27 year old and still a virgin

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Survival of the fittest, May 25, 2020.

  1. I have been masturbating on porn since I was 14 yrs old .. after I was around 18 yrs my academic and mental health was very much affected of which I decided to quit this thing . Was masturbating like 6-7 times per day that time . I finally had put this on a hault on this . But I started experiencing many urine infections which around took me 2-3 yrs to get back on track. Then I some how got my focus and everything back and started my college days . But the college days wasn't easy as well and I somehow lend up again into porn and masturbation and started there for a year or two again . Then again I put this on a hault . I remember my max was 30 days . Although during my prof exams I never use to masturbate but it was unconsciously done as was busy . So never thought so hard on this . And my main trigger at that time was lonliness . I am social awkward even now . Had many crushes . 3-4 girls have before proposed me but I use to loose interest in them after a month . Was busy masturbating . Really lost the contact of real world . No real friends . Had finally one girlfriend that too stayed for 2 months and then got cheated . So had a break up . This is the time I have to react for my career . Heard about NoFap from one of my friend . Read many articles on this and all matched to my symptoms and behaviour I was facing . So decided to give it a try but as days passed I realised I was àddicted to it and this was the reason behind everything I suffered since my whole childhood . It's my 31st day on NoFap pmo hard mode . Ànd I feeling lonely and the fact that I am still a virgin is killing me and the urges are on peak . Please help . I want it to make through 200 days . I am working on it .
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2020
  2. MindPoison

    MindPoison Fapstronaut

    Hey man, I understand the difficulty in going a long time without sex. While I am not a virgin, I have been celibate for a little over three years now.

    Keep trying with women, don't give up. Ask more women out, find some new places where you can meet people. There will be someone who you will fall in love with, I guarantee you.

    PS, the more you do nofap, the more confidence you will have to be able to approach women.
    Best of luck!
    Clerk373, mdnirvana, Agent and 7 others like this.
  3. Thanks a lot brother . I think it's the karma that is returning back to me . In my college time there were two girls who told me that they love me but i rather friendzoned them just because of my habits and fear of commitment .
    Thanks to nofap for the clearity which was missing . Many missing goals were lost in mist . Need to work on everything .
    I am not saying that I didn't got the opportunity . I mean to say I missed it because of my habits .
    And now when I am on nofap the urges are so super high that I feel like contacting them back but I know it's not right because that would be out of urge nothing much and this is not what I am.
    Last edited: May 25, 2020
    Mark_Renton and MindPoison like this.
  4. anaturalsatori

    anaturalsatori Fapstronaut

    It sounds to me like you're on the right track. The feeling of loneliness can arise even when we are with others and/or love interests. Losing your virginity isn't going to solve anything until you can look inward and feel real satisfaction.
  5. I’m in the same boat as you bro and I’m about to be 26 I’m taking the next few months to work on me and once I finish my nofap journey I’m going to get a girlfriend but as of now I’m ridding myself of all weaknesses and am focusing on making myself as masculine as I can, I feel better I’m on day 30 my goal is 180 I think it’s important to focus on the self and develop it
  6. Thank you brother
    anaturalsatori likes this.
  7. Yeah bro . I know we are on same track .. I have read your many posts . All sounds like me narrating my story . Even our target are also same . I too on day 31 and my target is 200. Thanks for making me realise that I am not alone in this fight . Together we will win this thing.
  8. progrez

    progrez New Fapstronaut

    im 32 and still a virgin. If I were you I would learn how to play a guitar and read more books on business and how to be successful and reach goals.
  9. Yeah I have a guitar . Always wanted to learn since childhood but never got chance though .
  10. Justmedalal

    Justmedalal Fapstronaut

    32 years old started pmo at 14
    And i still virgin you are no alone my friend keep fighting and you life will change soon
  11. My relationships never progressed to that level of intimacy and now as I see I think the reason behind is simple .. I was afraid of giving comitment and was occupied by porn and masturbation that I never looked that way . Although the last one of which I was pretty serious about her ,she just cheated on me and I caught her red handed so I had to break up with her . It was difficult. Now I blame PM for everything .
    ss07 likes this.
  12. pavloo91

    pavloo91 Fapstronaut

    I think it all depends on how you look at the fact that you are a virgin at 27. Yes, it's true, it's a bit uncommon in today's world (btw. I'm 28, I had some experience with girls, so to speak, but I have never gone... deep contact if you know what I mean ;) ). But hey - the fact that it's uncommon does not mean it's wrong or bad.

    Yes, I have to say, I am a bit ashamed that I haven't had *proper* sex yet and that I probably lack a lot of sexual knowledge/education, but I think that if I wasn't that ashamed, it wouldn't be that of a big deal for a girl who would like to sleep with me - we are all learning all the time, all life long.

    It might be that you beat yourself up for still being a virgin and you project it onto others, which leads to you believing that they will be very negative about this as well (I say this because I sometimes do so). Which might not be the case. And probably will not be unless you meet a girl that just wants to have some fun with you and then leave - in which case, the fact that she is discouraged because you haven't had sex yet will work to your advantage - you will save yourself a lot of time.

    I believe that girls are much more tolerant than we, men, are inclined to think. If you meet a girl who wants to be with you and you with her - it will work out. Plus being a virgin might even be an added value of sorts - everyone has got used to the fact that at that age everyone has already had sex and have had some experience - the fact that you (and I) don't opens a possibility for a girl to teach you stuff, which might be better than you think (at least I hope so :D )!
  13. Yes you are right in saying that we are always learning new things in life. . I agree with you .
  14. And as it would be our first whenever we get a chance .. we will try to give our best shot and have nothing to compare with. So in this sense I think we are at some advantage.
  15. Have you tried going cold turkey for two-three years? The longer you use (or rather abuse) PMO, the longer it takes to recover... Your problems aren't gonna be fixed by 6 months of honest self-improvement. It's going to take 4-5 times more than that to get things back on track. But it is going to be worth it, if you take the trouble to do hardwork in different aspects of your lifestyle.
    mdnirvana and pavloo91 like this.
  16. No I haven't tried this cold turkey thing . I randomly tried NoFap and I somehow around 21 day realised that I am kind of subconsciously addicted to it .I mean I have never given a thought about it. So i decided to quit and I am doing fine now compared from where I started . And I want to keep on going and give my best shot into it. This is definitely good for me I know that .
    Oliver Gunter and pavloo91 like this.
  17. pavloo91

    pavloo91 Fapstronaut

    Yes, that can give the girl the comfort of us not comparing. However, in the perfect world it would be great if we got the same in return ;) Although chances for that are rather slim.
  18. Brother in order to survive and to be healthy we should not expect too much and it hardly matters if the opposite side is a virgin or not . And it should not be a matter of concern . That should never define a loyalty . There are many other aspects of personality even of which we should focus on . We should rather focus on ourself for now . It's our time to grow .
    Virginity is not the dignity it's the lack of opportunity.
    Oliver Gunter likes this.
  19. pavloo91

    pavloo91 Fapstronaut

    Can you elaborate? This part is a bit unclear.

    We should, we shouldn't - we are human beings and we have our concerns, it would be great if the aspect of virginity did not matter that much, but let's face it - it does, at least for me. Maybe in the future this will change, but for now it matters. And yes, I can see where it's coming from (lack of security etc.).
  20. We are actually animals and to be specific social animals so it's normal to feel the nature's call to conceived and have sex but as our brain is more developed than any other animal we have control over many things and have much freedom too .
    In that quote I just want to say that we should not feel bad about it or feel ashamed of that thing and rather focus on developing skills to cope up with the environment . One day everything will take into place with time . We can't change the beginning but we can change the way things end . Thats in our hand. It's just a part of life and not the whole of the life . Every chapter will take its time to reveal itself . Just be patient and follow nofap and develop skills . We'll get through this storm brother .
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2020
    pavloo91 likes this.

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