I don't know how to really cope with it anymore, it's gotten to the point I've lost my "zest" for life. I had a girlfriend for almost a year, moved half way across the country to be with her, then I broke it off because she was religious (thus I'm still a virgin) and it was starting to look like raising kids together in the future would be a labyrinth. It ended pleasantly. Other than that I haven't had any relationships. That was 6 years ago. I had one woman interested in me 3 years ago, but she was an ex drug addict and in her early 30's, so I didn't respond. Previously 5 years ago there was a woman in her early 30's but at that point there was a whole decade difference and I thought we were incompatible as a result, so I didn't respond. I've asked a few women out, but it hasn't panned out. The women that I have had interested in me were co-workers so they got to get to know me first, my looks are bad enough my ex girlfriend initially rejected me until she got to know me. Guess my personality is attractive at least It's been hard, went through the whole childish mgtow phase and such that most single young guys go through now-a-days I think, but that was like 4 years ago. Now it's just a numbness that has been dragging me down like an anchor every moment, it's been so long I feel like Atlas holding up the sky, just this unbelievable weight that I can hold but it would be so nice to have someone release me from it. I signed up for a few dating apps over the years, I'm in a small town but even when I extend out of my real range into the nearby cities I get no response, again looks. These apps are basically just picture galleries so I have little chance. I know I can't meet someone during the pandemic, I hope to afterwards, but even then I don't know how anymore. I am not working a normal job as during the last year I started a little home business that gets me by. So my social situations where my positive traits might entice a little romance are now entirely absent. Guess the best bet is a friend introducing me to someone, but I only have one friend and she (lesbian) probably won't. I don't know, just depressed. It's gotten to the point that my hobbies are dull now, I've been a couch potato as a result of this emotional problem for so long it's hard to remember... feeling.