22 years addicted 2 days sober

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by haasvf2, Oct 14, 2021.

  1. haasvf2

    haasvf2 Fapstronaut

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    As the title suggests I have been addicted to porn for 22 years. I am 43 years old. I first saw porn as a 5 year old. I had multiple sexual experiences with women and a few men as I grew up. I was age 6 through 11 for these experiences. As a 10 year old I had a couple of nudie mags supplied by a man who had used the mags to get my friend and I naked. In the 22 years of porn addiction I have slowly lost my personality. I am married. This has been a good marriage. My relationship with my wife has gotten distant and dark since I set out to rid my life of porn 6 weeks ago. For this 6 weeks I have had incredible rage inside me that is not normal to me. I have also experienced depression. I look forward to the benefits of NoFap.
     
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  2. Robinthehood

    Robinthehood Fapstronaut

    Well done for showing up, mate.
    Where does that rage come from? So did you manage 6 weeks without porn already?
    All the best
     
  3. haasvf2

    haasvf2 Fapstronaut

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    The 6 weeks was addiction awareness and on and off usage. Going for the overall win now.
     
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  4. WeirdAsshole

    WeirdAsshole Fapstronaut

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    Men!!! I´m starting with this, i create a plan for being sober, first day (yesterday) I burned all my porn movies, second day (today) I deleted all the porn from my phone and pc, third day ( tomorrow) I'll start talking to the guys at my school like I did before porn, give me luck.
     
  5. haasvf2

    haasvf2 Fapstronaut

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    I hope that goes well for you weirdasshole.
     
  6. ElderStatesman

    ElderStatesman Fapstronaut

    Good start, my friend! Stay with it.
     
  7. ElderStatesman

    ElderStatesman Fapstronaut

    Thanks for this, hassvf2. As a solid veteran of 25 years of internet porn addiction and decades of mags, films and videos of sh*t before that, I can definitely relate.

    Sorry you’re having to deal with such rage. My credentials as a psychologist hover around zero, but perhaps you’re experiencing anger about your past that you’ve buried for years by staying hooked on our favorite drug. It’s probably good that you’re able to express it here, and reading about the struggles others, such as you, are dealing with definitely helps me, so thanks again.

    Hang in there and good luck with everything.
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2021
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  8. WeirdAsshole

    WeirdAsshole Fapstronaut

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    I hope don´t return to that bullshit :D
     
  9. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    I notice you have set your counter to "No Porn". Are you planning to tackle masturbation later?
     
  10. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    These are common withdrawal symptoms when you are in the early phase of NoFap. Basically, your brain is throwing a hissy fit because it is not getting the usual flood of dopamine from your addiction. Ride the rollercoaster the best you can and do not give in to your cravings for masturbation and porn.
     
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  11. haasvf2

    haasvf2 Fapstronaut

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    Masturbation for me follows porn. It is included in my sobriety. Hopefully it does not manifest as a problem in of itself.
     
  12. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    That's fine. That question was posed to @WeirdAsshole.
     
  13. WeirdAsshole

    WeirdAsshole Fapstronaut

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    Maybe, but if i have a withdrawal syndrome with only porn, i can´t imagine without masturbation
     
  14. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    It is tough, especially when you are in puberty, :rolleyes: not gonna lie.
     
  15. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    When I experience urges it's very often a mix of frustration/anger that comes with it, just this crazy tension inside of me. I think maybe you should talk to your wife if you put any of that on her and tell her it's not personal, you're going through stuff or something, just to let her know.

    I do agree with others that it may just be emotions that we have been hiding from for so long, it needs to come out, maybe you could workout or some sort of physical activity that could help channel that but also awareness of your own emotions, thoughts etc. without judging them, just looking at how all this works.

    Good luck!
     
  16. WelcomeToReality

    WelcomeToReality Fapstronaut

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    Get your wife on a date. And concentrate only for giving. If it's truly person you want to live the rest of your life then don't waist time anymore. If you not court her like in beginning then it's guarantee way of losing her interest completely, anyway you gonna have more time since you porn free why not to spend it with your wife?
     
  17. ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved

    ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved Fapstronaut

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    Lol yep. I think around the one week mark for me I was tempted to get into a fight with a dude who wouldn't let me bring a water bottle into a stadium. After I cooled off I was like, "What the heck was I thinking???"
     

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