25 next month; no job, no degree, no gf, no friends, almost no family

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by MessedUp93, Apr 19, 2018.

  1. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    I'd like to add all the previous comments that this mindset of stating you as a total failure, although may be very intense and constant, is unrealistic in it's own terms. It's virtually impossible to be such a person that has no qualities or people that care for them (even if your deepest feelings tell otherwise). It's not just because we fell in some way that it is real. I know that it's not as simple and straightforward as this sentences may appear, but at the end of the day this is the reality. As others have said, you have value and dignity simply being alive, and we might try begin to see life as this little and brief moment in which we do our best and hope to build some good influences around us. The rest is accessory. All the best for you, friend!
     
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  2. what are you talking about haha. he never mentioned his parents in this post. depression can have a dozen root causes. mainly it's because of a chemical imbalance in the brain.
     
  3. Out of the Furnace

    Out of the Furnace Fapstronaut

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    @MessedUp93

    this guy here isn´t so wrong in what he says. depression and addiction result from trauma. childhood trauma. my shrink and i are working on this matter at the moment.

    by the way i´m on a 32 days streak at the moment and i´m feeling so good right now. usually i´m suffering from depression and loneliness and it´s almost completely gone.. so yeah i can just suggest you, i don´t know what kind of streak you are on. go and try to make it to 30 days. i assure you, you feel a lot better by that time. and from there you have strength and you can battle whatever is coming your way! i didn´t believe it myself but now i can say going on a longer streak was probably the best decision that i made in a long time!

    don´t give up, keep going!

    EDIT: i guess the pour soul hasn´t logged in some weeks. lets hope he comes back. i know how bad it is to suffer so painfully.
     
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  4. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    Please research developmental trauma. In the past doctors thought and some even think this in the present day that : depression, anxiety, bipolar, compulsive conditions, obsessive conditions, disassociation or addictions were separate unrelated condotions. But now with modern trauma treatments it became clear that all stream from one: resulting emotional disregulation that arose as a result of developmental trauma, incidental trauma or combination of both. Maybe read up about Basel van der Kolk as he explains it nicely. Your surprise is not so strange as despite of private modern trauma centres making millions on treatments, most public and mainstream doctors are way behind modern research and developments and are slow to catch up.
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2018
  5. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    excellent
     
  6. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    correct
     
  7. I'm not going to go in on an argument with you whether or not depression can be caused by different events in life.
     
  8. If you are here is because you are looking for help, I had similar situations in my life... But remember you've chosen to be here after outlasting millions of sperms in your mothers ovary, the same as you make decisions/choices everyday in your life, every emotion or action is a choice of you, make sure before you go to sleep tonight, you write everything good about you, and please do it, make this list of 20 very good qualities about you, filter to ten... and read it for the next 3 months before and after bed time. ;)
    After a couple of weeks, start writing what improvements you want in your like, filter/reduce to the top 10 or 5 and do read them every day as many times as possible(visualize you doing them)...

    Get shit done, leave the comfort zone, live in another town if possible, or just find that old dream you have and chase it doesn't matter what... go for it, go to an underpaid job and climb the stairs with baby step...

    Believe me, I have even delivered flyers for a few weeks before starting college 4 years ago at the age of 32, I've quit a management job to follow my dream, bankrupted the small business I had, separated from my lovely wife, not having a penny in my pocket and a daughter to feed(which I never missed a week of paying her basic needs, and she lives fairly well for the past 3 years), on the same week I started college I got a better job in a shop, now I am on my last year of college with only 500 EUR of debt and already employed in my field after college is done...

    Lucky? No, I went for it, took risks and kept applying for jobs or working hard towards fixing my life, life is a bitc# but you can control this bitc# on the most positive approach, it may not be easy, but can be done ...
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2018
  9. jukebbox

    jukebbox Fapstronaut

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    Dude i am almost at the same spot that you are. Recently I was graduating but started to hate my course. I was living in another city with no money, no gf and all these thoughts were harming me in my studies. I started to suck in tests and got in PM deeper than ever and searching for cheap scorts. It was 2 years ago and this year i came back for my hometown and changed my course. Things are brighter now but still got no job no girl but i think it would be a huge help for you to enter in medical school because it will give you power and meaning in your days.
     
  10. In addition, I thought about quitting college every time I could not understand or thought a subject would be too hard, so I always had this thoughts: "What stops me not doing it? If he/she can, why not I can't, so just go for it, try harder, just do it"... However, our brains is sabotaging us many times, our brain by it's primitive instinct wants to protect us from any harm, but the other main instinct we have is to do everything to survive and evolve to feed our families/ourselves and be the best "hunter" as possible, we still have it, so we can achieve wonders.

    You can be sure about it that no one will ever get sh#t done siting at home complaining about life or doing nothing to make it through, if you don't try and think positive, you will have the same life forever... Motivation only gives the little sparkle, but the desire followed by the drive of doing doesn't matter what, is what keeps the flame stronger each day...
     
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