25, SCT/ADD, Trying to get things straight now - Cheerful Message

Dear NoFap Community,

Im a 25 year old male student, living in Germany (Persian descent though) that may have mastrubated to pornographic content since at least 10 years, (You remember diskettes?) here with the intent to go for a 90 Day Streak.

Personality/What I like...
I am naturally drawn towards all kind of "Arts" , whereas I include Cooking, DJing, or just listening to some 70s African Psych Rock Band as being Art.

Eversince I´m a child I preferred to have my "personal space" - exploring lego, books and things alone rather than being a "ruffian" that plays in dirt trying somersaults.
Also I´m lets say very clumsy/forgetful about stuff (I will point to my SCT/ADD later)
Well that has not changed with being a young adult.
With the difference that my space became DJing, Cooking a lot since I moved from my parents home, reading Hermann Hesse and watching Porn!
My friends tease me for being modest with my "skills". I often am unhappy with my "results". But they, everytime I prepared a dish they drool and claim afterwards that i cook like a young god.

My Porn Behaviour
I´ve known about the explicit negative Impacts of Porn for about 2 Years now.
Since then i´ve been through some lets say "weak attempts" of abstinence that lasted from about 2 Days - 1 Month.

The Cycle looked like this:
- Having around 60GB Porn on Harddrive
- Deleting It
- Still fapping
- Realizing that I fap as much as I did when I had on my Harddrive
- Stop fapping for 2-30Days
- At some time fap again
- Downloading again Porn on Harddrive
- Looking for one unknown Actress that did only 2-4 Scenes for Hours
(I do must say, that I fapped around 2-4 Times per day. )

Current joys/sufferings
My Problem of Porn/Life Organization started maby around 5 Years when I moved from my parents Home to another City for studying a business major.
I was never really attracted to business but I had difficulties finding something being worthy to study at that time and since my major included a 1 year exchange year abroad I chose it.
I hated the Classes and peers. It didn´t matter if you are physically there, exams demanded only for "learning mathematical formulas by heart" kind of engagement. Luckily i quickly made friends outside the campus and fought my way (always watching Porn beneath of course) through living in another town.
I loved the Year abroad (went to South Korea, in between could travel to India, Indonesia, Nepal, Laos...) and had a korean GF for half a year there and after I returned to germany we stayed a couple for 2 Years. I used porn of course very rarely in that relationship when I was in Korea but after I returned I felt dislocated and lost motivation for engaging with my studies (and my GF).
I kept awake until 3/4 Am fapping - watching anime - fapping aggain. Waking up at 1/2 Pm only to realize that i missed all classes of finance this semester again. I had to took a Student Credit because I went beyond the regular study time. But nothing changed.
At one point I said to myself: This isn´t normal.
During that time (2015) I consolidated an ADHD Test. My Mother always kind of knew there was some stuff going on like that with me but nether really tested it. The Test turned out to be positive (I´m not the hyperactive kind though, im the sluggish, "slow in dealing with things" kind of type). Since then im taking Ritalin but it seems not to work with me well (it used to for 2 Months though)

At Present im in my 13th Semester to date. All thats left for me to Graduate is an 6 Week Internship and my Bachelor thesis. The Problem: I feel like my behaviour is constisting of pure laziness, clumsiness with no urge to get things done. Also I tend to getting more lonely/not interested in social interactions lately. I lost motivation for a lot of my hobbies or lose quickly the willpower to see things through that are not as comfy as sitting in bed with a laptop.

With the help of this community i plan on rewire my brain to strive for a behaviour more befitting to an "Clumsy Artsy" Guy like me that whishes for social connections, a cute girlfriend and the worlds best music library in Itunes

Thanks for reading and sorry for the self-centered novel.

 

Thank u I appreciate the help !