24/24 Chat! Let it out, talk, vent, express yourselves, lets heal together.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ShadowFighter, Jun 17, 2022.

  1. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    I know most of us need to talk, so this is a chat room for every thought, struggle and feeling you are facing.
    and anyone who sees the forum has the ability to reply to any post, not because they have to, but because we are here to help and support each other.
    Lets Talk.
     
  2. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    i think what pushes us mostly towards porn or fapping, is the feeling of loneliness and unwanted, unloved, right?
     
  3. Sh@un2610

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Very true. For some reason, people like us remain alone. Maybe due to some childhood trauma, bullying or harsh parentage, bad teachers or bad company.

    Whatever it is, it hampers our self esteem and we start seeing ourselves as losers, confidence-less, weak. So we can't connect with others fearing we might be judged, and they will know what loser we are. We avoid people, and thus we are left with nothing. The true problem is not porn, it's our loneliness.
     
  4. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    Very true my fellow fighter, our loneliness is what leads us to our addictions, from porn, to drugs etc.
    speaking about it is part of the healing, that is why it is very important to know that no one is alone, no one is judged, each and everyone we meet even the most successful have their own weaknesses, problems, secret addictions. we need courage and support each other.
     
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  5. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    Today is a new chance to pursue our Goal, stay strong! fight like it all depends on you, fight like its your last chance to fight, fight like its your only chance to prove yourself.
     
    Buddhabro2.0 likes this.
  6. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

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    I can agree with the statement, that the loneliness pushes us to this kind of impulsive behavior. I guess that we should put this time into something more productive like reading. Plus, we should enjoy that we are alone.
     
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  7. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    Good observation fellow fighter, could you give us advice on how to enjoy being alone in a productive way?
     
  8. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

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    Actually, it's not much. But I can say what works for me. Books, for sure. Sometimes in foreign languages. Keeps you mind concentrated and keeps your brain working. Sport, as obvious as it is. But not overtrain yourselves. Learn to draw or play musical instrument. It is maybe not that productive as it looks, but agree, learning favorite song is giving enough pleasure. Typing texts and learning how to type fast is a good skill in our technological times. It is also relaxing. And as I said before, foreign languages. It prevents risks of dementia, plus you can make some funny jokes due to the word-play.
     
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  9. Brahmacharya_UK

    Brahmacharya_UK Fapstronaut

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    Thanks to @ShadowFighter for starting this thread and for keeping it going, seen some great recommendations so far.
    If I am at home by myself, I enjoy following educational people on LBRY and Youtube.
    I like to do distance learning courses through e.g. EdX and upgrade my skills.
    I do driving for work sometimes, so I'm by myself a lot, and I find that to be very absorbing.
    If I wasn't doing that I would probably play a lot more computer games (But nothing too addictive).
     
  10. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

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    It is a good thing to hear about self-educating. But beware, YT is as the Rabbit Hole. It can also consume our time as much as the problem that we all trying to fight here.
     
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  11. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    we always ought to be careful in everything we watch or distract ourself with.
     
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  12. xerneas4u

    xerneas4u Fapstronaut

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    By together you mean like as a community lol. I understand.
     
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  13. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    haha yes! welcome to the community fellow fighter
     
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  14. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    DAY 2 : another day has gone by, ANOTHER BATTLE HAS BEEN WON!
    How about you fellow fighters and warriors?
     
  15. Decadent8

    Decadent8 Fapstronaut

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    I’m young and quite attractive, yet my lifestyle, habits and addiction have lead me to the way when I pay for attention.
     
  16. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    it is very good that you acknowledge that my fellow fighter, all you need now is to know your self worth. not only know it, own it, love it and appreciate it and be ready to share yourself with the world authentically, and then the attention will come on its own without you asking it, because you will be an added value to everyone who meets you.
     
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  17. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    today was a hard day, but i managed to overcome the craving and battles. a victory is in sight. keep fighting fellow fighters
     
    Buddhabro2.0 and GryzzlyMischka like this.
  18. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

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    As I said before, it seems so easy, but too hard to complete
     
    ShadowFighter likes this.
  19. For me it was escapism. I could feel the loneliness coming on some nights. It was as if a storm cloud had moved in, and I didn't want to be rained on.

    But I did a lot of thinking about it. Ultimately loneliness is just the materialization of fear, through emotions.

    What is the root of that fear? I think that it is the fear of not getting the sex, or having access to it. The sex drive is such a powerful thing. Other than all the ways that it makes a man productive, it is mainly there for sex. A man can and should feel awesome about life's achievements, in a career, in hobbies, etc (not video games). The man does feel incomplete at times when the sex thing is unstable or unavailable, no matter how well he does in life.

    Fears are actually a healthy response. We fear getting burned so we either avoid the flame or learn to use it properly. We feel the heat, so we react to that potential of danger.

    The pmo addict, like me, feels that fear but has spent too much time in escapist habits. It's kind of like being stuck in the frozen tundra overnight. I build a fire but fear the heat, so I put it out: a deadly mistake.

    I felt the lonely feelings, that were caused by these deep fears, and used pmo. The more you do that, the weaker you become. It gets to the point where you have no spine to accomplish anything worthwhile. Why should you when the thing that quells the fear is cheap and easy?

    Over time I started to notice that if I was in a state of fear, it was because I was doing something worthwhile. You can get to the point where you feel those same fears, but start to read it as a challenge: adrenaline kicks in. That is where you turn the tables on that fear.

    And what about that deep rooted fear of being without sex? Where does it come from? I personally assume that at face value it is at its maximum. The need doesn't require a precursor. The need always resurfaces, like the Loch Ness Monster, when the sex isn't around. The fear is stimulated by the absence of sex, hopefully to force a guy to go out and find a woman. This fear isn't from the so called caveman ancestor, it isn't some oracle who explains the philosophy, and it doesn't have other sides: it just wants sex. Go get it or suffer, it says. That's all it ever says because it's all it CAN say.

    Sorry for the long post. Just some thoughts. And honestly, I couldn't stop writing...
     
    vishop likes this.
  20. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    Wow thanks for sharing my fellow fighter you have enriched us with your thoughts and experience.
    stay strong and keep fighting your battle, you will be victorious.
    fear, loneliness, pain, inner monsters etc, nothing that cannot be destroyed by the only weapon we have : WILLPOWER.
    best of luck in your journey fellow fighter, keep sharing your thoughts whenever you feel like it.
     
    Buddhabro2.0 likes this.

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