22 getting back on track

Day 18:

my friends are here and we’re having a really good time.
I don’t have any bigger urges but I sometimes get stiff very randomly when a small sexthought comes to my mind. Next week I will establish healthy routines with going to gym again, drinking on Friday and not before.

 

Totally agree.

day 20 today:

my friends are leaving today and I am happy that they are because even though we had lots of fun, it was really exhausting to go partying everyday with them.

 

Day 21:

My updates were not very detailed these last days and I have seen a bad development. While my friends were here we drank alot and we also used drugs, too many. also because I was very horny I downloaded grindr again. yesterday, i did a videocall with my boyfriend and we were both jacking off but i didnt come. Anyways after i was so horny that i started sexting on grindr and sparely watching porn. Now I am at a Point where I dont know whats the best to continue. jack off without porn once to take the pressure? jack off to porn once to take the pressure? meet a guy to take the pressure (with the danger of having a bad date)? Just try to continue this streak and get rid of all the bad habits (GRindr and Porn here and there)? I really dont know what to do but i tend to meeting a guy because it would be the only natural solution for releasing pressure.
I will come back to this forum later.

 

I decided to delete grindr again and jack off once to a sex story. I released pressure and I will not fall back to the chaser effect. I will start this new streak with the progress from the last streak. I felt like it was better ending this bad behavior now instead of waiting for a grindr date which could have taken a while..

Now I am clean again and don’t have pressure.

new streak:

Go to gym 4 times a week for the next two weeks (1 time this week already done). In 2 weeks I will get visit from friends so I might not be able to go 4times.

It is Tuesday now and Tuesday the 5th of April is day 1 of this streak. I am still able to get over 30 days of streak until my boyfriend comes here. I will do that. No peeking and for gods sake no grindr.

 

That would have been an option too, you're right, but as he is doing nofap too, I didn't want him to fap either.

 

Day 2:
Day 1 yesterday was succesfully passed, and I am starting to feel better. A reason for this might also be that I have tried to eat many fruits and vegetables in order to get some vitamins. I tried to smoke less cigarettes than usual on monday, and my conclusion is, smoking less makes me feel better. I am pretty sure that if I would manage to stop smoking, I would be so much happier. Less headaches, better mood, higher libido .... I just need to stop. I set myself a new date for quitting smoking. the 25th of April is supposed to be my first smoke free day, it is two weeks before my boyfriend will come to visit me. I need to do this because it will help me so much. I think nothing can help me more than stopping smoking. Until then I will definetly be strong with nofap, and also continue when I have stopped smoking. It might be one tough week but I will do it.

I am pretty sure that I didn't lose all the progress from my last streak. The setting is good to make this a really good streak. The weather here is getting really good, I don't have to drink all the time, I'm going to the gym again and I am trying to have a diet with many vegetables and fruits so that my body gets what it needs.

 

Day 3:

yesterday I messed up and was really drunk and we used one drug. Today I smoked weed and drank one beer. Now I don’t have any wer left and I won’t buy any. Later today I will go to the gym.

 

Reset:

Friday is day 1

i didn’t go to gym, I got horny because of a call with my boyfriend, and now I messed up.

i will go for 30 days. Checking in here 2 times a day

 

I need to reset again, Saturday is day 1

 

Day1:

i was at a rave yesterday with lots of alcohol and drugs. I slept only 2 hours and am trying to stay awake until 9pm or so, to get back to a normal sleep rhythm. The next week I won’t drink alcohol! No drugs! And I will be serious with nofap again. Daily checkin.

 

Day2:

yesterday I felt like shit, didn’t have enough sleep, my head was not clear at all. I also felt unmotivated to do anything, even watching a movie felt boring and not satisfying. I was on YouTube and none of the recommended Videos felt like worth watching. This is the hangover from MDMA, I’m sure about that. I hope it will end soon. Today after 9 and a half hours of sleep it’s a lot better but there is still a way to go. I will go to the gym today and maybe work on some university stuff. I don’t feel any sexual energy, except when talking to my boyfriend on the phone.

 

I am really missing my boyfriend, I think when I can see him regularly again I will be satisfied by having sex with him and I won’t need any porn.
I think another reason for my relapsed is my inconsequential lifestyle right now overall. Lots of alcohol, nicotine and drugs now and then. I will change this.

 

How are you doing?

 

Sounds good keep going!

 

Day 3:

did a day trip to a desert today, it was really nice and I am really tired and will go to bed now.
No urges.