27 years old male, single, straight, 90 days without PMO

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Locco, Oct 28, 2015.

  1. Locco

    Locco Fapstronaut

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    Hi,

    I'm looking for an AP.

    I'm 27 years old male, straight, atheist (although I practice buddhism). I'm trying to quit porn for 3-4 years now. Did many long streaks, many relapses and binges also. Slowly came to conclusion that in my case the only way to quit porn for good is to make some huge lifestyle shift. No matter how motivated and dedicated I am to quitting, relapses will appear like weeds because the soil of my life allows them to.

    I make this shift now. It helps me tremendously, but I still need a few months of reboot to loose the grip of porn it has on me. Pure willpower carried me for 45 days but then I failed. Without the external control I see a little chance of succeeding for 90 days or more, and it's crucial for the brain rewiring.

    So I'm looking for an accountability partner. Preferred male, straight. Similar situation and quitting history would be nice, but not necessary. I can give you my experience, insights, encouragement, support and discipline control.

    I don't want to contact you by skype or similar, only written text - chats or, better, emails. We can contact once per day to once per week, depending on the need any of us feel.

    Success to you all,
    Locco
     
  2. LVHC

    LVHC Fapstronaut

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    Hey dude, i'm new to this Nofap forum altho i follow it for more than one year! Take a look at my threads and journal and in any case just send a message. I'm a 27yo male too atheist.

    My story is pretty similar to yours. I've been trying to quit porn for almost two years, my biggest streak was 22 days, like 2 or 3 months ago.

    I live with my gf but we are not at our best... I'm mainly trying to quit porn, not to be more attractive to females, because i actually have too much attention from women that i dont really need, but to be a better person to me, my girlfriend, family and friends, i want to recover the years lost in a deviant life partying, cheating on girlfriends and obviously, binging on porn for hours and hours and hours, while i was at school or unemployed.

    I don't think porn is the root of my problem but without a doubt makes part of it. I stopped binge drinking for like 5 months and that mixed with nightouts were another problem on the big picture!

    Now i'm focused on working, training, my dog, try to get things right with my gf and put my life together...

    Well... i'm gonna go! Think about it! And if you're not up to it, i just wish you good luck on your journey!
     
  3. Victor M.

    Victor M. Fapstronaut

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    What up guys I'm 26, currently got 18 days, longest streak is 46 days. Hopefully I'll get a notification On my phone if you guys are down. If not send me an email [email protected]
     
  4. Locco

    Locco Fapstronaut

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    LVHC: Thanks for the reply. I came to this forum just to find accountability partner, so you won't find any other messages of mine.

    Considering that I don't have a gf, almost zero female attention, and try to quit porn to actually FUCKING GET SOME GIRLS, your accountability would be frustrating to me, LOL. The feeling of loneliness during the night is the last cause of relapses I cannot cope with. Your problem with porn seems to come from a completely different angle. I don't know if it's important for an accountability though, never did one. Let me contact Victor. If nothing comes out of it, I'll let you know.

    Victor: Mail sent.
     
  5. Getting clean

    Getting clean Fapstronaut

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    Hey Locco,
    Ask me a question or two if there is something specific that you want to know about me. Here is a brief synopsis anyway. You may find me unsuitable but, hey, no harm trying.
    I am at a point in my life where I have managed to isolate myself from a really good woman because of P. I have been a selfish fxxk. I have done plenty of hurting and am full of plenty of hurt right now. Two kids, boy and girl aged five and 4 months. Losing it all. The home as well. All down to P in the main.
    Got into mindfulness recently inspired by John Kabat-Zinn and my ex partner. Been trying to practice daily - even driving the car or eating my food. Gotta say it kinda helps deal with all the shit on my plate.
    Have I got any pearls of wisdom? Maybe. Will I be up front and straight. Yes.
    I am on day 9. First attempt at kicking the habit. I am getting to know why I choose this path to loneliness. I am choosing to understand why. I have been getting down to that 'soil' you have talked about. The ground my life has been been planted in has truly stunted my growth. I need to replant myself in pastures new. I am not quite sure exactly how but I know I have to face my demons to make any progress. It is Fxxking tough that's all I know - both jacking the jerking and sorting my head and heart at the same time.
    I am shit at allowing myself to get really close to women. Find it hard to fully trust them. This is my dysfunctional shit.
    Well. There you go. Could say a whole lot more but I don't wanna bore the shit out of you.
    Happy to stay on email or here on Nofap site.
    All the best whatever you decide to do. I hope you find a suitable AP sometime soon.

    GC
     
  6. Locco

    Locco Fapstronaut

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    Hi GC,

    Thanks for your reply, I already found an AP though. I hope you succeed with this as well.

    Getting close to women is fucking scary. Emotionally close I mean, like getting intimate on mental level, leaving no secrets unspoken. And to be honest, I'm not exactly sure this is the right way either, to reach for such an intimacy. Women and psychologists blab about it all the time, but then you open up and she learns about all your fears, doubts, complexes, problems, and she loses the feeling of security with you. You are no longer her strong figure to rest upon. Then the attraction goes away, and the woman herself soon after.

    Or maybe this is just MY dysfunctional shit speaking. I don't know. I learned quantum physics but relationships with women remain a mystery for me, haha :D
     
    Brad1345 likes this.
  7. Mideast

    Mideast Fapstronaut

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    Hi Locco, I'm here with you . You have the crossed the gravity part of PMO. It is like the space ship when it leaves the earth's atmosphere. However after that the ship is free. I tried for years spirituality which is good but I need to enjoy quitting more than the addiction to get over gravity on a continuous basis to get through rough spots in life. I find Echart Tolle's work exciting these days. I'm ready to try anything to not to go back to the 2 dimensional life escape that I have. However, avoiding or fighting never worked in my case. I need a better experience that is constantly available other than PMO. Keep finding things you enjoy more Locco
     
  8. Getting clean

    Getting clean Fapstronaut

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    Hey locCo,
    Thanks. Glad to hear your sorted.
    It is a tough one allowing someone in and fully trusting them. That's what secure people do. I do know of stories where an insecure anxious person meets a secure person and the secure person is patient and understanding and has the capacity to love them through developing trust until they feel securely attached. The stuff of dreams I guess. Or shit movies.
    Am I cynical? Yes. At the moment. Fuck. I'm losing the house and the kids because, I am, in part, really fucked up. But I do believe in hope coupled with a load of hard work at the moment might get me there eventually? Yes. Gotta have hope and belief. What the Fuck would you do otherwise? Give up? Go back to yanking your chain? Or just jump.
    Anyway. Behind every great man is a surprised woman.
    All the best on your journey Locco and keep it real.
    GC.
     

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