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26 virgin ugly

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by unimportant, Mar 30, 2021.

  1. unimportant

    unimportant Fapstronaut

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    I don't know how to really cope with it anymore, it's gotten to the point I've lost my "zest" for life. I had a girlfriend for almost a year, moved half way across the country to be with her, then I broke it off because she was religious (thus I'm still a virgin) and it was starting to look like raising kids together in the future would be a labyrinth. It ended pleasantly. Other than that I haven't had any relationships. That was 6 years ago.

    I had one woman interested in me 3 years ago, but she was an ex drug addict and in her early 30's, so I didn't respond. Previously 5 years ago there was a woman in her early 30's but at that point there was a whole decade difference and I thought we were incompatible as a result, so I didn't respond.

    I've asked a few women out, but it hasn't panned out. The women that I have had interested in me were co-workers so they got to get to know me first, my looks are bad enough my ex girlfriend initially rejected me until she got to know me. Guess my personality is attractive at least :)

    It's been hard, went through the whole childish mgtow phase and such that most single young guys go through now-a-days I think, but that was like 4 years ago.

    Now it's just a numbness that has been dragging me down like an anchor every moment, it's been so long I feel like Atlas holding up the sky, just this unbelievable weight that I can hold but it would be so nice to have someone release me from it.

    I signed up for a few dating apps over the years, I'm in a small town but even when I extend out of my real range into the nearby cities I get no response, again looks. These apps are basically just picture galleries so I have little chance.

    I know I can't meet someone during the pandemic, I hope to afterwards, but even then I don't know how anymore. I am not working a normal job as during the last year I started a little home business that gets me by. So my social situations where my positive traits might entice a little romance are now entirely absent. Guess the best bet is a friend introducing me to someone, but I only have one friend and she (lesbian) probably won't.

    I don't know, just depressed. It's gotten to the point that my hobbies are dull now, I've been a couch potato as a result of this emotional problem for so long it's hard to remember... feeling.
     
    Mr.Tony, greenishmoon, db001 and 3 others like this.
  2. Hey man, thanks for sharing this.

    I think your first step should be to get off the couch. Start today! Adopt a healthy diet and work out regularly.

    Health and confidence are two of the most attractive qualities in a man. Address your diet and fitness first, and confidence is almost certain to grow. Plus eating better and exercising will improve your mood and morale.

    Don't even worry about relationships for a few months. Do this work for yourself. I hope you feel better and more optimistic soon. Enjoy the journey.
     
  3. unimportant

    unimportant Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I figured I'll just do bodyweight exercises because I'm in an apartment and have overly noise sensitive neighbors (low rent, so I deal with it). I can't do aerobics though because I live in a tourist town and too many people are out at all hours of the day spreading the plague.

    I've been sleeping 10 hours a day, it's not even any sense of conscious depression causing that, it has to just be health from being so inactive during the pandemic. Eating healthy has always been hard, it's expensive but I do eat relatively healthy, not doritos and soda that's for sure. Tend to do bok choy, chicken, other veggies in a stir fry over rice or other things as my dinner. Lunches I make my own bread and make a kale/roasted pepper sandwitch with carrots and peanut butter.

    I actually have a super healthy diet when I get it kicking, but I'm still overweight. Luckily I'm not a blimp walking around, just average american. Though I only properly eat for small periods at a time, a couple weeks maybe, then I start skipping all my meals and eating in bulk (like a whole pot of spaghetti).

    I don't know, it isn't right. The whole small step thing works but even my small steps eventually stop happening, I tend to stick to things for a couple weeks then fall back. I guess I have trouble following through on anything beyond that.
     
  4. ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved

    ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved Fapstronaut

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    Hey...I don't have any "quick" answer to solve all your problems, but one thing I have learned about getting better is to just pick ONE thing, and do it. And don't sway from it. If that means going outside for at least 15 minutes each day, then do it.

    It sounds like you already eat some great foods, it's the depression and feeling down/lazy/unmotivated that is leading to some of your other struggles. Just that first step off the couch and tossing the computer/phone somewhere else is what it takes for me at least, and pretty soon I feel better once I'm up and moving around a bit. Humans have adapted for millennia to be active during the day, and I think that the more we veg out and do nothing, the more it hurts our mental health. It's literally like not fulfilling our biological hardware, and it leads to lots of issues.
     
    unimportant likes this.
  5. I've been doing my workouts at home. Just buy a good exercise mat. I started with pushups and planks. Then as I got stronger I tried some more elaborate routines from the internet. Most important thing is that you set aside that time and do something regularly.

    I was also prone to downing a full pot of pasta! I used the MyFitnessPal app to track calories. This helped me to see which meals were completely undoing my progress. Then after a while I didn't need to track every meal. I'm not an expert, and I don't have the physique of a male model. But I'm much stronger and healthier looking than I was before.

    Remember, just because you have been unsuccessful before does not mean that you will fail next time. If you do this for long enough, the gains you see will make you start to enjoy it all more and want to keep going. Good luck.
     
  6. unimportant

    unimportant Fapstronaut

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    True, I can't really be too active right now due to the pandemic. I can do some exercise in my apartment if it is quiet though, hopefully that will help. I think the pandemic has just magnified the depression which stems from social isolation.

    Thank you for the help. It's good to know someone else has been in the same boat with food haha. I'll check out the app and start body weight exercises today. I did some a couple weeks ago but pushed it too hard, hadn't realized that the pandemic had done such a number on my body, did 45 squats as part of it and couldn't walk for two days without intense pain... Whoops.
     
    ElSabio likes this.
  7. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    I am a 29 years old virgin and trust me, I am good looking. The most important thing is to be healthy! (mentally and physically). This is what attracts women.
    And I mean serious and healthy women. I suffered from chronic fatigue half of my life and I eventually got cured. I invested very much in my health (vitamins, supplements, herbal remedies and everything). You could do the same. Now, I also look forward to having relationships.
     
    goodnice 2.0 likes this.
  8. health is wealth. good job
     
    db001 likes this.
  9. Mr.Tony

    Mr.Tony Fapstronaut

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    I'm 27 years old and i'm a virgin and still proud of being it! ;)

    Stop comparing your life with anyone's!

    Everyone has a different story in this life.

    Some are born with golden spoons in their mouths, they slept with beautiful girls during their teens. Some haven't!

    Some had being young men had being gang raped by a group of monsters as we speak in Prisons and in Bad Poor Countries qhere there is no Law no Order!

    Some are having Penis Surgery and can't use their Penis for the rest of their lives due to a Rare Disease.

    And much much more stories...

    Do not compare your life with anyones!

    There are Millions of people wish to have YOUR LIFE!

    Embrace it and Enjoy! Improve yourself in the process, Good Luck my friend!
     
  10. If you are a virgin it either proves to me that either you spend a lot of time working on yourselves or that you are able to resist the biggest temptations.
     
    Hellshaddoll likes this.
  11. unimportant

    unimportant Fapstronaut

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    I think I've had opportunities like I said in the opening post, but nah man. Being a virgin isn't really enough to go off of to make any kind of judgement on someone I don't think. Though, it may hint at social problems after a certain age, which I may already be past and kind of do have trouble with hitting on women (though I know they tend to feel comfortable around me, as I have been told many times).

    You know how it is, can't make cake if you can't batter women. :eek:
     
  12. Work out and do what you can but its 90% confidence and attitude
     
  13. Postpone sex until you reach your goals. Have a place to live. Have the job you like. Make the money you want to make.

    Some people regret having sex because they made some girls pregnant (unplanned parenthood). Unplanned parenthood made some people quit school. Some quit high school. Watch Maury. See the fights between a guy and girl who had a one-night stand.
     
  14. unimportant

    unimportant Fapstronaut

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    The loneliness is getting harder, honestly having days with consistent physical pain in my chest now. I don't know what to do, it has morphed my mind to repel pretty much any activity on my own. When my friend comes over I have fun, we talk a lot, but aside from that it's just awful.

    Today was so bad I sat there for a few hours staring at the floor, didn't even know that's how long had passed.
     
    greenishmoon and Garek like this.
  15. Start by changing your user name. If you are here to figure how to improve your circumstances then you are important.
     
    Are-we-there-yet? and helloguyz like this.
  16. growpotatoes

    growpotatoes Fapstronaut

    The pandemic is not an excuse to stay home ;) you don't spread the virus going for a walk or a jog in a park...
     
  17. JMBQ64820

    JMBQ64820 Fapstronaut

    What an incredible thinking, honestly this remembers me the saying "You Dont Know What You Have Until You Lose It"

    You are completely RIGHT... there are so many stories of men who had been abused by a cousin or an uncle as a kid and now have traumas and Problematic Sexual Behaviors, people who are traumatized by first sexual experience (or all of them), and many other stories...

    Thinking that "There are Millions of people wish to have YOUR LIFE!" honestly is a very good way to afront feeling bad for being "a 2x years old virgin".
     
    helloguyz and greenishmoon like this.
  18. brassknucks

    brassknucks Fapstronaut

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  19. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    Talk about rude....

    Hey man, I agree with Mr. snake here

    I'm not in your exact situation but you can bet I have felt like it. Like it or not, feel it or not, you still have your life and you can choose until that's taken away from you.
    Yeah that's a though situation but from reading your words you don't seem like lost in victimization or absolutely under ground by depression, so try putting your mind to it. Keep searching, please!
    And in the process you can do everything that has been said on this post and earn some money, change your living and so on.
    I know how important sex might seem but you have a whole life to experiment beside of it, and it is a shame to waste that.

    (Hey what about you female friend, why couldn't she help you out?)
     
  20. Have a roommate. :)
     

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