23 years old and still a virgin

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Schnabs921, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. You should not yust talk to girls you find attractive. Do you struggle to talk with any girl at all? In that case you should probably start working on overcoming your fears in life. 99% of what you fear will never happen and still fear holds people back in life to the point of crippling you. Yust say something to a girl. Anything would work. They are yust normal people with boobs you know. Start with "hi". Make it a challenge. Say "hi" to 10 girls in the course of a day. It would probably open you up a little.
     
    franco216 likes this.
  2. franco216

    franco216 Fapstronaut

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    In my experience, that's harder than it sounds. I started with saying hi to random strangers (typically not girls) which was much easier.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  3. mnunez9

    mnunez9 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for assuming you were American. And thanks for sharing your perspective and informing me about the laws against Bestiality in other countries.
     
  4. Fengo_Jett

    Fengo_Jett New Fapstronaut

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    Internet dating... gotta love it. That was the gateway to my first serious relationship. Hope it goes well for you. And to everyone who questions it- don't knock it until you try it! Internet dating takes a lot of leg work and pain out of meeting new people and figuring out their intentions.
     
  5. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

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    OK, so I just skimmed most of this, and there seem to be a lot of virgins on here. I lost mine when I was 20 years old and it was with a girl I didn't much care for. I then had sex with 2 other women semi-randomly. Then I met a girl who I liked but we only had sex 1 time (that's just the way it worked out). Then I finally met a girl and we dated and had an amazing time. ( I don't know if this was relevant at all)

    I was horrible with women, but you know what, they always liked me, or rather some women always liked me. And probably you guys too. All of you. In your lives, there are probably 2-3 women who are kind of curious about you. I swear it's some sort of cosmic rule. There are rarely more than 3 women who are curious about you at the same time. You need to find them. Maybe they are at the coffee shop, or library, or gym, or local restaurant, or maybe your work. You'll never get them all. Only one. That's some sort of rule. But, if you want to get them here is what you need to do.

    1) forget about getting a woman. You can't get any woman. She either likes you or she doesn't. Your job is just to ask them out. Go for coffee, it's cheap and easy and if she says no to coffee then forget about her.

    2) You need to recognize when she is giving you the signal. They tell you when to approach them. It's usually eye contact that is just a little too long. Also, make sure you look around at women's eyes. Don't stare, don't stare, don't stare. But, you need to learn to be comfortable with "gazing them down". If you catch her eyes, and she looks (in a non-fearful way), then she is interested. She's not your girlfriend, she's not going to fuck you yet. She is just curious.

    3) You need to go talk to her. You just do. Find some sort of interesting thing about her, the place, or whatever and just talk about it. If she helps move the conversation along, then she might be interested.

    4) You're probably going to go through a lot of dates and almost dates before you actually meet a girl that you click with.

    5) There is no "way" to meet women. There is no type of guy they are looking for. Some women like tall and handsome, some like moody men, some like humorous, some like status, some like kind and gentle, some like athletic..... get my point? You're probably OK just how you are right now. If you need to lose a few pounds, then go do it.... if you need to lose 150 lbs. then maybe there is an actual problem with your looks. You should reconsider putting dating before you solve some health issues.

    6) become a better version of yourself. Whatever that is.... don't be the mold just because you "should" be. Don't try to be rich if you don't care about money. Don't pretend not to care about money if you REALLY want money. I personally am not super interested in money, but I care enough. I'm also not into music, so a woman who likes guitarists is not someone who I will probably date EVER. Find out who you are and learn to get better at that. This is easier said than done. I'm still working on it.

    7) most importantly, find something that makes you come alive. Music, astronomy, meditation, sky-diving, making furniture, doing pull-ups, yoga, helping blind kids.... do something that makes your inner fire go ablaze..... Fall in love with the world. You're going to attract women who are about the same emotional level as you are. If you have no feelings because of PMO and an unfulfilling life, then you are going to attract women at the same level..... or no women at all. When I have no fire, I get no women. Women want fire.


    So in a nutshell I would say this.

    find your inner fire
    look her in the eye
    go for it
    and them move on if she says no thanks.. there's some girl waiting for you.

    Good Luck
     
    wizard and franco216 like this.
  6. bodigura

    bodigura Fapstronaut

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    23 year old virgin here, honestly there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. but u need go outside and do useful thing like join a clubs or social activities, be a high quality virgin, full of confident, overwhelming and A man :D and your bride-to-be will come to you (one day)
     
    franco216 and Kdot like this.
  7. Kdot

    Kdot Guest

    Yesterday relapsed set my counter going to try harder this time
     
  8. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Forget the social stigma about the label and use it as motivation to better yourself. I used to beat myself up over it, "fucking virgin, you'll never get with a girl, you'll just jack off the rest of your life" type shit. Now I can clearly recognize why I still am one by my past decisions (or lack of decisions in my case) and how I need to go about my life to change that.

    Seeing just how horny I feel and the attraction I have towards girls nowadays compared to when I was jerking off 7 days a week makes me so fucking confident that I'm capable of not only this but many other great things with my life. No joke (and many of you guys will agree with me), when I was always pmoing I NEVER had a deep attraction to girls. I only interacted with those who approached me first and I really only felt an "attraction" to them because of my desire for a girl friend. Now I genuinely feel a biological attraction, and some days it's hard to hide it, if ya get what I'm saying! I'm in a Zumba class and my dance partner noticed making for an awkward and funny few minutes! Seriously, I'm 29 and I feel like I'm in high school again, this time like the stud jock who gets all the girls and not like my old self.

    Yeah I've yet to cash in my card but I feel it happening sooner rather than later. What's helped me is first and foremost cut out the pmo crap, it biologically changes the brain to think you are having sex when you aren't so the attraction for girls just isn't the same. Develop self confidence because it's one of if not the number one thing girls like in guys (I've read about it, watched about it in videos and have been told by multiple girls in my life that that's what they find attractive). And don't judge me, but I carry a condom in my wallet, one in case I happen to need it and two to motivate and push me to go after what I want. A sexless virgin wouldn't need to carry a condom around, what would he use it for? Just little things like that go a long way in boosting confidence.
     
  9. Denzel889

    Denzel889 Fapstronaut

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    I couldn't agree with you more and this was exactly what I was trying to say... Some people think that those who had lots of relationships are experienced and happy because they've tried with a lot of different partners... But it can be just the opposite, because those people end up alone and don't have interest in having new relationships because they are tired of getting a partner that will let them down again and they are afraid that they are going to split up again so they don't even try to meet someone who can be really good, with megapositive character... So yes I agree with, virginity is more positive than negative because you let yourself more opportunites to get than having too many experiences with bad partners in the past...
     
  10. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

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    Well, I'm a 23 Year old Virgin too. I thought about it and myself a lot.
    My problem is definetely not that I'm unattractive to women. There was at least one woman in my life I was sure of I could have sex with if I just wanted. When I was 21 there was a girl who asked me for my number and texted me all the time. She really tried to get me to ask her out. She wrote things like: Are you going to this event? Do you like to watch horror movies? She pretty much agreed on everything I said. But I had no attraction for this girl. So I have no reason and no right to fault girls for my virginity.
    Girls never avoid me or anything. I have no problems having conversations with them. I'm just not good at starting conversations but as soon as a conversation gets going it goes well most of the time. I'm more of a listener than a talker but from what I've heard that can be quite a possitive attribute. I'm often scared of the reaction a girl woild give me if she found out I'm completely unexperienced. That's holding me back and I have to get rid of this thinking.
    I don't put myself down for being a virgin. I love myself a lot and I know I would be a good catch. If a girl is not interested that's fine with me. I don't base my confidence on how girls see me. When I got into self improvement and NoFap I realized that I had to stop comparing myself with others and stop judgind myself by external standards. I think that's why so many people just have zero confidence. Society is not the be all end all of things. It's not right with everything. You should listen to your opinion about yourself and not an outside opinion. Do you like yourself? If not change what you have to change so that you can look in the mirror and say:"I'm awesome, I love myself". I stopped putting girls on a pedestal a long time ago. I don't know if I actually ever put girls on a pedestal. Talking to attractive girls is not different than talking to unattractive girls. They're all just humans. When you are on NoFap you stop seeing women as pure sexual beings and you stop being afraid of the attractive ones. I think they notice this.

    My problem is that I struggle very much with contact to other people in general. I have always been kind of a loner. I never had a circle of friends and I didn't like going out. I'm absolutely not into bars, clubs and parties. I hate drinking Alcohol. It tastes so horrible to me. My interests were always intelectual. I love playing board games, card games, something like Billard and complex RPGs, I love intellectual conversations. I think a lot about human behaviour, philosophy and those kinds of things. That's what really interests me. I also go to the gym a lot and want to start bike riding. But those are not the types of activities that help you meet women.

    I never really was at a point where I could get intimate with a woman so I have no idea how I would behave.

    I often feel lonely. I don't really need sex but I want to have emotional and physical intimacy with a woman who I care about.
     

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