26 y/o taking responsibility. Ireland

I'm 26 years old, male/he ( and gay in my case).

Porn wasn't really a big part of my life in the past, you could say I was late to the party compared to many of my peers (masturbating at 16, porn at 17 and sex by 19).

I've had a serious 5 year long term relationship, and periods where everything was very balanced...and porn really didn't play much of a part, infact when I was dating, and actively enjoying my own relationships porn wasn't a part of my life - like there wasn't a hole to fill.

Looking back at other times, when my relationship became longer distance or when I moved back home to Mayo ( a rural area compared to where my main social life was which is Dublin city), porn was used as a sedative for the reality I was either lonely or craving emotional intimacy...even in my relationships I could forgo sex, it was the connection that mattered more really.

Right now Porn has slipped back in and become a filler for loneliness, boredom or a craving for connection (and a distraction from doing work).

I decided to come back to Mayo recently because I wanted distance and I've been working to start my own consulting business. Honestly though, 80% of being able to do this is mental toughness and I've let negative habits (porn being number 1) seep in and affect literally every area of my life.

I'm experiencing all of the symptoms;

• PIED
• Decreased sensitivity from overstimulation
• Fatigue
• Low self-esteem or -confidence
• Sense of shame
• Low mood or agitated mood
• Lack of motivation
• Decreased libido
• Disinterest in sex in favor of porn
• Clouding of consciousness, or “brain fog”

So I've decided to do the 90-day Hard Mode reboot.

I know it's going to be hard, and there may well be setbacks but I won't let this continue anymore. This ends today.