23 years old new to NoFap

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by KingDidier, Jul 22, 2020.

  1. KingDidier

    KingDidier Fapstronaut

    I have been putting off truly dealing with this pmo issue for years now, always telling myself that I would eventually free myself from the addiction. I have tried numerous times to "reboot" in other ways with the longest I can remember lasting a month and a half. I'm very hopeful that, by the grace of God, using the resources and community on NoFap, I'll finally be porn free. Thanks for your support! I'll be writing my long-winded in-depth story (mostly for my own sake) below if you care to read.*May be triggering don't read if you'reexperiencing urges*

    My Story: From a young age, I was very curious about my sexuality and remember being punished for doing naive but borderline sexual things with other kids. At the age of nine or ten, after reading a strip club sign titled, "SexyNude", which my parents lazily explained as "bad", I typed it in to the internet search bar on our home computer. I remember looking at pictures of naked adult women for the first time. It was extremely traumatic, but the rush was exciting/stimulating and I was certainly hooked. Not long after, I discovered hardcore p. online, which was even more traumatizing and shocking. I started fapping[pre pubescent mind you] to orgasm before I went to bed most nights. My access to porn was limited therein for a couple years, but the damage was already done.
    During Jr. high/High-school, my internet access increased and so did my p. usage. I was starting to pmo regularly. This surprisingly didn't really affect my confidence and youthful vigor at this time. I was decently popular in high-school and generally succeeded especially in athletics. Sexually I had a good amount of opportunities to become sexually active, but I never did due to my faith and my parents advice on dating and marriage. I know people have different views on this, but I am happy to still have my virginity and am saving it for marriage[I know that's useless though unless I can reroute my brain's view of sexuality].
    It wasn't till after high-school into college that I started realizing that I was medicating with p. and that it was extremely unhealthy. I struggled a lot with shame and lost a lot of motivation in certain areas. I lost the drive to date in college and wasn't as social as I would've been due to p. Somehow, I still had enough drive to play 4 years of collegiate athletics and finish my degree, but I am still addicted to p. and it's ruining my life! It makes me sick when I think of how much time, energy, confidence and mental health that Porn has taken from me.
    I'm realizing that I can't beat p. without reaching out for help and attacking it directly. I know it is going to be very difficult to reboot my brain after all these years, but I'm gonna give it all I got. That's why I'm here.
     
  2. Hi King. Welcome to NoFap brother. You're doing the best thing for yourself tackling this addiction. I wish you the best on your recovery. Hope you find all the resources you need here at NoFap. Much strength and focus good sir!
     
    One Eyed Owl and KingDidier like this.
  3. Welcome to NoFap!!!
     
    KingDidier likes this.

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