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24/24 Chat! Let it out, talk, vent, express yourselves, lets heal together.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ShadowFighter, Jun 17, 2022.

  1. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    What amazes me, is our ability to reset all our senses to fight for ourselves by only choosing so ... will power is such an amazing thing. no?
     
  2. You seem like you are struggling with it, which is good.

    What you might consider is to think about the 90 day hard mode reboot as a time to be less social. I mean, you could probably scare up a chick in a desperate moment. But it's not really a good use of this opportunity.

    Maybe it could be a better idea to work on fitness, career, financial, creative, recovery or maintenance goals and projects. Build out this life in isolation, for better focus.

    If you get a girl right now, it will be a major drain on your life. It will either slow you down or could totally prevent you from becoming a success.
     
    goodnice 2.0 likes this.
  3. Mr.Tony

    Mr.Tony Fapstronaut

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    I feel a strange sort of Anger / Frustration and a weird desire to just sleep and not weak up. It's like my body and psychic consider me a loser, I really don't know why...

    Maybe it's due to 22 days of No PMO, I'm not sure though...

    I have a weird feeling around my stomach, like if it's about to explode, not a psychical pain, but something weird to explain - Is that what guys call urges ? I really don't know.
     
  4. totally agree. one needs to take the time to self develop first for minimum of 1 year (realistically several years) before pursuing girls and not having your self esteem blown to bits. Its the great irony that the more you invest in women, the less you can attract them. And vice versa, the more you invest in yourself, the more you can attract them
     
  5. ResetButton

    ResetButton Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I guess I could agree on the solitude it hasn't been easy making friends. I was considering suicide because no matter what I do or how much I change, I can't make friends but going back to life in solitude doesn't seem too bad to me. I'm tired of looking for friends and I'm tired of people not liking me even though I'm nice to them it's getting me frustrated. I'm just gonna withdrawal and go about my own life.
     
  6. Totally absolutely 100% relate to this. Every word.

    My belief is that God sets NoFap men aside from society to succeed. The isolation gives you that focus.
     
    ResetButton likes this.
  7. I think the attraction thing is really a spiritual matter, rather than something that can be quantified here on earth. I think God gives you a woman if you work hard.
     
    ResetButton and goodnice 2.0 like this.
  8. Loneliness and Love are intertwined in our lives as an addict. I feel like I try to cope these emotions which isnt love but an illusion what me wanting instantly get with porn to escape from loneliness. Usually I don't relapse in this emotions during streaks. Boredom, Stress and Hopelessness in real life has become a common pedigree for me to have urges and relapses. When I feel loneliness, I listen to music and songs that somehow increases the chance to confront my feelings of emptiness that is been happening in my life. But if there is hopeless involved then I feel urges to relapse and give up on whatever is happening.
    in real life. The point is I don't want to ever give up, love is the answer I get if I search for this in all my isolation mostly during night.
     
  9. 整列するおとこ

    整列するおとこ Fapstronaut

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    Well, since were venting I'll open up.

    Honestly feel like shit. I haven't been sleeping well for the past week because of my health and being off of work, I feel like I'm currently failing at life, I've lost all confidence and self esteem. Yeah I can't get projects done or a Music career I want to pursue. Feels like I'm out of luck right now plain dry spell in my life.. I'm not even interested to watch tv shows or listen to full DJ mixes which I've been able to in the past it was like ear candy to me. I feel less respected since I'm not working or a genuine friend hell I don't ever really talk to anybody more..

    Yeah It's shit lately.
     
  10. ResetButton

    ResetButton Fapstronaut

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    I like the idea of more hard work. I lost all my motivation with depression and I'm thinking of reducing my my meds to get less brain fog. I've been exercising for weight loss and it's been boosting my mood. Need a new scale and to reduce my calorie intake when I go out for work.
    Overall doing alright but could be better.
     
  11. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    Its great seeing you motived and in action brother, keep going!
    you're going to be very proud with your results soon.
     
  12. ShadowFighter

    ShadowFighter Fapstronaut

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    it amazes me what a strong fighter you are brother!
    Do not let your mind keep tricking you intro believing you are worthless and unloved.
    brother you are loved and i bet you are a source of inspiration to many, but people are way to arrogant to come and tell you that you are.
    find something peaceful to do, away from music (dj mixes), away from toxics like books, hiking, yoga, meditation etc. develop healthy habits that helps you calm down inside out.
    but DO NOT give up on yourself, life is shit yes, but we have the power to flush it down. keep going.
     
  13. Daddyisuehere

    Daddyisuehere Fapstronaut

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    a week 100% zero PMO .
    I became sad for no reason..headache..
    the temptation is so strong to watch P
    its like me vs myself


    I feel like a shit.

    . I can't sleep on time.. I'm used to doing PMO before going to bed. . .

    Bit scared no erection at all :(
     
  14. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

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    Don't be sad. It happens, but do not give up the fight yet. Try meditate before go to bed. Or try to read some awesome book. You will make a good habit through it.
     
  15. Daddyisuehere

    Daddyisuehere Fapstronaut

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    Thank you
    this community is very helpful to stop PMO addiction
    in today's life, especially among men, PMO has become commonplace..


    but i try to quit... this addiction has taken my real life
     
  16. GryzzlyMischka

    GryzzlyMischka Fapstronaut

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    It has taken lots of our time. But yet, we can still fight. If you know what's going on with you, this is your first step to freedom from this habit. Also, try to reflect on your life. One friend told me once: "Self-reflection is a free analog of psychotherapy". But don't overuse it.
     
  17. havlock

    havlock Fapstronaut

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    I am young, and a coward if people reach out to me i freeze, i think of what to say in my head but end up mumbling something, I can never approach aquaintances I dont feel worthless, but I act like i do, I dont understand why.
     
  18. You can build this confidence by a hard mode reboot, and hitting the gym.
     
    Adriian likes this.
  19. INeedHerLove

    INeedHerLove New Fapstronaut

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    This one is going to be a long one, so I guess prepare yourself. Before all, I should mention that I am not a native English speaker and not everything will be grammatically correct, but I will try my best.

    Now, first a little background. I am a male from Europe, I am 20 years old and I have been watching and masturbating to porn since I was 11 I think. At some point 13-14 I have been doing it close to 8-9 times a day, after that, it was around 3-5 times a day until 16 when I got my first girlfriend and I masturbated once daily. Then after 9 months, I was 17 and we broke up and my masturbating habits returned to 3-5 times a day.
    When I was 14 a new girl came into my class. For the first few years until we were 12th grade(It is the last year when you are 18, I don't know the American equivalent) we did not speak much except for me asking for homework to copy and etc., but I have always thought she was a nice person. Then sometimes before that year started she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years and at a class party, she kissed me all of a sudden. Then for the next 6 months, we have been friends with benefits. In the 6th month, I told her that I had developed feelings, but she said that she had none for me, and very quickly after that got back up with her boyfriend. The last time we talked before she got back with her boyfriend I remember I cried in my car with her, I told her that I am unable to reconnect with someone if they leave my life and they were that important, she hugged me and we never spoke/chatted again ( we still followed each other in Instagram, but nothing more ). After that, I only know she went to another city to study and that is it.
    Now, fast-forward a year during which I was in huge pain, I was heartbroken, I was throwing up and crying constantly for her, and all of a sudden she starts posting lots of stories, I am added to her 'close friends' on Instagram ( never before that been in her close friends on Instagram ) and she liked a story of mine. Then another one. Then another one. I go and like a story of her. For a week or so we just liked each other's stories. In that time frame, I saw a few stories where she was in a car with a guy, then I stalked the people she followed and I found him. Then she posted a story late at night with a dog ( she does not have one in that new city ), so I checked his highlights and it's his dog. I posted a story with a Tik Tok that said 'If we stopped talking and you want to approach me, send me a song' and a couple of days later she sent me a song and a specific minute where the lyrics straightforward said that she wants to have sex with me again.
    So, I replied with a song in the same manner, and then she replied with a song where it said that she will call me when she gets home ( in our city ) and the chat stopped there.
    Then, after a few days, she sent a DM of a video and the video was a Tik Tok where it said 'Can we fuck?' to which I sent a Chris Brown song saying I was into it and she sent another song saying that she will keep me up until the sunset and added 'But that's in two days if u into it' to which I replied with a song saying I am into it. Afterward, we sent a few more songs along the same lines and ended it. Then after the two days passed I sent her a DM saying 'When is that in two days?' and she said that there is a change of plans and she will be coming the next day. That same night she had a story where she was in the car of that guy with the dog I mentioned earlier and the caption was 'I will sleep in the next life'.
    Now, to summarize before proceeding further:
    -She has a few stories on Instagram where she is with him
    -She contacted me back strictly for sex
    -She is the woman that I love so much with all my heart and I am in literal physical pain because she is probably banging with another guy
    -She has told me the prior year that she had no romantic feelings toward me
    So, the next day comes and at 6:30 PM she sent me a DM saying '8 PM?' and I liked the text.
    I get to her home at 8 PM, text her to come out, she gets in my car, I drive to my house, we start kissing, have sex and I have trouble with my erection. I managed to get hard when she was giving me oral, but then it goes immediately ( I barely could put a condom on ). Then I made myself sort of hard and kept it for 2-3 minutes, but then it got away again. I made an excuse that the condom was hurting me, finished her with my mouth and hands, then she finished me, then we talked reminiscing about the past. We joked about how I was being dumb for even texting her back knowing what happened the prior year, we talked about her breaking up with her boyfriend again(he cheated again), and we talked about how is she doing in the new city ( she said she is feeling awful and she hates it ), then I tell her how she can come back to our hometown more often, but she said she has no one to come back to ( I was literally tearing up inside because I would spend every second she allows me to with her ), then I made her finish again, then we spoke more and we repeated that up until 2 AM when she was too tired ( the next night she was traveling back to the other city ) and I drove her to her house and that was it. A day later she sent me a Tik Tok related to a celebrity, then I sent her a Tik Tok relating something else and we exchanged literally 3 messages and that is finally it.
    As of writing that, she is in a club, but it seems that it is a girls-only night and I am crying and typing this.
    During our talk when we were physically together she said that she thinks of going to a third city for the next 3 months ( since it's college break ) and I will try to go there from time to time and spend time with her in hopes that she will feel something towards me.

    That was the venting part.
    Now, about the PIED, I stopped watching porn and masturbating since we had sex, but it was my mechanism to fight against depression and sad feelings and now I do not have it.
    My questions regarding PIED:
    1. How long do you think it will pass until I can have a proper erection and have sex?
    2. Does edging without cumming will 'reset' my reboot?
    Also, anything you think I should definitely know regarding it and tips to get to the moment where I can have a proper erection and have sex faster?

    Also, any advice you can offer is quite welcome ( not only regarding PIED, but the story too ).

    Finally, if any of you read it all, please let me know, so I can personally thank you and maybe get to communicate with you more.
    If you did, then your patience is like one of a Buddhist and you, sir, are a legend!

    I wish you all successful reboots and less of the emotions I feel.
     
  20. Sorry about not reading the whole history, man. I just try to answer questions, and get as many as I can in. Time is short, as you know.

    1. The cure for PIED is a 90 day reboot on hard mode.
    2. If you do an easy mode, probably not. But that is the problem, you won't get all these benefits they talk about in the testimonials. Maybe you don't care.

    Usually when we get to the point where PIED is an issue, we are an addict. Mull it over.
     

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