I've changed courses 3 times at the university and could never settle and have a good performance at my studies. I started with Mechanical Engineering when I was 18 in a university around 120km from my home, then I went to Materials Engineering just because I wanted to change for a university closer to my home, and now I went back to Mechanical Engineering but I kind of lost the interest in it. What kills me is that I have been collecting failures in my studies and lying about it to my parents, and at the age I am right now I don't think they would want to continue supporting me if they knew the truth. The truth of my academical failure is one the demons that haunts me and I'm still trying to overcome it. I decided I'm going to leave engineering, wich I guess was a decision that should have been done a long time ago, but I never had the balls or the maturity to do so, and now I found a passion in Economics. I went through a bit of depression while I was unsure about what to do with my life and suicide even came to my head. My almost nonexistent social life also doesn't help. Reading about Stoicism and writing a journal was helping me to deal with my insecurities and also expressing my feelings here is a big relief. I'm struggling to get a streak longer than 15 days but at least it is better than when I used to PMO almost every day. So, that's my story(kind of a confession, actually). I'm open to any advice. Thanks in advance.