22th Day having a bit of an emotional time, sad and lonely

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Davinblake, Oct 26, 2018.

  1. Davinblake

    Davinblake Fapstronaut

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    As you've read from the title i'm getting closer to that 30 day mark, i'm nearly 16 and started fapping when i was 10, I managed to get out of PMO(and MO, hard mode rn i guess), videogames, instagram (not beiing active there, just something that made me feel "social") and now i see how i have had no income of dopamine from anywhere except from those three beasts up there. I started considering gaming even worse than porn since after you become very good you don't even have to put effort and energies in getting free dopamine.

    Let's get to the point now, I consider myself to be pretty smart and mature, i've passed trough a lot of stuff that happens to everybody, but when it all happens in the time of 6 years it also gets you grown. I was soo deep in videogames that i practically went very forward in the age curve and solved issues that i probably would've encountered in around 5-10 years now but didn't get the bases because i had isolated myself. Now i'm back to buisness, i went to a psichologist and all the stuff and understood and "fixed" what i though were my problems.

    The real issue is that i can't find people that are close enough to my point of view to actually make friends with them, right now most of the friends i have are kept to meet new people or girls. I'm also enough good looking but i struggle in getting in touch with girls because since i don't really hang out with people the only way i can talk and meet girls is by having something happen or having a good situation so that i can talk. What i'm asking you guys is not an elogy for having reached this number of days, but what i could do to find people to make friends with that can understand me or that i can feel. I think beiing too much of something is a double edged sword but with the tip pointing at you. Thank you for reading and sorry for grammar mistakes, i'm from another country


    Edit: now i'm also facing the fact that since i had a very big ego, given by the fact that i'm left handed and can manage to do a lot of stuff other people cannot (just saying, i know it's not like that actually) i'm also fighting with perfectionism, that has been forced into my head by one of the only real friends i've had, until i understood he was not the guy i were to be matched with
     
  2. hurt_

    hurt_ Fapstronaut

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    Hi Davinblake. Everyone is different and makes friends differently, and I understand you feel sort of out of place because you don't feel the same way as your peers. If you're 16 maybe you are in school of some sorts? When I was in high school I didn't have a lot of friends and I also sort of felt awkward or different, especially knowing I watched a lot of porn and I felt awkward in front of girls because of that. Maybe there are some clubs or activities you can do to meet people? I know when I went to university it was way more diverse there and old and young people were mixed in so maybe if you go to a college or university after school you might be able to meet people like yourself.
    Best of luck on your journey.
     
  3. countitjoy5

    countitjoy5 Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't beat myself up too much about gaming. Gaming won't destroy your soul whereas pornography and sexual sin will. I understand your struggle with loneliness but make no mistake about it, no matter how hard your life gets with isolation and finding friends and companionship, PMO will on make it 100 times worse. So you can take the pain of loneliness and just start multiplying it until you lose your mind because that is what PMO will do for you, so don't be so quick to give in.
     
  4. Davinblake

    Davinblake Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, i understand what you mean, i've luckily never actually had issues with girls, i'm kind of a buff dude in phisique part but even there i do calisthenics and so going to a gym is some sort of thing i don't need. When school is over my back i can't but usually i do Boxe, i managed to join a sort of "handball" club in school and somehow there are more girls in there than in my class. Since i'm still young and since i've always gotten warned by one of my older friends not to fap, i've never gotten into what a lot of people here touched. Just before NoFap i was getting into some very bad shit (As pornography) and i was starting to be just like most of the people here would say "insecure"; that made me think and made me start this, so, added with the fact that i'm already a bit into nofap, i don't really have the probelm of insecurity anymore. That said, i used to be a perfectionist for a while and that left in me the need to live in an harem as the final goal, now i'm slowly understanding a bit more about life and it goes on bla bla bla...

    Yes, i've experienced gaming bare hands at european levels, and let me tell you, it even a worse beast than pornography for me. I said to myself that the next masturbation i'll get will and can only be from a girl, not me, so i won't give up (probably for a long time, probably not, who knows). If you're into gaming as much as i was (every day of the week, wether there was to study or not i was on the pc) i would raccomend stopping a bit more every day, you'll see the same way i did or even better, that it supplies for a lot of that dopamine you miss during porn. I went on your profile and have seen how religious you are, i would like to adress that thing aswell: you surely can do whatever but if you want to explain something to someone you defenately can't have or use values of yours, neither you can use something that is personal. you must go fully objective because everyone will interpret what you say in a different way but by making it christian you're not adressing most people problems. Hope you can understand what i'm saying here.


    Have a nice day you both
     

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