23 Year Old Looking to Restart

Hello,

I've recently been able to recognize that I'm addicted to pornography and masturbation. It's been extremely tough to even get to this point, and so I was recommended to look to join a community as to alleviate feelings of shame. It turns out that I've had an experience of abuse during my childhood with someone that I was supposed to trust, which has made it even harder to open up. Most of my triggers seem to be associated with anxiety and not feeling good enough. Specifically, it's in moments of panic that I feel the compulsion to return to porn or masturbation. I've only really managed to abstain for the last 2-3 days, and so any tips would be greatly appreciated. Here's to hoping that I can progress.

Thanks,

Raz

 

Thank you for replying!! Reading your message saved me from an urge and got me to turn off my phone and social media. I'm about to take your recommendation and go grab some fresh air. I think that just getting off from work and having had a long day, it's become somewhat habitual to PMO. I need to find new ways to deal with the feelings of tiredness.

 

Yes I actually managed to get outside and go for a walk and felt this really weird overwhelming feeling of sadness and tiredness. Turns out that I've been using PMO to avoid feelings that have probably been bubbling under the surface for a while.

 

Day 3:

I barely survived yesterday, but I managed to find ways to enjoy myself and relax without PMOing. I have to admit, it felt pretty weird, but I'm almost glad I gave it a shot.

 

Day 3 Update:

I've run into two major hurdles today. A project that I was really looking forward to completing just lost its supervisor. I've also been in some physical pain, which hasn't been fun. Hopefully I can pull through.

 

Day 4: Had a really rough night, dealing with some pain and anxiety, but managed to survive without slipping up. It's crazy to realize how much I've relied on PMO for relief of anything and everything.

 

I appreciate that man, because it's true, I've been using fake exits for so long. It actually kind of scares me, and makes me wonder how much pain and anxiety still lives in me after all these years. Do you know any better ways to process those feelings?

 

Day 4 Update: It's been a really tough and down day. The fact that my body's been in some physical pain hasn't helped, and my mood's just been really trash. Sadness, and just lingering anxiety around worrying about different things hasn't helped. I'm staying strong because I know it'll be worth it in the long run.

 

Day 5: Got a good night's rest last night, and am feeling a bit more in control. Got some school work done and haven't felt any urges. Hoping things continue but who knows.

 

Cheers brother, I appreciate that. You're definitely right; there are a ton of things I've gotta let go of. It's hard though, because so much of PMO'ing was just a means of avoidance. To have to face these feelings can be so overwhelming, especially when I've got things going on at school. Here's to hoping I make it through!

 

Day 6: Had some urges last night and this morning, but they seemed to be associated with a bit of loneliness. I was able to realize what was going on, and that my urges were nothing more than urges. They've subsided for now, but I suspect they'll be back every so often.

 

Day 7: Had some urges as I woke up this morning, and a bunch of minor erections as a result of the urges, but I was able to stay in control. I found that focusing on my breathing, and taking consistent deep breaths really helped me control how I felt. Things are looking up today with school work and such, but I'm hoping to finally hit 7 days for the first time in years.