240 Days Relapse: Advise Needed

Ive been suffering from PIED for about 2.5 years. I've been on two 90+ day streaks. Most recently I went on Hard Mode for 90 days, then began to rewire re introducing O and proceeded to get head a few times. I began to M once daily or every few days. My libido seemed to be improving. I was becoming more able to maintain erections for longer periods of time. However, Randomly at around the 150 day mark, my libido died again. After a few weeks it began to return again but was still not as good as it was before. I would go between fazes of a few days decent erections, few days nothing. I received nudes a few times from a girl I knew and things really began to fall further downhill with my libido. Steadily the few day streaks of good erections got shorter to the point where they began to feel non existent. The entire time during my streak, I had terrible brain fog and depression. I saw a psychiatrist around day 220 who said it seemed unlikely PIED was the cuz of my limpness and rather a combination of depression adhd and preformence anxiety. So i figured what the hell Ill give porn a try again. I assumed maybe I just needed to jump start my libido. I've probably Md to Porn 6 times over the course of week or so since I was told this and a similar amount of times to nudes I had received when things began to fall downhill. I found times where I was up and times and others where I would continue to drop. I noticed that it is extremely difficult to become aroused without physical stimulation. The only time there is an exception is with morning wood, which typically does not feel full.

I realized there was still a massive problem when I tried to M solely thinking about a girl that I have been hooking up with for the past month or so and I was barely able to get semi erect, and another time could not get even a half chub. This seemed to also be the case when I would hook up with her too as I often felt very little down there. I do not understand how this was happening because I like her very much. I've been lucky because she had told me she wanted to wait a while before we had sex. I do not think I would have been able to had she told me she wanted to. Im getting a feeling that she may be ready to do it within a week or two which I very much want to do but am very much scared of what will happen and the aftermath with my friends that could result if something slips out in an aftermath. I have a singular 50mg blue pill that I was given by a close friend of mine that I have been saving for the night when this finally comes. Should I split in half to have 2 25 mg dosses? I feel that performance anxiety could definitely be a factor keeping me from being able to have sex with her, but my ability to get it up been nonexistent recently. I dont know what to do about my this, should I continue to watch porn, continue to try M only to thoughts of her and other women I know? What do I do?