22 years old new to nofap

Hi everyone, I just recently learned of the dangers of PMO and my eyes have been opened to the horrible affects that it's had on my life. I've been masturbating since I was 9 years old and have been watching porn since I was 11.

Im depressed, have anxiety, have almost no friends, and have had only one real girlfriend and that relationship ended 3 years ago. Before the age of 18 I PMO'd a few times per week. After my last relationship ended I turned heavily to PMO up to 3 times per day sometimes more and over the past few years my life has deteriorated to almost nothing.

I feel like I've lost the ability to feel joy and nowadays i'm numb to just about everything. I can't go on living like this anymore so I've decided I'm finally going to start this journey and get rid of this awful addiction no matter what it takes!!!!

I've put a strong blocker on my phone which prevents me from downloading apps from the Google play store, watching YouTube, searching anything on Google or any other search engine, accessing any kind of social media, and blocks all websites except for this one and a few others. This blocker generates a random password to unlock it and I have to email the creator of the blocker and wait 24 hours before the password will be given to me.

I've sold my tablet and destroyed the Ethernet port in my gaming PC so that I would have to buy a new ethernet port to use it again. Even with me not being able to access porn on any personal devices any longer this will still be tough.

I know in the back of my mind that I could always sneak into my older brothers room who I live with when he's not home and sign into guest mode on his computer to watch porn if I really wanted to. Not too sure what to do about that because I think he would be a little upset if I destroyed the Ethernet port in his computer.

I'm on day 3 of hard mode and I'm going to just try to take it one day at a time because I know the life that I've been dreaming of is on the other side!

 

Thanks!