25 yr / New and Hopeful

JimmyHands

New Fapstronaut
Alright everyone,

Im 25 and living in NYC. I've hit the struggle bus recently when I realized I have been doing absolutely nothing towards my Porn addiction. I realized yesterday when I told myself the night before I would make use of my day off and be productive. Guess who stayed in bed till 1:30pm watching porn? This guy. I felt shitty and disgusted with myself. I live with 3 other people and I'm normally a pretty social person, but when I'm in porn mode I become this creepy hermit and I hate it.

I got out of a relationship a year ago that lasted 2 years. It was healthy physically, and emotionally but unfortunately when a couple months out of those 2 years was long distance porn became an issue for me. I'd watch it and masturbate in order to avoid temptations. especially working as a bartender in Manhattan. I still felt pretty motivated to work toward my performance career. I was waking up early to go to auditions, I was going to the gym regularly, and I was keeping in touch with my family and things were going pretty normal.

Towards the end of my relationship with my ex I realized how much porn had impacted my sexlife. It took much longer for me to get "in the mood" if you know what I mean. I also started to put things off to stay home and try to get off. I knew something was off with my reward system in my brain.

Now, a year later, I'm unhappy and un motivated to do anything. I feel like I've fallen into a depression and It seems that porn has been something i can't give up. Even when I've tried. I avoid going out to meet women sometimes cus Ive had embarrassing moments this year not being able to perform the way I used to. I feel like my porn addiction has something to do with it and I want to try this out.

I guess for now, I want to try to ween myself off of porn until I don't need it. I am hoping to put myself out there again and start dating more and see how it goes.

I hope this helps and looking for your support!
 
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