someone B Fapstronaut

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    Man I kind of understand you. If you trying to do No PMO so hell yeah this is hard what you're passsing through... I don't live in the campus but for the little time of the week that I go to the university, every time either a girl with tight clothes or clevage visible or... Damn it, heck you P. Because of this drug, even if I have a gf, I see other woman like I just want to do bad things with them. Even a simple look or just looking a beautie passing in the campus, curvy or not, can be a hell trigger when I go back home.
    I have a dude that gonna try with me the No Nut november and he understand me well with this never end fight against P and that's help quite a lot.

    If I understand well you don't have a gf but the fact that
    you can't deal with it ?
     
    Searchpower likes this.
  3. Its not that I cant deal with it. I'm happy that girls notice me. Its just that I cant get myself to do anything about it.
     
    Searchpower likes this.
  4. Someone B

    Someone B Fapstronaut

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    Well I haven't understood this way. If it's that so normally, if you'll reach 2 weeks no PMO (and you'll do it) you should feel less this sensation that you can't do something to go for a talk with a woman (in the objectif to be friend or just.. anyway).
    I have a friend that see student life and adult life like this : a game where you have to learn, the smarter you are, the better. And then in another part of the game their is sex... and P is a sort of bad bonus, you use it, you loose your potential and it's like a super start at mario kart. I mean the people that can overcome P or don't deel with it at all can do super start but if we use P, either we start without turbo or worse we can damage the engine (cuz P make us like we can overcome the one that have the turbo but the thing he do is that he make us push too much the gas pedal and that could end with a motor breakdown...
     
  5. i think you gotta try and not think of having goals with women. and just be open to maybe try cultivating a friendship. your personal issues with sex and porn and relationships are clouding your perspective on the simple, everyday interactions. you can’t have an agenda with folks. just keep it simple. try and talk with people. doesn’t have to be the world’s longest conversation. just every chit chat. the weather, this assignment blows, the usual. you gotta let things develop. but you also gotta be cool with conversations just fizzling out, like most do, and some just failing. of course it is easier said than done and it feels like a lot now. but just keep it simple, no agenda, and don’t let your mind put more meaning into things.
     

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