1. Welcome to NoFap! Due to spam bots, we have temporarily disabled new accounts. Please check back in a few days. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

24/24 Chat! Let it out, talk, vent, express yourselves, lets heal together.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ShadowFighter, Jun 17, 2022.

  1. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

    63
    193
    33
    Today is a new opportunity to prove to ourselves, that we are in control of our lives, not P nor M nor O .. or anything else.
    join the fight fellow fighters ..
     
    GryzzlyMischka likes this.
  2. alniv

    alniv Fapstronaut

    20
    17
    3
    Let's do it!
     
    ShadowFighter likes this.
  3. Thanks my brother! You are so kind! hmu if you or anybody wants to talk!
     
  4. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

    63
    193
    33
    Dear fellow fighters, today was very hard! i had so many urges, thoughts and almost almost gave up. but then thought about what im doing, and the path i am taking and overcame the temptations. but today was not easy at all. i hope you all are doing exceptionally great and your days was much better than mine. Good luck fellow fighters.
     
    Buddhabro2.0 likes this.
  5. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

    69
    293
    53
    As Navy SEALs say: "Easy day... was yesterday"
     
  6. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

    63
    193
    33
    hats off to that, couldn't agree more! how has your day been brother?
     
  7. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

    69
    293
    53
    Could be better, but at least I feel good. I hope that everyone do the same
     
  8. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

    63
    193
    33
    tomorrow is always better, keep your hopes up brother. you are doing great.
     
  9. ResetButton

    ResetButton Fapstronaut

    192
    654
    93
    I recently got a rejection from a girl because I came off as needy after a relapse. It takes like a week or two of semen retention to feel less vulnerable (the feeling you get after relapse) and I came off as needy which is not good looking. This dropped my confidence and all my social interactions are negative right now.
    I just edged and and feel like shit that I didn't perform as well as I could've.
     
    goodnice 2.0 likes this.
  10. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

    63
    193
    33
    with all respect i tell you brother, neediness has nothing to do with relapsing, the neediness you are feeling is because you have linked your self confidence to the relapse.
    so its a question of personality and mental state and mostly decision.
    separate the relapse from anything in your life, because relapsing doesn't define you at all. doesn't make u needy, doesn't make u weak, doesn't make you unable to perform.
    when you start thinking this way, you will start developing independency of yourself from anything that you could have linked with relapse, and you will rise as stronger, more confident and able to do anything you set your mind to.
    best of luck fellow fighter.
     
  11. Yeah you went through a tough one? You might be out of the woods to make it to day 30. Maybe you'll have one other tough day, max of two more. Hopefully zero. kmp
     
  12. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

    63
    193
    33
    always ready for battle. that's my plan. stay strong brother
     
  13. Since you encouraged me to write here, there is something that I like to talk about.

    When the issue of temptations or triggers comes up, by now, I see it this way:

    (of course, I'm not an expert, just a layman)

    There's three types of triggers, you can get any or all three in a reboot.

    1. emotional - deals with the feelings that make you end up relapsing. i.e. depression, sadness (those are two different things), feelings of worthlessness, failure, or a lack of hope in the rebooting benefits. The brain reacts by saying "how do I stop feeling this way?" so then comes the relapse.

    But you don't have to escape those feelings because if you believe in the process, you can believe in yourself. No person is worthless, and no person is incapable of success. Also remember that these feelings are transitory. Most dudes start to feel optimistic about life after the first month or so. Just hang in there.

    2. physical - the bodily urge to use pmo. The body has to be controlled, like anything else. If you have to urinate, we don't just let it go anywhere. We control it until the appropriate time. For guys who are out camping, the wait won't be long.

    The thing to remember is that the urge dies off. You can also force it to reverse by changing your scene, take a cold shower, read a book about physics, take a run, whatever. Or just wait it out.

    3. psychological - this is the one where your thoughts are telling you to use pmo. They tell you the reboot won't help, that you'll always be a failure, that you can start next week, that everybody does it, and so on. All lies.

    But you notice that there is another voice in there, telling you to stay on the reboot. You know that staying with it is the hard thing to do. By staying on it, in spite of the psychological attack, the voices get quieter as you roll into the second month. I guess they give up. The wise voice will win out, and the wise voice deep in a reboot, or extended reboot starts to tell you about other wise choices to make in life. You encouraged the wise part to get stronger, so the thing that got fed, grows.

    Hope this is helpful. Sometimes I print out good threads so I can read them if I am in a situation of temptation. hmu if you want to chat about recovery.
     
    regulator88, vishop and Buddhabro2.0 like this.
  14. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

    63
    193
    33
    wonderfull and very detailed approach. thank you for your great contribution to this thread. it will help a lot im sure as it helped me. God bless you brother
     
  15. ResetButton

    ResetButton Fapstronaut

    192
    654
    93
    I didn't relapse I just slipped but I would like to change how I deal with rejection in the future and have an abundance mindset. I'll probably just work on friends and then I'll consider getting myself a woman later. And then on the side I'll work on my disciplines. No more looking at nude yoga on yt.
     
  16. God bless you! I had been thinking about it for some months, so I wrote on it. I'm not an expert.
     
    ShadowFighter likes this.
  17. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

    63
    193
    33
    Everyday the battles are gettig stronger, everyday the temptations becomes more powerful even small ones.
    that is why we must stay alert, stay focused and determined.
    remind ourselves why we started, avoid all distractions of our goal.
    and DO NOT stop until we reach it.
    never forget the shame, guilt and horrible feeling the PMO gives you AFTER its done, because before its temptations and feelings are skyrocket beautiful, but ITS ALL A LIE
    Stay strong fellow fighters, i believe in you.
     
    GryzzlyMischka likes this.
  18. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

    69
    293
    53
    I have noticed that the temptations becoming stronger and stronger. But after that when I remember that I don't want to feel pathetic, I get the grip. Plus, when read articles about sex trafficking into the industry, or see the interviews of the producers of this industry, I more and more realize how this industry is consumed with the malevolence, broken people. But still, I cannot understand the people who comes into that industry voluntarily. Money? Yes, they're easy. (No) But what about the future? Health? Reputation? Sometimes I don't understand this world.
     
    ShadowFighter likes this.
  19. Look, I want you to consider something. I wouldn't try to create an "abundance mindset". Instead, just decide what goals you have and then put some time and effort into achieveing them.
    When you are in a hard mode reboot, the resources will be there to achieve these things.
    After that, the woman for you is going to be there.
    Why that happens, I don't understand it, but that's the way it works.
     
  20. ResetButton

    ResetButton Fapstronaut

    192
    654
    93
    What I mean by abundance mindset is that I won't put all my effort into one girl instead I will consider all my options and text multiple love interests instead of wondering if I could have this one girl, if I get her to be my gf then I'll drop the rest that's what I meant. I always have goals that I reach or I'm reaching so theres no worries there. Right now I'm just focusing on the social part of life because I've been a recluse for years and forgot alot of stuff that's where I'm at right now. I do agree however I should be doing hard mode, I've been peeking every so often but it's just tearing yourself away from addiction and it happens. I'm gonna try to peek less I was just vulnerable at that moment and I usually peek if I feel some type of way. But hopefully that won't happen again soon.
     

Share This Page