25 years old, straight male, have never ejaculated during sex (haven't had much sex to begin with)

My daily hardcore porn viewings began at age 18, and by 21 I'd still never had a girlfriend (or anything close to sex). An 18-year-old virgin found me on Facebook and we began a roller coaster of an Internet love affair (pathetic, I know). She lived 2,000 miles away, and it was almost two years before we managed to stop communicating forever....ish....anyway that overlapped with kicking my porn habit for a few months. I happened into a perfect situation with a beautiful, nice girl at my minimum-wage workplace who liked me a lot. I liked her too. She was only a year younger. But she'd had a few boyfriends; she was a normal person. I wasn't. I was ashamed, and I wanted to catch up, sexually. We never called it dating. We never said, "I love you." She never really got to meet my family. I was a complete shithead, obviously. But hey, I lost my virginity several times over and apparently did some things to her she'd never experienced (unless she was lying to make me feel cool). The last of 3 relationships I tried was with a classmate (I went back to college last year). At this point I had completely relapsed and was watching people fuck on video at least once a night, destroying my erectile stamina. And just as importantly, my emotional focus. She wasn't even particularly attractive to me, but I wanted to get away from porn by sleeping with a real-life woman. It didn't work. If anything, it made it worse. I couldn't keep an erection with her, and I don't think she even wanted to have sex. That ended summer of 2016. I quit masturbating for 5 days while visiting my family for Christmas, and while that was good, I was morose throughout the holidays. All I could think about was how little I'd accomplished with women. Not just from a chauvinistic, getting-laid standpoint. The fact that I've never even let the L-O-V-E word come into a relationship (except the persuasive girl from Facebook, whom I've never met in real life [she was not a catfish though, we'd talked on the phone and Skype and stuff]) is very sad. I don't pursue women right now because I know they deserve more than my miserable, disloyal, undependably-erect self, so why trap them? Also, I'm jealous because of my lack of experience. That said, I haven't whacked off to a dirty video more than twice this year. But I still can't stop fapping! It helps me get to sleep! How do I quit ruining my forearms, penis, wrists, brain, and undergarments without also ruining my sleep? I wanna be the best version of myself. I wanna work out, get a girl, maintain a steady income, and still fucking sleep. Without playing with my ding-dong. What are your techniques, NoFap?