23 years of addiction, so here I am

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by havinghope, Nov 12, 2019.

  1. havinghope

    havinghope Fapstronaut

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    I have been addicted to porn and masturbating most of my life. It started at 14, and continued all the way through this morning. I'm married with kids, and I just want to be done with this. I've never been able to openly express this struggle with anyone because of fear of judgment or actually being judged by others. I feel the addiction getting worse and progressing. Wanting more and more. It's time to stop. I don't know how to let go of this. Just writing the admission of the addiction brings a little peace to my soul. I imagine a life of freedom from this. Social anxiety being gone. Knowing I don't have this secret. Not having to make sure there's no stains on my underwear so my wife doesn't notice. So many terrible, disgusting things gone. It would be nice. I hope this community is the real deal. I don't want to fail anymore. It starts now, I guess.
     
    ZORROW and lceres6 like this.
  2. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    This community is one of many tools. Tools only work when used often and well. Find your tools and use them as if your life depended on it.
     
  3. havinghope

    havinghope Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, a lot. I appreciate the advice.
     
  4. ZORROW

    ZORROW Fapstronaut

    One of the major reason why porn addicts fail to recover from their addiction is because of this shit word SHAME , my friend i know it is very difficult to accept this front of your family but that is the real deal , if you will always think of this addiction will bring this shame within you then you wont be able to defeat it , dont tell anyone , but just believe in yourself that its ok , this thing is fucking me but you are not alone , otherwise this community wouldnt exists , so accept yourself and its ok we all watch porn and fap at one point of time in our life , now you have created this addiction within yourself and only you can eliminate it , so for starters i want you to read this book ( YOUR BRAIN ON PORN-BY-GARY WILSON) you will find it on the internet and read it full and understand about this problem and then go and kill this habit .

    The more you will acquire knowledge the more you will become stronger , from this hour of this day believe that you are not alone in this journey and we are here for you , by hook or by crook you will kill this filthy habit and you will feel ashamed due to this habit , The major part towards healing process is first accept the way you are from inside and from outside then begin the changing process .

    You are far bigger than your habit and its a battle of YOU VS YOU we can only help you if you will help yourself , be busy as much as possible and read that book . Listen my friend time doesnt wait for anyone time will pass and every second away from PMO is contributing towards your healing process , so be positive , prepare yourself for the worst withdrawal symptoms , because the sky is most dark before the sun rise , You can win and you will , I believe in you , you can do it my friend , we all are here to help each other , whenever you feel any difficulty dont hesitate just post here and we will help you asap . Good luck , God bless you . :) ;)
     
  5. havinghope

    havinghope Fapstronaut

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    Zorrow,
    Thank you for the response. I will definitely give the book a read. Sometimes just understanding something can give you the tools you need to fight it. I've never admitted this addiction to anyone, so this place is the place for me. I know that. I can feel it. Thanks for the support brother.
     
    ZORROW likes this.
  6. ZORROW

    ZORROW Fapstronaut

    Always here to help :) Good Luck brother :)
     
  7. havinghope

    havinghope Fapstronaut

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    Going to start the day off right. I just got to my office which is a trigger for me everyday. I have a private office and it's easy for me to shut the door and get on cams. Not going to do it right now. I'm interested in seeing if I'm more productive. I usually spend at least the first half of my day searching for someone on cams, only to feel shitty immediately after. I have a few tasks written down to get started today, to hopefully get me to lunch time. Mornings are always the hardest for me. One day at a time. I have to realize I don't need it, I just think I do. I DONT NEED IT. I DONT HAVE TO HAVE IT. I love my wife and kids. I don't want to hurt them. I love myself, I don't want to hurt myself.
     
  8. havinghope

    havinghope Fapstronaut

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    Woke up this morning thinking about sex. I am already becoming aware of feelings and realizing PMO is just a coping mechanism for me. It "relieves" stress. Very temporarily, then causes more stress in the long run. On the way to work I had to talk myself off the ledge a little. Just the thought of a release sounded kind of nice, but again, I don't need it. I'm not going to die without it. Actually the opposite, I get my life back without it. Onward for another day.
     

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