22 getting back on track

I failed on Wednesday and said I would analyze the fail the next day. Now it’s Monday and I haven’t posted anything.

I jacked off everyday since I failed. But one thing changed. the relapse made me feel so bad that I couldn’t sleep Wednesday to Thursday night so that I stayed up and decided tö stop smoking Thursday afternoon. 15:33 I smoke the last cigarette, so tomorrow Tuesday 15:33 I will reach day 5 of no smoking. No smoking isn’t actually that hard because I decided that I am done with this horrible phase in my life and that I will never go back again.

Anyways I jacked off these last days and maybe this also helped me stay strong considering smoking. I felt quite happy the last days but my mood is slowly getting a bit worse. When I did those 5 days of nofap I already felt better. I want to be like that again. In combination with no smoking it will make me feel great.

Tuesday the 13th of December marks day 1 of my new nofap streak.

I will do this !!

 

Today 15th of December was day 1, I didn’t jack off or watch anything. (Nofap)

My new streak has started and I commit to it!

looking forward to the journey

smoke free since 7,5 days now

 

Saturday, day9 of no smoking almost over (15:33) then I will reach day 10 which is my Highscore until now. But this time I will go much further. Still have some hard moments where I feel kind of depressed and empty and therefore have thoughts about smoking, but they are getting less.

Working out in the gym is better than ever, I go almost every day and I got my weight up to 84kg now. Aiming at 88kg or something like that . No smoking makes working out so much more effective and more fun.


Considering nofap:

Today is day 3, and I will go on, I feel like I’m doing something big right now and that I am having success doing it!

not only will I not smoke, now also kicking PMO addiction!

excited to see how I will feel on day 7 of no PMO, probably crazy!!

 

Day3 of no PMO is over

in the 10th day of not smoking. I can breathe so much better, my smell is so much better, less mood swings, more happiness overall.

I realized that I drank alcohol in a way that was kind of untypical for me the last week. Tuesday 5 beers, Wednesday one, Thursday one Friday 3, Saturday a beer and 2 glasses of wine. Normally I drank way to much on the weekends but I didn’t drink those 1 or 2 beers on a normal day. I need to be careful that this doesn’t get a habit. Sunday until Thursday I won’t drink anything.

 

I’ve beaten my old Highscore of 10 days not smoking. I’m in day 11 now!! very proud of myself, looking forward to continue.

I felt really good today. I thought about writing my ex bf a message but I decided to wait a bit longer.

Day 4 of no pmo also going good, hornyness is starting to rise. I woke up with morning wood today, felt great. It’s good to see that everything down there is working, but I need to be careful not to relapse to my hornyness the next days. Also I think I can really feel the rebooting process.

I know I am doing the right thing right now and this is the best feeling. I also know I can and need to optimize some things like the alcohol, but I am quite satisfied with how things are going until now.

 

Update:

i wrote my bf a message later that evening, and he kindly replied that we can meet up soon, on the 27th.
Looking forward to this. This day I think I will have 19 days of no smoking! Also I will Continue nofap, it will be 13 days I think.
I have a great routine of working out right now and I’m seeing results.

I’m doing almost everything right.
Yesterday I had a beer again in the evening, because I kind of wanted to celebrate that I wrote this message which I wanted to write since Several weeks. I will not drink anything until cruel end of the week though.

 

In the 12th day of my new life as a nonsmoker, i had some moodswings today but the positive one was way stronger than the negative one. When I had my high, I committed again to my new life as a nonsmoker. It feels great.

Gonna read a bit in a book now and then sleep, I feel like this can be a good new habit too. I don’t even have to force myself to do it, I want to do it.
I think there might be some downs coming too so I need to be careful to not get tricked by the nicotine monster, but I will overcome those downs and I think the highs will be amazing. I already feel a little bit like a new born. Still have some tiredness throughout the day but today was less than yesterday and I think that I am at a point now where things will only get better overall. I think it’s the „moment of freedom“ as Allen carr calls it in his book.

 

day 13 of no smopking starts in 20 minutes.

day 6 of NOfap today, not really horny.

 

Seems like I’m in flatline.

 

Had a couple of beers with friends yesterday, was nice. But today I have a little hangover. Not so nice.

anyways I will complete 2 weeks/14 days of no smoking this afternoon. i don’t feel that good today but probably that’s mostly because of the hangover.
yesterday when my friends smoked their cigarettes it was not that hard to resist smoking. Especially because I felt pretty good and had a good energy in myself which I could also transfer on the others. I wouldn’t have had this positive energy if I was still a smoker that was full of selfhatred. Happy that I left this phase behind.

another reason why I might not feel that good today could be that I’m in day 8 of noPMO. Maybe flatline? I don’t know. It doesn’t really make sense to further Analyze this I think. The bad days will pass and good ones will come.
I can identify that bad mood is something temporary, and that there is no reason to think drugs of any kind (cigarettes, alcohol, porn) would make me feel any better in the long run.

 

I relapsed today to a sex story. My day was kind of shit I don’t even know why. Just a bad mood probably because of the process. I don’t know. I don’t even feel that bad about the relapse. I don’t feel worse than Before I relapsed. I still don’t smoke and I will keep not smoking.
yesterday my workout in the gym was shit and I had some back pain and still have it. Therefore I decided that I won’t go to the gym today so that my body gets some rest. But when I don’t go to the gym sometimes my day feels like there was nothing worth it. Is this the depression because of not smoking? I hope so and I Hope that It ends soon.

 

Jacked off to a sex story once today too.
24th of December is my new day 1.

currently in day 16 of no smoking.
Yesterday and today were quite bad days… but it will get better soon I’m optimistic.

 

Jacked off today again twice, I was extremely horny.

Currently in day 18 nonsmoker. Family was here for Christmas and I had nice days. Mood is getting better again. Resisting urges to smoke gets easier.

 

19 days of no smoking
0 days nofap streak
I’m super horny these days, which is a good thing but I was not really strong enough to not masturbate. Anyways tomorrow and Thursday I will definitely not masturbate because I am meeting my ex boyfriend on Thursday.

I’ve read often that it takes about 21 days to build a new habit and 90 days to stick to it. I’m not at 21 days yet but since the last couple of days it does feel like 3 weeks is what it takes to get a habit going. I don’t really mind about smoking right now. Sometimes there is a little urge but it’s very easy to say no because I have many benefits from not smoking. I am being successful with not smoking but I also want to be more serious about nofap soon.

Gym habit also very good right now.
I eat good. My weight rises.

 

I will reach 3 full weeks of no smoking today! I’m very proud of myself and I deserve to be so.
Didn’t masturbate yesterday although I did some peaking.

 

Should have read you’re comment earlier… relapsed really badly today. Since a couple of days I’m so fucking horny probably because of not smoking and also lots of testosterone from working out a lot. I could really resist my urges. I ended up watching porn for like 2,5h hours without finishing, until finally at the end I decided to cum because otherwise it would have had an end … after I came I was really tired and motivated for nothing. Before I started watch p today I was at the gym and had a great workout and I felt like god. And 2 hours later this shit happened. I will work on this. Tomorrow I’m meeting my ex bf, I hope this will not have any effects on my mood tomorrow.