24 year old artist trying to get life on track

Dabbing Bigfoot

Fapstronaut
Hey everyone, I have been fighting this demon for 10 years, which oddly enough is about how long I have been doing art. I am currently trying to get into being a professional concept artist, and feel that I could have gotten a job much earlier in the past if it weren't for my addiction. I want to quit so i can focus on getting a job doing what I love, learn to not go after women for sexual reasons, and to be ok with the idea of being alone. Porn has ruined so much, and i feel it is the only force that really is preventing my success. I want to do a 90 day reboot, and have tried in the past, only to go maybe 10 days tops. I want to do no sex, porn or masterbation of any kind. It is extremely hard because my studio is in fact where i live. I have tried all kinds of blockers but still that urge always seems to win. So i am turning here , hopefully to find answers on what to avoid and such. I am considering taking a break from social media for the time being, because maybe that is feeding into my feelings of me being alone.
 
@Dabbing Bigfoot welcome to nofap. It is great that you have a goal to achieve and are motivated to the necessary work!
It is true the PMO is really a time and energy hog! with out it most of us would have achieved greater things in life.
Yes, Social media it self can be trigger prone! so avoid it as much as you can.

Start a journal in your own age group and record your journey that will help you with accountability.

I wish you good luck!
 
Hey everyone, I have been fighting this demon for 10 years, which oddly enough is about how long I have been doing art. I am currently trying to get into being a professional concept artist, and feel that I could have gotten a job much earlier in the past if it weren't for my addiction. I want to quit so i can focus on getting a job doing what I love, learn to not go after women for sexual reasons, and to be ok with the idea of being alone. Porn has ruined so much, and i feel it is the only force that really is preventing my success. I want to do a 90 day reboot, and have tried in the past, only to go maybe 10 days tops. I want to do no sex, porn or masterbation of any kind. It is extremely hard because my studio is in fact where i live. I have tried all kinds of blockers but still that urge always seems to win. So i am turning here , hopefully to find answers on what to avoid and such. I am considering taking a break from social media for the time being, because maybe that is feeding into my feelings of me being alone.

Welcome! I'm glad you're here. Keep coming back!

You're right about how loneliness helps lead us to acting out. That was an insight that helped me.
 
So i am turning here , hopefully to find answers on what to avoid and such
Hey @Dabbing Bigfoot ,

I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

* L

PS:

One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals.

I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

@C. J. Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/153580/
---
@Reverent Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/
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@KbLnW Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152710/
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@Struggle Bug Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/141911/
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@BigDawg913 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/
---

There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.
 
@StopTheMusic thank you, I am just looking back at the journals a bit more since I had a relapse, but was able to fight it much more successfully than I have in the past . I think i will start Journal in such a fashion.
 
Day 1 -Redo
So I tripped up, after a good 5 day streak of no PMO. This is an incredibly hard fight, however I have to give myself props for the bit of improvement I have shown today. I started to watch porn, and masterbate, however managed to tear myself away for about 2 hours, focusing on other activities. I talked to my accountability partner on whether or not I should reset my streak, as I felt doing so my instinct would be to validate the reset. I did decide to reset it, and unfortunately, I managed to use some , excuse my French, ass backwards reasoning to say its ok to make myself orgasm. Now, I feel a bit drained and worse. I would rather have continued to fight the urge and and just experience that discomfort of pulling myself away instead of this current feeling. I

I am not going to beat myself up though, I am just going to learn from this and remember what worked before: being busy, blocking applications on my phone when at home, not watching TV or laying down on the couch. I should have just eaten breakfast and gone upstairs and worked on my art, however being sick this week I reasoned it would be fine to rest more on the couch. I will get through this.
 
@StopTheMusic thank you, I am just looking back at the journals a bit more since I had a relapse, but was able to fight it much more successfully than I have in the past . I think i will start Journal in such a fashion.
No,

Thank you. Because you are here. Believe me when I say this - you are the most important person here. Why? Because carrying the message to the person addicted to porn is a one of the prime ways I stay clean.

Please keep coming back. Keep posting.

* L
 
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